The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Chapter 7

The next day, everyone arrived back at the theater, which Tommy decided to call the Pickles Theater. Jenny and her ‘sisters’ have been working on renovations for two days now, and it already looked 30% done. Tommy brought Squidward into the building via a plastic bag to show him the talent show in progress. However, he heard a hideous music coming from the orchestra pit. It was the band, composed of Mervis, Dunglap, and Mr. Sunshine from CatDog, Lillian ‘Lil’ DeVille, another one of Tommy’s friends and twin sister of Phil DeVille and temporarily, Heffer Wolfe. Susie Carmichael was getting frustrated at how the band was sounding out of tune.
“I can’t handle this, Tommy!” She said angrily. “This group of farm animals, except Lil, is impossible to work with! If you want to see me, I’ll be on America’s Got Talent! Sorry for my temper. I’m know I’m normally the goody two-shoes friend, but even I have my limits. Anyway, I hope you can find another conductor.”
“Already have.” Said Tommy, revealing the octopus in the bag.
“Is that the squid from SpongeBob?” Asked Susie.
“I’m an octopus.” Said Squidward. “And I will serve as art director and conductor for this talent show.”
“Good luck trying to conduct those guys.” Said Susie, and she left to perform on America’s Got Talent. Tommy then poured Squidward out of the bag and into a glass of saltwater.
“Attention, everyone!” Said Squidward. “I am going to be the conductor for the talent show! Since you will be more evolved than fish and invertebrates, you will probably be more experienced at playing instruments.” Tommy then tapped the glass with his finger.
“When you start art directing,” Said Tommy. “Please don’t plaster your face everywhere.”
“You have my word!” Said Squidward. “Just please don’t shake the glass again. It makes us stressed.”
“Deal!” Said Tommy. “I better tell Cat that, too. And don’t worry! He only eats live-action meat.” Tommy then went to Cat and Dog’s dressing room to check on them.

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In Cat and Dog’s dressing room, Cat was sewing cat faces on the curtains, much to Dog’s dismay.

“Cat!” Said Dog. “We can’t just put cat faces all over the theater. We need to put everyone else’s faces on there, too!”

“If only it were that easy, my friend.” Said Cat. “But I was put in charge of production design, so I get to design whatever I want!” Suddenly, Tommy entered the room and saw the animals fighting.

“Guys, cut it out!” He commanded. “Cat, you may be co-art director of the program, but you still have to abide by my rules! Here’s a book containing art from the old Nicktoons. Use them as reference.” Tommy then handed Cat a book.

“What if I don’t want to?” Asked Cat.

“Then you’ll have to face consequences from my cousin Angelica!” Said Tommy. “However, if you get this done by May 15th, I will give each of you a reward! Cat, you will get a Toon salmon filet fresh from Disney!” Cat salivated when he heard that. “Dog, if you do a good job helping Cat, you will be rewarded a six-foot-long bully stick!”

“Hi-ho diggity!” Said Dog with delight.

“Squidward Tentacles and Rhonda Lloyd will help you out when/if I can get to them.” Said Tommy, and he left to see progress somewhere else in the theater.

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It was 12 PM, and the Chameleon Brothers Chuck and Leon were almost done with their scavenger hunt. They already found Bessie Higgenbottem, Bunsen the Beast, and Sanjay and Craig. Now they just needed to find Swaysway and Buhdeuce from Breadwinners. The reptiles made it to the house of Breadwinners co-creator Steve Borst, and they knocked on the door.

“Hello?” He asked. “Aren’t you those dinosaurs from Rocko’s Modern Life who did many of the jobs on the show?”

“We’re not dinosaurs.” Said Chuck. “We are chameleons.”

“And we want to know where your bread ducks are.” Said Leon.

“Swaysway and Buhdeuce?” Steve asked. “Why, they’re inside! What do you want them for?”

“We want to use them for a dunk tank for our talent show.” Said Chuck.

“Not another Breadwinners hater.” Said Steve. “Please, have a heart. What did these ducks ever do to you?” He then ran off to grab Swaysway and Buhdeuce and show them to the Chameleons.

“Please.” Said Swaysway. “We had enough hatred, both from the Internet and in real life.”

“Yeah.” Said Buhdeuce, giving a sniffle. “If you want to dunk someone, dunk Fanboy and Chum-Chum! Forget what iMDb has to say about us! Those two dorks may have lasted longer, but they ruined Nick’s reputation!”

“Okay.” Said Chuck. “But we need directions to find Fanboy and Chum-Chum.”

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It was now 5:30 PM, and Squidward’s music session has ended for the day.

“Excellent work, everyone!” Said Squidward. “You have all done a fabulous job! However, Heffer Wolfe, you clearly need work. You will have to practice for two hours after dinner!” Suddenly, the Chameleon Brothers burst into the room.

“We are back from our scavenger hunt!” Said Chuck. “You no longer have to torture the cow!”

“I’m a steer!” Said Heffer.

“Same thing!” Said Leon. “We will take Heffer’s place in the band, and the steer may do something else.”

“But I already forget what I’m supposed to do.” Said Heffer.

“Weren’t you in charge of props?” Asked Mr. Sunshine.

“Oh, yeah!” Said Heffer. “I’ll ask Mr. Pickles what I should do next.” He then walked over to Tommy’s office to ask what to do next.

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Meanwhile, Tommy was talking to Jimmy Neutron. Jimmy was telling Tommy that in the past 5 years, people have been choosing streaming services over cable channels.

“According to my research,” Said Jimmy. “In the past five years, live-action human beings have been favoring streaming services, like Netflix and Amazon Prime, over most cable channels. Anyway, I suggest that as well as making the show live, we should also broadcast it live on YouTube.”

“Okay.” Said Tommy. “I’ll call that secretary again to see if he can make those arrangements.” Heffer then burst into the room.

“Mr. Pickles?” He asked. “What can I do next?”

“Please, call me Tommy.” Answered the purple-haired boy. “How about, until props are needed, you be my gofer.”

“But I’m not a gopher,” Said Heffer. “I’m a steer!”

“Not that kind of gopher.” Said Tommy. “A go-fur. It basically means that you’ll be my servant throughout production of the talent show. I’ll pay you $20 a week plus Chokey Chicken each night. How does that sound?” Heffer salivated upon hearing that.

“Deal!” Said Heffer, and they shook hands.
Author's Notes: Susie getting frustrated by the band in this chapter is inspired by Whoopi Goldberg getting frustrated with a calypso band of rats in an episode of Muppets Tonight.

For a long time, I was going to have Swaysway and Buhdeuce from Breadwinners as dunkees in the talent show, but then I decided that the show was overhated, so I decided to include a worse Nicktoon: FanBoy and Chum-Chum.

For those unfamiliar, FanBoy and Chum-Chum is considered by many as the worst Nicktoon ever. It was about two boys, FanBoy (the one in purple and green) and Chum-Chum (the one in orange and yellow), who would dress up as superheroes and drive everyone nuts. Other characters on the show included pre-teen wizard Kyle, hapless convenience store employees Boog and Lenny, Oz Harmounian, who was basically a clone of Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons, and Yo, a girl who had an insane crush on Chum-Chum and would treat him like a toy.

The show was basically SpongeBob if it starred humans instead of sea creatures. Pendleton Ward tried pitching what would eventually become Adventure Time to Nickelodeon, but they denied it. Twice. Instead, they picked up FanBoy and Chum-Chum, one of their worst-reviewed shows to date. This was a big mistake they made, as Adventure Time (which was instead pitched to Cartoon Network) became a huge success.

On the more obscure Nicktoon My Life as a Teenage Robot, protagonist Jenny Wakemen (aka XJ-9) discovers that she actually has 'sisters', who were created before Jenny, much like how Stitch's 'cousins' on Lilo & Stitch: The Series were created before him.
Two of these sisters, XJ-4 (the lavender one with four arms) and XJ-8 (the blue bulky one), will appear in Chapters 8 and 9 respectively.

The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Chapter 6

As the day went on, the Nicktoons characters were rehearsing for the play: Helga was going to recite one of her poems on the show, Jimmy was building equipment for the show, and Dil and Tucker were on social media websites promoting Tommy’s play. Rudy, however, was having trouble with the posters. Tommy came over and asked what the problem was.
“What’s the problem?” Tommy asked Rudy.

“I don’t know what date the show will premiere.” Answered Rudy.

“It will be on June 10th.” Said Tommy. “We will have over a month to practice the show. The secretary said that IF the show sells 800,000 dollars on opening day, they will call it a success and let us do a tour across the country.”
“Wow!” Said Rudy. “What acts will be on the show? That way I’ll be able to draw whoever will be on the show.”
“Cat and Dog, Helga Pataki, Eliza Thornberry, Jimmy Neutron, and when she comes back, Kimi, will be performing on the show.” Answered Tommy. As if it were magic, he got a message from his best friend since childhood, Charles Grandle Finster, or as everyone else called him, Chuckie.
‘There’s someone here who’d like to see you.’ The text said. Tommy ran to the entrance of the theater and saw a familiar face beside Chuckie, his adopted sister Kimi Watanabe-Finster.
“Good morning, Tommy.” She said, as Tommy blushed. “I’m back from my trip. I heard that you are putting on a talent show. Could I sing on your show? I did karaoke while in Japan.”
“Definitely!” Said Tommy. “Sorry, but I have to go now. Since I am going to be directing this play, I have lots of responsibilities to attend to.” Tommy went back inside to speak to the Chameleon Brothers, Chuck and Leon, to see if they could find some extra Nicktoons. Susie Carmichael, another one of Tommy’s childhood friends, was reluctantly conducting the show. She was helping the band, made up of animal characters, practice their instruments.
“What are you doing here, Tommy?” She asked.
“I am looking for those dinosaur brothers.” He answered.

“Actually, we’re chameleons.” Said Chuck.

“Great!” Said Tommy. “I need your help. I need you too to find these seven cartoon characters.” He then gave out seven posters featuring six different Nicktoons characters. “We need Squidward to serve as our art director, as well as a clarinet player, while the remaining six will be dunked in dunk tanks. Do you think you can do that?”

“What’s in it for us?” Asked Leon.

“How about 50 Somalians?” Asked Tommy, holding out dollar bills.

“Deal!” Said the Chameleons, and they grabbed the dollar bills and ran off to find the missing characters. Suddenly, Tommy heard arguing in the distance. He walked over to where the costume designers, Rhonda Lloyd and Randolph Grant, were working, and they were fighting over how the costumes should be designed.

“Thank goodness you’re here, Thomas!” Said Rhonda, grabbing him by the shirt. “There is no way I’m working with someone who licks his own butt!”

“For your information, human,” Said Randolph. “I had surgery over the years, so I licked several butts!”

“Guys, calm down!” Said Tommy. “Rhonda, why don’t you create costumes for the human characters? Randolph, why don’t you make costumes for the animal characters?”

“Deal!” Said Rhonda.

“And for the record,” Said Tommy. “My name is Tommy, not Thomas.”

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Meanwhile, the Chameleon Brothers rode a Drone-O-Rama brand Hover Couch to the New York Aquarium in Brooklyn, New York. This is where the SpongeBob characters lived, thanks to their immense popularity, and some characters even had their own tanks! The only character who wasn’t there was Sandy Cheeks, who lived in the Mouse House at the Bronx Zoo. When Chuck and Leon entered the building, they asked a curator where Squidward was.

“Do you know where you keep the cartoon squid?” Asked Leon.

“You mean Squidward Tentacles?” Replied the curator. “We’re normally not allowed to show this to the public, but since you’re toons, I can show you our secret exhibit: The SpongeBob SquarePants exhibit!” The curator walked the Chameleon Brothers over to a secret room, and they saw a huge tank featuring many SpongeBob characters. They saw Squidward in a tank with a tiki head for a house, and he was sunbathing under a lamp.

“May we take your squid?” Asked Chuck.

“Technically, he’s an octopus.” Said the curator. “And no, you can’t have him. Squidward, along with all the other SpongeBob characters, are owned by Viacom.”

“How about a trade?” Asked Leon. “We could trade you Muddy Mudskipper!”

“But he’s freshwater!” Said Chuck.

“Actually, toon fish are brackish.” Said the curator. “But I’ll take him! How long do you need Squidward?”

“Until after June 10th.” Said Leon.

“Deal!” Said the curator. “But you don’t have any pockets or bags, so you don’t have the fish on you.”

“We could always get him and bring him to you.” Said Chuck. “Back to the Hover Couch!” The Chameleon Brothers went back to the Hover Couch to find Muddy Mudskipper to trade for Squidward.

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It was now 4 PM, and Tommy was talking to Helga about her poem.

”Are you sure that I should recite this poem I wrote years ago?” She asked. “What if they all laugh at me? The audience, that is?”

“Helga, you can do this!” Said Tommy. “You were able to do this all the time on ‘Hey Arnold’, so you should, no, WILL be able to read your poem in front of a live audience!” Suddenly, the door opened, and it was Rocko and Filbert.

“Did you get the animals and Sokka?” Asked Tommy.

“Did we ever!” Said Filbert, and he brought in a Disney-esque horse and a cartoony-looking dog.

“Great!” Said Tommy. “Bring those to Eliza Thornberry, please. Her dressing room is over there, but we’re going back to Toontown New York at 6.” Rocko and Filburt went to Eliza’s dressing room to drop off the animals. Suddenly, the Chameleons dropped off a plastic water bottle containing Squidward. Tommy picked up the bottle and poured Squidward into a glass of water.

“Is this what you call first class flight?” The cephalopod asked sarcastically.

“Sorry.” Said Tommy. “They were the best we could afford.”

“Why did you bring me here?” Asked Squidward.

“We want you to be an art director and conductor for our play.” Answered Tommy. “We’ll give you a good amount of sand dollars if you help us out!” Squidward’s eyes then lit up.

“Dollars?” He asked. “As in money?”

“Close.” Answered Tommy. “Since it’s getting late, we’ll start tomorrow. You can bunk with my brother in a tank.”

“How do you know you won’t eat me or turn me into a souvenir?” Asked Squidward.

“I don’t eat seafood.” Replied Tommy. “Also, when I was a baby, me and my friends saved a turkey from being Thanksgiving dinner, and we also freed a bowl of sea monkeys back to the sea.”

“Deal!” Said Squidward, and he shook hands with Tommy.

Author's Notes: Somolians were a type of currency that toons would use in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
Before he died, Stephen Hillenburg admitted that Squidward was an octopus, not a squid.
Chuck and Leon were chameleon brothers who appeared on Rocko's Modern Life. They spoke with Scandinavian accents and ran many jobs on the show. In 'Static Cling', they pitched a CGI reboot of The Fatheads, Rocko's favorite show, which was literally made by a bunch of worms.

Before we move on, the Chameleons' reboot of The Fatheads would've looked like this.


The sea monkey incident Tommy mentions in this chapter is a reference to the Rugrats episode 'Beach Blanket Babies'. In that episode, Chuckie gets his first pet: sea monkeys. However, Tommy feels that the sea monkeys (which they call sea moneys) would be happier if they were in their natural habitat, the ocean. So when they visit the beach, Tommy and Chuckie dump the sea monkeys in the cooler and try to dump the cooler's contents into the ocean so the sea monkeys can be free.
Tommy dumping the 'sea moneys' into the cooler.

Muddy Mudskipper was a character on Ren & Stimpy who, from what I've been told, was basically Krusty the Clown from The Simpsons as a fish.

The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Chapter 5

It was 5 PM, and Rocko and Filbert have finally arrived in Toontown California, the original Toontown founded in 1922. They were greeted by a tall grey rabbit with white gloves. He took a bite out of his carrot and started talking.
“What’s up, Doc?” He asked. “The name’s Bugs Bunny. Welcome to Toontown California. How may I help you?”
“We’re here to see this Avatar character.” Said Rocko. “The one who can turn rocks into Gemstones.”
“Avatar: The Last Airbender, you are asking for?” Bugs asked. “You’ll have to follow me.” He guided the wallaby and turtle to the VIP section of Toontown. “You see, kids, in 1997, there were too many toons in Toontown California. They couldn’t stay in Toontown Florida because they’re home to characters created by that Mickey Mouse organization, so the Nicktoons characters, that’s you guys, were moved to a new Toontown in New York. However, when Avatar: The Last Airbender got a sequel series, The Legend of Korra, Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph, and the rest of that old-school gang got moved to Toontown California due to creative differences. As for who else lives in this Toontown, there’s toons from Warner Bros, that’s me, MGM, Hannah-Barbara, Cartoon Network, and DreamWorks.” The trio then arrived at a gate with the four Avatar element symbols on it. A tiny square-shaped hole on the gate opened up, revealing a pair of eyes, one of which had a scar.
“Password please.”
“Story over comedy.” Bugs said with disgust, and the gate opened. The gate keeper was Zuko, from Avatar: The Last Airbender.
“What’s the scar from?” Asked Bugs.
“Don’t ask, for you’ll get the same one.” Zuko threatened, and the trio of animals walked into the VIP section, a whole section of Toontown dedicated to Avatar. There were toons from all sorts of franchises, mostly humans or humanoid-toons, interacting with characters and creatures from the franchise, excluding The Legend of Korra, since they were in Toontown New York. When Rocko and Heffer saw Toph, she was peeling off the metal of a car with her Metal-Bending while her students watched. When Toph felt their presence, she put up a stone wall, blocking the trio of animals.
“What do we have here, lily livers?” Toph asked her students, since she was blind.
“It looks like a lop-eared rabbit, a koala-otter, and a turtle-seal, Miss Beifong.” Said Ho Tun, one of her Metal-Bending students.
“Actually, we’re a wallaby and turtle from New York.” Replied Rocko. “And the rabbit’s our tour guide. Anyway, we need money to put on a show.” Suddenly, Aang appeared before them and questioned Toph.

“Why is this wall here?” Asked Aang. “You know the rule, any Toon is welcome here, especially animals!”

“I know.” Replied Toph in an annoyed tone, and the wall retracted back to the ground.

“Who are you, and why are you here?” Asked Aang.

“I’m Rocko, sir, and this is my friend Filburt, and our tour guide Bugs Bunny.”

“I’m actually gonna make like a banana and split.” Said Bugs, and he dug a hole and burrowed his way out of there.

“Anyway, we came here because we need money for a talent show to show that 90s cartoons are almost as good as anything from the 2010s.” Said Rocko. “We need 10,000 dollars, and we were hoping that your friend would turn some live-action rocks into gemstones.”

“I don’t see why not.” Said Aang. “Toph, do you think you could turn some live-action rocks into gemstones so they can get funds for their talent show?”

“We’ll let you keep whatever stones you want.” Said Filburt.

“Alright.” Said Toph. “Let’s go to the outskirts of Toontown. I will be able to sense real soil out there.”

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A little while later, Rocko, Filbert, Aang, and Toph made it to the entrance of Toontown. Toph walked around and felt live-action rocks from underground. She extended her arms, and real rocks burst out of the ground. When the rocks landed, Toph moved her arms again, and a rock rose to the ground and exploded, revealing a kunzite stone. After five minutes, Toph blew up several more rocks and revealed tourmaline, aquamarine, beryl, and even a diamond!

“The diamond is mine, but the rest you can keep.” Declared Toph. Suddenly, Rocko felt his pocket ring, and it was his O-Phone. He answered the phone, and it was Tommy.

“Hi, Rocko!” Said Tommy. “Did you get the gemstones, yet?”

“Yes, actually.” Answered Rocko. “We were gonna bring them to the Nick Studio to ask if they could fund the show.”

“That’s excellent!” Said Tommy. “However, we need another act. Could you get Sokka over so he would provide another act for us?”

“I don’t see why not.” Said Rocko.

“We also need you to round up two non-talking animals from different studios.” Said Tommy. “We need a horse named Spirit and a dog named Buttons. You’ll find Spirit in the DreamWorks section and Buttons in the Warner Bros section.”

“Okay.” Said Rocko. “See you tomorrow!” He hung up the phone and asked Aang another question.

“Aang,” He asked. “Do you suppose we could borrow your soccer friend for the talent show?”

“You mean Sokka? Sure!” Replied Aang. “But we’ll have to do it in the morning. Right now, you two have to find a place to sleep, and I know where to put you two.”

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Soon, Rocko and Filburt arrived at the Cartoon Network section of Toontown. They saw animal Boy Scouts that looked like they came straight out of O-Town. An orange monkey with a banana-shaped mouth ran over and greeted them.

“Welcome to the Cartoon Network section of Toontown!” He said cheerfully, shaking Rocko’s hand. “My name is Lazlo, and you must be Rocko and Filburt! You and I have the same creator: Joe Murray!”

“He’s right, Rocko.” Said Filburt, doing research on his O-Phone. “Both you and Lazlo have the same creator, Joe Murray, except they were for different channels and different companies.”

“How come I never heard of you before?” Asked Rocko.

“I’m partially to blame.” Admitted Aang. “My show aired five months before Camp Lazlo. Not to mention that Cartoon Network already had two juggernauts at the time: Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends and The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. Anyway, I better be going. Katara doesn’t like it when I’m out after dark.” Aang created an air scooter and zipped off.

“Do you suppose we could sleep here for tonight?” Asked Rocko.

“Sure!” Said Lazlo. “Where do you want to sleep?” He then pulled out a list of many different Cartoon Network shows.

“I want to sleep with Samson!” Said Filburt.

“I guess I’ll sleep with that regular show.” Said Rocko.

“Oh, no!” Said an old man with blue skin and a huge nose. “Not Regular Show! That show is off-the-rails crazy! Those two rapscallions Mordecai and Rigby would always cause mischief and mayhem. And that’s coming from someone from a show called ‘Chowder.’”

“How about the cow and chicken?” Asked Rocko.

“Too gross.” Said a pink elephant wearing a Beanie hat.

“Then where can I sleep?” Asked the marsupial.

“I know where you can sleep!” Said an Asian girl who looked around eleven years old. “However, you need to cover yourself with salt.”

“How come?” Asked Rocko.

“Trust me.” Said the girl, grabbing Rocko’s hand. “By the way, my name’s June.”

“I’m Rocko.” Answered the wallaby, and June Lee walked Rocko over to the Summer Camp Island set for the night.

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The next morning, after convincing Sokka to perform at the talent show, Rocko, Filbert, and Sokka rode Aapa, Aang’s pet sky bison, to the Nick Studios in Burbank, California. When they entered the building, the secretary Tommy encountered the other day was surprised.

“Rocko? Filburt? Sokka?” He asked. “Has my past caught up with my present?”

“We were asked by Thomas Pickles to fund his show.” Said Rocko, dumping the gemstones on the desk. “Will this cover it?”

“Definitely!” Said the secretary, staring at the gemstones with disbelief. “This is enough to not only fund your show, but also to help us jump-start production on The Loud House Movie! Tell Tommy that he can do the talent show!” Filburt then texted Tommy about the news.

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Back in New York, Tommy was watching Cat and Dog practice for their vaudeville act, Cat Diggity Dog. However, it was hard for them to do since they were no longer one animal. Tommy then heard his cellphone making a buzzing noise. He checked the phone, and it was a text from Filburt with a picture of him, Rocko, and Sokka.

“‘They approved the show!’” Tommy read out loud. “‘We’ll return tonight at 4 with the two animals you requested.’ It’s official, guys! We’re going to do the show!” He then left to tell the other characters about the news.

“Hi-ho diggity!” Said Dog.

Author's Notes: In Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling, after floating in space for 20 years, Rocko, Heffer, and Filburt arrive back on Earth in a hyper-modern O-Town (where the show normally takes place). Heffer and Filburt adjust well, but Rocko finds it hard to adapt to the 21st Century. Instead of the characters having iPhones or SmartPhones, the citizens of O-Town had O-Phones.

"This is a phone? But where are all the buttons?"

In the Avatar: The Last Airbender graphic novels, Toph starts a Metal-bending academy. One of her students was Ho Tun, an Earth Kingdom native who would worry about everything.

The Lop-Eared Rabbit, Koala-Otter, and Turtle-Seal are more hybrid animals that inhabit the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Lop-Eared Rabbit

Koala-Otter

Baby Turtle-Seals
Rumors of a Loud House movie have been circulating the web since 2017, but no official film has been announced yet.

The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Chapter 4

Later that day, the Nicktoons characters went to an abandoned theater in Broadway to practice their acts. Rhonda W Lloyd, from Hey Arnold, was talking to Tommy of who to include and who not to include in the talent show.
“Let’s limit the show to 7 acts.” She told him. “You said that yellow piece of cheese was hogging the spotlight for so long?”
“Yes, that’s what I said to myself the other day.” Replied Tommy.
“Alright.” She Said, pulling out a cellphone and creating a list. “Who not to invite: Let’s see, no SpongeBob because he stole our fame, no Fairly OddParents because their show declined in quality and messed up its continuity, no Loud House for the same reason as SpongeBob, and definitely no preschool Nicktoons! Want to know why the Nick Hotel was partially a failure?”
“Why?” Asked Tommy.
“Three words: Nick Junior Characters.” She replied. “Seeing the likes of Dora and Diego, the Backyardigans, the Bubble Guppies, and the PAW Patrol will drive away tweens and teens. Not to mention that preschool characters aren’t allowed in any Toontown.”
“Is that all we’re going to exclude?” Asked Tommy.
“That’s just scratching the surface!” Said Rhonda. “Ninja Turtles? Acquired by Nick, but not created by them. Ren and Stimpy? Their creator did something horrible, and you don’t want to know! Trust me. The Penguins of Madagascar? No, because they’re now owned by Universal. Doug? He’s been owned by Disney for the past 20 years! The Xs or Aaahhh! Real Monsters? Tempting, but we don’t want to be sued by Pixar.”
“Pixar?” Asked Tommy.
“‘Real Monsters’ sounds too similar to Monsters Inc, despite being created first, and The Xs is too much like The Incredibles.” Answered Rhonda.
“Then who can we include?” Asked Tommy.
“Let’s see,” Said Rhonda, looking at a different list on her phone. “Rugrats, that’s you, Rocko’s Modern Life, Hey Arnold, that’s me, Angry Beavers, CatDog, The Wild Thornberrys, As Told By Ginger, Invader ZIM, Jimmy Neutron, ChalkZone, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Danny Phantom, and El Tigre.”
“May I see your ‘Who not to include’ list, please?” Asked Tommy.

“As you wish.” Said Rhonda, handing the phone to Tommy. “But if you get it dirty or break it, Helga will make you pay.” After reading it, Tommy started brainstorming.

“Why don’t we let some of the ‘banned’ Nicktoons participate in a dunk tank?” He proposed. “Audience members could pay to throw stuff at them.”

“That actually sounds not lame!” Said Rhonda. “We’ll set up four dunk tanks, one for a different show each, and I already know which ones: The Mighty B, FanBoy and Chum-Chum, Sanjay and Craig, and Breadwinners.”

“I’m sorry, but I have to say no to FanBoy.” Said Tommy. “CGI characters are banned from all five Toontowns across the country unless they’re Disney, Pixar, DreamWorks, or Blue Sky.”

“What about Jimmy Neutron?” Asked Rhonda.

“He's an exception.” Replied Tommy. “Besides, I’m sure we can figure something out...”

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Back at Sunset Arms, Arnold, Eliza, and Darwin made it to Arnold’s room. Abner, Arnold’s pet pig, was waiting in there, and he happily ran towards Arnold when he entered the room.

“Is this Abner?” Asked Eliza.

“Yes.” Said Arnold. “My parents rescued him from a luau back from before I was born, or at least, that’s how the episode went.”

“Interesting.” Said Eliza. “Let’s see if Abner can actually talk.” She then started snorting like a pig, and Arnold was confused by it. However, Abner understood it and started talking, but only Eliza could hear.

“How can you understand me?” He asked. “Are you gonna eat me?” Abner was oinking, but his lips were synching to human speech.

“Of course, not!” Said Eliza. “I’m a vegetarian. I’m able to talk to you because I can talk to animals, but only those that normally don’t talk. Anyway, one of my friends is holding a talent show showcasing 90s and 2000s Nicktoons. Would you like to be part of my act?”

“Okay.” Replied Abner. “As long as it doesn’t involve meat-eaters.”

——————————

After a lengthy conversation with Rhonda, Tommy has decided to include seven acts in the show. He walked to the stage where the Nicktoons characters were practicing, and he made an announcement.

“Attention, everybody!” Said Tommy. “I have chosen seven acts to include in the show. Cat and Dog will perform Cat Diggity Dog, Helga will recite one of her poems, Eliza Thornberry will talk to animal characters from three different franchises, Jimmy Neutron will show off some of his inventions, Kimi, when she gets back, will sing a song of her choice, six unloved Nicktoons will volunteer for a dunk tank, and Sokka, if we can get him, will tell some jokes. However, we still need a crew to put on the show, so we still require some of you. Jimmy! You will be in charge of boom mikes, effects, cinematography, and lighting. Randolph Grant! You and Rhonda will be in charge of costume design.” Rhonda looked at the cat in disgust. “Cat! You will be our production designer. Squidward Tentacles, if we can get him, will be our art director.”

“I thought we agreed no SpongeBob!” Said Rhonda.

“I know,” Said Tommy. “But he’s the only Nicktoons character with enough artistic talent to help us.”

“What about me?!” Said Rudy Tabootie. “I have artistic talent, too! I drew an entire world with chalk!”

“You’ll be in charge of creating posters, Rudy.” Answered Tommy. “Heffer, you’re in charge of props. Jenny! You and your ‘sisters’ will be in charge of renovations. Dil, you and Tucker are in charge of social media promotion. Gerald Johansson! You will be our host.”

“But we still don’t have the money!” He said.

“That’s why we have Rocko and Filburt taking a plane to Toontown California.” Said Tommy. “They’ll probably be there by 4.” Heffer then raised his hand.

“How come you cut my act out?” Asked Heffer.

“There simply wouldn’t be enough time for everyone’s acts.” Responded Tommy. “Also, cow burps are a contributing factor to global warming.”

“I’m a steer!” Said Heffer. “But I will do the other job you asked me to do, as long as I get Chokey Chicken!”
Author's Notes: In Hey Arnold: The Jungle Movie, rich kid Rhonda Lloyd actually had a 2010s cell phone, despite the show most likely taking place in the 90s.

I imagine that, being able to talk to animals, Eliza would become a vegetarian.
I know that Abner (Arnold's pet pig on Hey Arnold) shouldn't be able to talk, but if Eliza can talk to Spike, Tommy's pet dog, in Rugrats Go Wild, why not Abner?

Randolph Grant was another CatDog character. He was a wealthy and trend-setting cat who would try anything once, as long as it was exciting and attention-getting. His catchphrase was 'And I love it!'

Randolph will appear again in Chapter 6.
Rhonda's list of who to invite and who not to invite is based on Violet's guest list in It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.
Rhonda saying that Nick Jr. characters deterred away older kids from the Nick Hotel is inspired by something that happened to me when I was in 6th grade: When a classmate brought in Nickelodeon's Scene It, I decided to bring in my copy of Trivial Pursuit: Nick Edition. However, I was ridiculed and made fun of by the other students because the game featured preschool characters such as Dora the Explorer, Blue's Clues, and Little Bill.

Sorry. Avatar: The Last Airbender didn't premiere yet.

The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Chapter 3

The next day, Tommy invited Nicktoons characters from different shows, including Hey Arnold, CatDog, Rocko’s Modern Life, Invader ZIM, and of course, The Rugrats, to the Java Lava. Kimi Watanabe-Finster, one of Tommy’s friends, wasn’t present because she was visiting Toontown Japan. Tommy started the meeting by telling them about his phone call from yesterday.
“Okay, everyone!” Said Tommy. “I invited you all here today because I have told Nickelodeon that we can put on a talent show, and all of you can join and perform!”
“Hi-ho diggity!” Said Dog, who was no longer attached to Cat.
“However”, Tommy added. “We need $10,000 to fund the show, and we’re broke.” Tucker Foley, from Danny Phantom, raised his hand.
“We could ask your sister!” He said. “Her mother’s rich, from the last time I checked.”

“Sorry, but that’s a no.” Replied Tommy. “Cheryl Trescott-Pickles lost her job at Megacorp on All Grown Up.”
“Rancid Rabbit is rich!” Said Dog. “Maybe he could offer some money!”
“It has to be live-action money.” Said Tommy. “How are we, cartoon characters, supposed to make money? We don’t have shows anymore!”
“We could have a yard sale!” Suggested Heffer Wolfe.
“We could sell lemonade!” Suggested Sid.
“We could star in commercials!” Suggested Carl Wheezer.
“I have a logical suggestion.” Said Phoebe Heyerdahl. “There’s a character who can control rocks and the earth. However, she lives in Toontown California, which is halfway across the country.”
“Who is she?” Asked Tommy.
“Toph Be Fong,” Answered Jimmy Neutron. “She was from Avatar: The Last Airbender. She was an Earth-Bender who may have been blind, but she was powerful. She could lift a boulder without not just touching it, but not even noticing it! She could even bend rocks from outer space!”
“Could she turn regular live-action rocks into valuable gemstones?” Asked Tommy.
“I am 98% sure.” Answered Jimmy.
“We need someone to visit Toontown California.” Declared Tommy. “Who is willing to visit?” Rocko, Heffer, and Filbert raised their hands.
“We can go to California!” Said Heffer. “In our upcoming special, we go on a quest to find Fatheads creator Ralph Bighead!”
“Heffer!” Said Rocko, placing his hand on Heffer’s mouth. “Not until August.”
“Is that so?” Said Tommy. “Then please go to Toontown California, find Toph, and convince her to bend live-action rocks into gemstones. Think you can do that?”
“Yes, we can.” Said Rocko.
“Rocko’s Modern Life is getting a TV special?!” Shouted Harold. “When will it air?”
“It’s not gonna air on TV.” Said Rocko. “It’ll be a Netflix exclusive, but I’ll give you the date it’ll premiere: August 9th.”
“Oh, boy!” Said Harold. “I need to write that down!”
“Okay, gang!” Said Tommy. “If we’re going to put on a talent show, we have to know each other’s talents!”
“I can burp the alphabet!” Said Heffer.
“I can show off some of my inventions!” Said Jimmy.
“Me and Cat know a vaudeville act!” Said Dog.
“I can talk to animals.” Said Eliza Thornberry, though everyone looked at her weirdly.
“Big deal!” Said Dagit. “Everyone knows animals can talk in cartoons.”
“Not in my show.” Said Eliza. “I can talk to animals who normally can’t talk. I could even talk to Tommy’s dog Spike!”
“That’s impossible!” Said Phil Deville, another one of Tommy’s friends. “Animals on our show couldn’t talk!”
“Perhaps it was when we were still babies,” Said Chuckie Finster, another one of Tommy’s friends. “Though part of me hopes it was just a dream.”
“I believe you, Eliza.” Said Tommy. “However, we need to think a little bigger. How about cartoon animals from other studios?”
“I could try.” Said Eliza. “Does anyone here who isn’t an animal have any pets?”
“I have a pet pig named Abner”. Said Arnold. “We could go to my house and test your powers on him.”
“Alright.” Said Eliza. “But there’s just one thing that bothers me: You, Helga, Gerald, Dil, and some other characters are 10, Tommy, the Deville twins, and Kimi are 11, and Angelica and Susie are 13, yet me and Tommy’s friend Charles are 12? Shouldn’t I be in my 20s or something?”
“If it makes you feel any better, Miss Thornberry,” Said Dog, walking over with a magazine. “There’s an artist’s depiction of what you would look like as an adult.” He then showed Eliza an illustration from an issue of Nickelodeon Magazine.
“Wow.” She said. “I really take after mom.” Darwin, Eliza’s best friend who was also a chimp, walked over.
“They put Donnie in there, but not Debbie?” He asked. “How come?”
“Beats me.” Said Dog. “This magazine is 15 years old.”
“Shouldn’t you and Arnold be practicing your animal-talking powers?” Asked Tommy. “I still have more people to talk to!”
“Okay.” Said Eliza, as she, Darwin, and Arnold exited the cafe. “Nobody seems to care about me and Darwin anymore.”
“I believe we should be on our way, too.” Said Rocko, and he and Filbert left the cafe, as well. Heffer was about to leave, but felt his tail get stuck: Tommy was holding on to the bovine’s tail.
“Sorry.” Said Tommy. “You have to stay to practice your burping.”
Author's Notes: The Java Lava was a cafe that Tommy and the gang, who were now pre-teens, would hang out in All Grown Up.
Between the events of Rugrats and All Grown Up, Charlotte somehow got fired from her job at MegaCorp. As a result, she knows about all the company's secrets.

Oh Glob, time hasn't been kind to her.

A 2004 issue of Nickelodeon Magazine, one dedicated to All Grown Up, showed artist's interpretations of what characters from The Wild Thornberrys, Rocket Power, and The Fairly OddParents would look like as adults. Eliza and Donnie from The Wild Thornberrys (a personal favorite of mine) were depicted, but not Debbie.

Trescott was not Charlotte's (Angelica's mom) maiden name. It's one that I gave her, named after her talented voice actress Tress MacNeille. MacNeille's many credits include Babs Bunny on Tiny Toon Adventures, Dot Warner, Hello Nurse, and Marita Hippo on Animaniacs, Gadget on Chip n Dale: Rescue Rangers, and Agnes Skinner, Principal Skinner's elderly mother, on The Simpsons. She's also the modern-day voice actress of Daisy Duck, Donald Duck's girlfriend.

In the hilarious Netflix special 'Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling', the only way to save the company Conglom-O is to reboot The Fatheads, Rocko's favorite TV show. This causes Rocko, Heffer, and Filburt to search the globe for the original Fatheads creator, Ralph Bighead.