A Loud Legend Chapter 12

The troops continued their journey, and eventually made it to a snowy area in Ontario. A cannonball accidentally burst out of Lincoln's wagon. Lincoln looked angrily at Craig, who was bug-eyed with shock, and the serpent pointed his tail at Flecko.

"What just happened, Collin?" Demanded Ronnie Anne. "You just gave away our position! Now we're..." Suddenly, Ronnie Anne got hit in the shoulder with an arrow. The Coons started shooting more arrows!

"Get out of range!" She commanded, and the troops ran from the shower of arrows and pine cones. However, one of the pine cones was on fire, and it hit the wagon Lynn was pulling.

"Save the cannons!" Said Ronnie Anne, and the soldiers started grabbing the cannons and cannonballs out of the burning wagon. However, Craig and Flecko were still trapped inside. Lincoln used Grandpa Albert's sword to cut down Lynn's harnesses, right before the wagon exploded. Craig and Flecko burst out of the explosion.

"Sure, save the llama." Said an angry Craig. Lincoln grabbed the snake-like creature and continued running away from the pinecones and arrows.

The troops eventually made it behind some large rocks, and started firing cannonballs at the Coons. After all the cannonballs were shot out, only one weapon remained: a large grey missile that had the words 'Sister Twister' on it. When the smoke subsided, Oonski appeared riding on a wolf, with his anhinga on his shoulder. The rest of the Coons started appearing on strange animals like moose with fangs, turtle-duck hybrids, and a white domestic dog that became rabid.

"Prepare to fight." Ronnie Anne said to her troops. "If we die, we die with honor." Everyone started taking out their swords, and the Coons started charging.

"Harold." Said Ronnie Anne. "Aim the Sister Twister at Oonski." While Harold was aiming the missile, Lincoln saw a reflection in his sword, and in the reflection was a mountain. If Lincoln aimed the Sister Twister at the mountain, he could cause an avalanche! Lincoln put his sword away, grabbed the missile from Harold, and ran directly to the Coon army. Lincoln pressed a button on the missile, and it started glowing in ten different colors: Cyan, sea-foam green, purple, yellow, red, black, pink, blue, green, and lavender. The lights looked pretty to Craig, and he wrapped himself around the missile. There was also a digital clock counting backwards from 15. A monocle with a crosshair appeared on top of the missile, helping Lincoln aim it at the mountain.

"You might want to light that right about now." Said Craig.

"It's automatic." Said Lincoln. "Though I wonder who created this weapon." The Sister Twister soon launched, but it missed Oonski.

"You missed!" Shouted Craig, still tied to the missile. "How could you miss? He was three feet in front of you!" The Sister Twister soon hit contact with the mountain, and it created a powerful explosion. The explosion caused a great Avalanche to start, but it didn't come without a price. Once Oonski saw the Avalanche, he hit Lincoln with his mace. Lincoln carried Ronnie Anne and started running away with her, running away from the Avalanche. Lynn ran to Lincoln's aid and put the boy on her back. Lincoln was about to pick up Ronnie Anne, but she drowned in the snow. Sid, Heffer, and Harold, along with the other soldiers, were hiding behind a large rock, so they wouldn't get caught in the Avalanche.

Meanwhile, Craig was on a shield, trying to find Lincoln in the open snow.

"Lincoln!" He shouted, sliding through the snow. "Lincoln!" Then he saw a bit of white hair. Craig pulled it up, it wasn't Lincoln, but a seal-like creature with four penguin-like flippers.

"Nope." Said Craig. "Don't know my own strength." He continued sledding and saw a pair of hair-like thingies. He plucked it and it was Flecko.

"You are one lucky bug." Said Craig.

Meanwhile, Lynn and Lincoln were struggling through the snow, trying to find Ronnie Anne. Suddenly, Lincoln noticed her.

"Ronnie Anne!" He said, turning his horse around and grabbing the unconscious Latino general.

Meanwhile, the gang of three were trying to spot Lincoln and Ronnie Anne. Heffer was holding Harold, and Harold was holding Sid.

"Do you see them?" Asked the steer.

"Yes!" Answered Sid. He fired an arrow at them, attached to a long rope. "Now I'll pull them to safe...ty." He grabbed the rope too late.

Meanwhile, Craig finally made it to Lincoln.

"Hey, Lincoln!" Said Craig. "I found a lucky fly!"

"We need help." Said Lincoln. As if it were luck, the arrow Sid fired landed by Lynn's side, and Lincoln grabbed it.

"Ooh, nice." Craig said to Flecko. "You're sitting next to me." Suddenly, both of them noticed a dead end, and they started to scream.

"We're gonna die!" Said Craig. "We're definitely gonna die. There's no way we can survive this!" Before the five would plummet to their doom, Lincoln fired the arrow into the sky, and it landed in Sid's hands. Suddenly, the arrow started dragging Sid, so Harold grabbed Sid, Clyde grabbed Harold, Stinky grabbed Clyde, and so on. Heffer then grabbed the whole team, and they all dragged up Lynn with her four passengers. Once the white-haired teen made it to land, with Ronnie Anne still unconscious, she woke up.

"Collin?" Said Ronnie Anne. "You're the craziest man I ever met. For that, I owe you my life. From now on, you have my trust."

"To Collin," Cheered Sid. "The bravest of us all!"

"You're king of the mountain!" Said Harold. Suddenly, Lincoln felt a pain on his side. This caught the attention of Ronnie Anne.

"Collin, what's wrong?" She asked. Suddenly, she saw Lincoln bleeding! "He's wounded! Get help immediately!" The last thing Lincoln saw before he passed out was Ronnie Anne's face.

Author's Notes: The idea for the name of the 'Sister Twister' came from the episode 'Heavy Meddle', while the color scheme came from The Loud House opening.

In the intro for the show, all the sisters come in different colors: Lori comes in cyan, a shade of blue, Leni comes in sea-foam green, Luna comes in purple, Luan comes in yellow, Lynn comes in red, Lucy comes in black, Lola comes in pink, Lana comes in blue, Lisa comes in green, and Lily comes in lavender, yet Lincoln stays the same. Anyway, I thought that the flashing colors on the 'Sister Twister' would demonstrate how powerful it is.
The 'Sister Twister' also drew inspiration from the rocket Buzz gets taped to in the first Toy Story.
The rabid dog is Doidle, Vicky's dog in The Fairly OddParents episode 'Dog's Day Afternoon'.
 
Along with Snaptrap, the Angry Beavers, and Rancid Rabbit, Doidle will return in Chapter 14.
The fanged moose in this chapter are the Saber-Tooth Moose Lion from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

The Turtle-Ducks are also from Avatar.


The wolf in this chapter is Scar Snout, the wolf from The Rugrats Movie. He's a bit of a mammalian equivalent to Sharptooth from The Land Before Time.

The creature Craig pulls out of the snow in this chapter is a Penguin-Otter, yet another creature from Avatar.

The idea for the flaming pinecones came from Fantastic Mr. Fox.

A Loud Legend Chapter 11

WARNING! Parental guidance is strongly advised for the end of this chapter!
Ronnie Anne's troops were now walking to Ontario to fight Oonski and his army. However, they were starting to feel a bit worn down, and they started singing.

Soldiers: For a long time

We've been marching off to battle

Harold: In a thundering herd,

We feel a lot like cattle

Heffer: Hey! I'm a cattle!

Soldiers: Like the pounding beat,

Our aching feet aren't easy to ignore

Sid: Hey! Think of instead

A girl worth fighting for

Lincoln: Huh?

Sid: That's what I said!

A girl worth fighting for

I want her paler than the moon

With eyes that shine like stars

Harold: My girl will marvel at my strength

Adore my battle scars

Heffer: I wouldn't care

On what she'll wear

Or what she'll look like

It all depends on what she cooks like

Bass, pork, chicken, mmm

Harold (to Lincoln): Bet the local girls

Thought you are quite the charmer

Sid: And I bet the ladies

Love a man in armor!

Soldiers: You can guess what we

Have missed the most

Since we went off to war

Sid: What do we want?

Soldiers: A girl worth fighting for!

Harold: My girl will think I have no faults

Heffer: That I'm a major find

Lincoln: Uh, how about a girl who's got a brain

Who always speaks her mind?

Heffer, Harold, and Sid: Naw!

Sid: My manly ways and turn of phrase

Are sure to thrill her!

Harold: He thinks he's such a lady killer!

(Harold slaps Lynnda's butt, but then she kicks Harold)

Squidward: Got a girl back home

Who’s unlike any other

Harold: Yeah, the only girl

Who'd love him is his mother

Squidward: I heard that!

Soldiers: When we come home from victory

They'll line up at the door!

Sid: What do we want?

Soldiers: A girl worth fighting for!

Sid: Wish that I had...

Soldiers: A girl worth fighting for!

Before the soldiers could sing another verse, they all saw what remained of the Water Tribe. There were no survivors: Oonski and the Coons killed everyone in the village, even the koi Ta and Lui. What remained was a bunny plush. Lincoln noticed it and put it in his backpack, as it reminded him of his childhood toy Bun-Bun.

"I don't understand." Said Ronnie Anne. "My brother should be here."

"Captain!" Said Squidward. "Look." He pointed at where the Royal Woods Army battled the Coons. The Coons won, and they killed everyone, including Bobby Santiago, the general and Ronnie Anne's brother. She saw Heffer holding a green jacket and a cellphone, with the words 'Bobby Santiago' written on it.

"The general." Said the bovine. Suddenly, Clyde ran up to 'Collin' holding a blue skirt and a cellphone, with the words 'Lori Loud' written on it.

"The general's girlfriend." He said, with tears in his eyes. Both Lincoln and Ronnie Anne placed the remains of their siblings in the room where Ta and Lui would swim.

"I'm sorry." Said Lincoln. After that, the troops marched out of the Water Tribe and into Ontario.
Author's Notes: I feel horrible for killing off two Loud House characters in the same chapter. At least now Lori and Bobby will be together forever.
If you're wondering who Clyde's next crush will be, I will explain in Chapter 15.

A Loud Legend Chapter 10

Lincoln, Lynn, Flecko, and Craig just got out of the lake area. Lincoln put make-up on his acne in case someone else sees him. In a dorm, Squidward was arguing with Ronnie-Anne.

"You think your troops are ready to fight?" Squidward asked the Latino teenage girl. "They wouldn't last a minute against the Coons!"

"They completed their training." Said Ronnie Anne.

"Those boys aren't fit to be soldiers than you are to be captain." Said Squidward. "Once Von Strangle reads my report, your troops will never see battle."

"We're not finished!" Demanded Ronnie Anne.

"Be careful, captain." Warned Squidward. "You may be the general's sister, but I am Big Man's counsel. And by the way, I got that job by myself. You're dismissed." Ronnie Anne walked out of Squidward's dorm, and Lincoln tried to make small talk with her.

"Hey, I'll hold him, and you punch!" Suggested Lincoln. Ronnie Anne just ignored him. "For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain." Ronnie Anne smiled slightly, and continued back to her tent. Craig noticed this and popped out of the grass.

"I saw that." He said.

"What?" Asked Lincoln.

"You like her, don't you?" Asked Craig.

"No!" Protested Lincoln. "I..."

"Yeah, right, sure." Said Craig. "Go back to your tent!" Once Lincoln left, Craig and Flecko were now alone.

"I think it's time we took this war into our own hands." Said Craig. He slithered to Squidward's dorm, and the middle-aged man walked out, ready to bathe in the lake. Once the coast was clear, Craig and Flecko entered the dorm. Flecko started typing on Squidward's laptop.

"Let me see what you got." Said Craig, reading the computer screen. "'Dear Ms. Santiago, We're waiting for the Coons at the Water Tribe. It would mean a lot if you were to help us out.' And you forgot to say 'And since we're out of sauerkraut, perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing us some.' HELLO! This is the army! Make it sound more urgent, please! Know what I'm talking about?" Flecko nodded his head in agreement and typed a new letter.

"That's better." Said Craig. "Much better. Now let's print it and go!"

Now that they had the letter, Craig and Flecko needed a mode of transportation, so they went to see Lynn.

"Lynnda, baby." Said Craig." We need a ride." Upon hearing that, Lynn spat at Craig. She was about to spit at Flecko, but then the fly flew off.
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Meanwhile, at the lake, Squidward just finished taking his bath. He dried his body and bald head with two separate towels, while also holding his soaked slippers.

"Insubordinate ruffians." Said Squidward. "You men owe me a new pair of slippers! And I do not scream like a girl." Suddenly, a dog with a cat's face on its butt took a bite out of Squidward's slipper, causing Squidward to scream. On the creature’s back was a dummy of a tall tan general with large muscles, a green shirt, and camouflage-patterned pants. Craig controlled the arms while Flecko controlled the facial features.

"Urgent news for the general." Said Craig, using an Arnold Schwartzanigger-like voice. Squidward couldn't help but stare at the creature the dummy was riding on. "What? Never seen a cross-breed before?" Squidward started directly at where Flecko was, who was cleverly hidden.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"Excuse me?" Responded Craig. "I think the question is, who are you? We're in a war, man! There's no time for stupid questions! I should have your nose for that, rip it right off your face. But I'm feeling gracious today, so carry on before I report you." The cat side of the creature climbed up a nearby tree and broke the dummy, but thankfully, Squidward didn't notice it. When Squidward finished reading the letter the dummy gave him, he burst into Ronnie Anne's tent.

"Captain!" Shouted Squidward. "Urgent news from the general! We're needed at the front!"

"Pack your bags, Flecko." Said Craig, who was watching Squidward from a tree along with Flecko. "We're moving out."

Author's Notes: Flecko typing on the laptop in this chapter is loosely based on a deleted scene in Zootopia, in which Judy Hopps hopped on the keyboards of an elephant's computer to do research on Emmet Otterton, the missing otter.
The idea for sauerkraut came from the Loud House episode 'Changing the Baby'. 

The creature the dummy rides on in this chapter is CatDog, from the rather unusual 90s Nicktoon CatDog.

 

The dummy in this chapter is a nod to Jorgen Von Strangle from The Fairly OddParents.

A Loud Legend Chapter 9

Oonski just knocked over a top of a tree with his mace, and his loyal anhinga dropped a bunny plush. He dropped down and spoke to his fellow Coons.

"What do you see?" Asked Oonski, giving the plush to a large rat.

"Sea prunes, from the Arctic Ocean." Said the rat. A squirrel grabbed it and noticed a hair.

"White fur from polar dogs." Said the squirrel with a French accent. A yellow beaver with a purple nose smelt it and noticed something fishy (no pun intended).

"La and Tui." He said. "Spirits of the Ocean and Moon." He gave the doll back to Oonski.

"This doll came from the Water Tribe," Said the beaver Viking. "Where the Royal Woods army is waiting for us."

"We can avoid them easily." Said another squirrel.

"No." Protested Oonski. "The quickest way to Big Man is through that pass. And besides, the little girl will be missing her doll. We should return it to her."

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Back at DeLisle Isle, Lincoln was about to bathe in the lake with his underwear on, but Craig didn't think it's a good idea.

"This is not a good idea." Said the pint-sized serpent. "What if somebody sees you?"

"Just because I look like a man doesn't mean I have to smell like one." Said Lincoln.

"So a few men don't rinse their socks." Said Craig. "Picky, picky, picky. I personally like that corn chip smell." Lincoln jumped in the lake, but his makeup washed off. Thankfully, his fake facial hair still remained.

"All right. That's enough." Said Craig "Now get out before you get all pruny and stuff."

"If you're so worried, why don't you go stand watch?" Asked Lincoln. Craig agreed to his dismay, and he imitated Lincoln privately.

"Great idea." He said "'Stand watch, Craig, while I blow our secret with my stupid feminine habits.' Pfft. Hygiene." Suddenly, Heffer, Harold, and Sid all ran towards the lake!

"We're doomed!" Said Craig. "If they see Lincoln's acne, he'll end up looking white and red with black all over!"

Meanwhile, in the pond, the gang of three noticed 'Collin'.

"Hey, guys." Said Lincoln, covering his acne with a lily pad. "I didn't know you were here. I was just washing. So now I'm clean, and now I'm gonna go." Lincoln hid behind a rock.

"Come back here." Said Sid. "I know we were jerks to you before, so let's start all over. Hi, I'm Sid."

"And I'm Heffer." Said the yellow steer.

"Hello, Heffer." Said Lincoln.

"And I am Harold," Said Harold, standing on top of a rock. "King of the rock! And there's nothing you girls can do about it!"

"Oh, yeah?" Said Sid. "I bet Collin and I can take you."

"I don't want to take him anywhere." Said Lincoln, placing leaves on his pimples.

"But Collin, we have to fight!" Begged Sid.

"No we don't." Said Lincoln. "We could just close our eyes and swim around."

"Come on. Don't be such a..." Suddenly, Sid felt a bite on his behind, and Craig popped out of the water.

"What a nasty flavor." He said.

"Eel!" Shrieked Sid, and Heffer and Harold became afraid as well. While they were distracted, Lincoln whistled for Lynnda, and she came to his aid. She helped Lincoln get out of the lake, with Craig on her tail (literally). Heffer, Harold, and Sid were now all standing on the rock.

"Some king of the rock." Muttered Sid, but Harold punched him. Meanwhile, Lincoln, Lynnda, and Craig were all walking out of the pond and back to Lincoln's tent.

"Boy, that was close." Said Lincoln, peeling the leaves off his face.

"No, that was vile." Said Craig, brushing his teeth. "You owe me big!"

"I don't want to see a naked man ever again," Stated Lincoln. "Or at least, until I'm 25." Regardless, a whole group of men went charging towards the lake.

"Don't look at me." Said Craig. "I ain't biting any more butts."

Author's Notes: The squirrel with a French accent is one of Les Squirrels in Harvey Beaks.

The large rat is Snap Trap, the antagonist of the rather disappointing Nicktoon TUFF Puppy, who's a bit like Dr. Heinz Doofenschmirtz from Phineas and Ferb.

The beaver with yellow fur and a purple nose is Norbert, one of The Angry Beavers.

We'll see Norbert again, along with his brother Daggett, in Chapter 14.
The bunny plush is a nod to Bun-Bun, a stuffed animal that Lincoln secretly sleeps with in The Loud House. 
The koi fish La and Tui were mystic koi that resided in the Southern Water Tribe in Avatar: The Last Airbemder.

Sea prunes are also from Avatar. It's a small fruit that lives in the ocean, and was a popular delicacy for Water Benders.