The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Chapter 12

It has been a week since the Retro Nicktoons Talent Show played in New York. After going on a date with Kimi at the Estela Restaurant in New York City, Tommy started planning the Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Cross-Country Tour, which was scheduled to start in another week. Suddenly, Tommy heard faint knocking on his door. When he opened the door, he saw SpongeBob SquarePants on the welcome mat.
"Can I be in your talent show?" He asked. "I promise to not be as annoying as on my show."
"Sorry, kid." Replied Tommy. "We're not accepting acts from sea creatures."
"But you returned sea monkeys to the sea!" Said SpongeBob. "Please? It's gonna be a tribute to Stephen Hillenburg."
"You can put on your own talent show." Said Tommy.
"But didn't someone who worked on the Rugrats die a couple years ago?" Asked SpongeBob. Tommy then remembered that veteran Rugrats director, Jim Duffy, died in 2012. He also attended Duffy's funeral along with characters from Aaahh!!! Real Monsters and Rocket Power. After his flashback, Tommy decided to allow SpongeBob in the talent show.
"Alright." Said Tommy. "You can sing one song in the show."
"Yay!" Said SpongeBob, and he took off on his unicycle.
------------------------------------
A week later, Tommy and his team of misfit Toons were loading onto a large orange van. Squidward wasn't there because he went back to the New York Aquarium in Brooklyn. Instead, the conductor would be toon composer Drew Neuman. Gerald also didn't return as host, and Tommy would instead hire a live-action celebrity. As well as the show having returning acts, such as CatDog's song, Sokka's jokes, and Helga's poems, there would also be new acts, such as Gir singing the Do Song, Arnold showing off his karate skills, and Gordon Quid (from Catscratch) playing the bagpipes. After Heffer got into the van, they were about to leave, but Tommy told them to wait.
"Don't start the van, yet!" Said Tommy. "We have one more talent on our show."
"Is it Aang?" Asked Sokka.
"Is it Doug Funnie?" Asked Dog.
"Maybe it's Rocko!" Said Heffer.
"Nope." Said Tommy. "He's smaller, but much more popular and successful. He's someone who we originally had a grudge against." As Tommy finished talking, a certain anthropomorphic sea sponge could be seen riding a unicycle.
"I'm ready!" He cheered, though the other characters were disgusted.
"Who invited the piece of cheese who killed off every Nicktoon in the last 20 years?" Asked Helga.
"I did, but he wants to sing a song as a tribute to Stephen Hillenburg." Explained Tommy. "His creator Stephen Hillenburg died back in November from ALS, and it only feels right for him to perform his song in person. Remember when Jim Duffy died?"
"Yeah." Said Dog. "It made me want to howl when Jim died, even though he didn't work on CatDog."
"So, are you willing to let SpongeBob perform on the show?" Asked Tommy.
"Alright." Said the crew in unison.
"He better not annoy the heck out of us." Said Helga.
"I won't." Said SpongeBob, as Jenny extended her arm so SpongeBob could get on, and the door closed. Suddenly, SpongeBob started dehydrating.
"Water!" Screamed SpongeBob. Soon, Arnold ran over and poured water on him.
"Thanks." Said SpongeBob.
"You're welcome." Replied Arnold. "But don't you have to rehearse for your act?"
"Me and my friends have been practicing for three months, now." Said SpongeBob. "They're on another truck to wherever we're going. Anyway, where is our first stop?"
"Manhattan, New York." Said Jimmy, and the van started moving. "We're going to perform in 300 cities within four months, and perform for three nights in each city."
"Four months?!" Said Heffer. "But I'm going to miss the premiere of Static Cling!"
"It's okay, Heffer." Said Tommy. "When the time comes, Tucker Foley could be my gofer."
"WHAT?!" Said Tucker. "But I'm technically older than you."
----------------------------------------------------------
The next day, the Nicktoons Cross-Country Tour had its premiere in Manhattan. After everyone else did their acts, it was SpongeBob's turn, and guest host Jimmy Kimmel was introducing him.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" He said. "He's one of the most popular cartoon characters in the last 20 years, SpongeBob SquarePants! Tonight, he will sing his hit song 'Best Day Ever', available on The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie Original Soundtrack! Accompanying him will be the Bikini Bottom Dancers!" The curtain rose, and it revealed a 30-foot-long fish tank full of cartoon fish. Upbeat music started playing, and the energetic sea sponge started singing.
SpongeBob: Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me!
Patrick Star (dressed as the Sun): Said 'It's gonna be a good one, just wait and see!'
SpongeBob: (Running out of a fake pineapple) Jumped out of bed, and I ran outside, feeling so extra-exactified!
It's the best day ever!
Fish ensemble: The best day ever!

SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!

Fish ensemble: The best day ever!

SpongeBob: I'm so busy, got nothing to do!
Spent the last two hours just tying my shoe! (looks at his shoes, and they were tied together by accident, then throws them off)
Every flower, every grain of sand, is reaching out to shake my hand!

It's the best day ever!

Sea lilies: The best day ever!

SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!

Rock Bottom soil: The best day ever!

SpongeBob: Sometimes, the little things start closing in on me. (Rocks crush him, but SpongeBob pops out from between the cracks)
When I'm feeling down, I want to lose that frown!
I stick my head out the window, and I look around!
Oh, the clouds don't scare me, they can't disguise! (looks at the clouds that look like flowers)
There's magic that's happening right before my eyes! (Patrick buries himself in the sand while a fish dressed up as the Moon starts rising on a fishhook)
Soon, Mr. Moon will be shining bright, so the best day ever can last all night!
SpongeBob and fish ensemble: Yeah, the best day ever's gonna last all night now!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!

Fish ensemble: The best day ever!

SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!

Patrick (popping out of the sand): The best day ever!

SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!

Mr. Krabs (counting money from the concert): The best day ever! (laughs)

SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Fish ensemble: The best day ever!

When SpongeBob finished his song, everyone cheered, despite the fact that his face was everywhere.
"I am so glad that you enjoyed my singing." Said SpongeBob. "This is what Mr. Hillenburg would've wanted." Soon, Tommy walked onto the stage.
"And that's our show!" Said Tommy. "Thank you so much for attending our show, and we'll be here again tomorrow night and the night after that before we continue our tour in Brooklyn! Good night, Manhattan!"
"But didn't you want to pursue your career in filmmaking?" Asked SpongeBob.
"It can wait a little longer." Said Tommy. "I think it's more fun doing a roadshow!"
THE END

Author's Notes: In early episodes of SpongeBob, since the titular character didn't have a driver's license, SpongeBob would get around on his unicycle.

Jim Duffy (1937-2012) was a producer and director on the cartoons Captain Planet and the Planeteers, The Rugrats, Aaahhh!!!! Real Monsters, Rocket Power, and As Told By Ginger. He directed beloved Rugrats episodes such as 'Party Animals', 'Angelica Breaks a Leg', 'Stu Gets a Job', 'Sour Pickles', 'Passover', and 'The Turkey Who Came To Dinner'. He died in 2012 from cancer, though I don't know what kind.

The song SpongeBob sings in this chapter was a song that played in not the SpongeBob episode 'Best Day Ever', but during the end credits of The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. Here's a link to the song below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZE1Fh1AgWQ
Sea lilies, or crinoids, are relatives of the starfish found in the Caribbean Sea, South Pacific Oceans, and even Antarctic waters. Crinoids have been around for over 450 million years, and are a favorite food of sea urchins. The Pokémon Lileep and Cradily are inspired by these strange animals.

Tommy attending Jim Duffy's funeral is inspired by a deleted scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit (presented through storyboards) in which Eddie Valiant notices several toons attending Marvin Acme's funeral. Toons that would've appeared in this scene included Tom and Jerry, Popeye the Sailor, Foghorn Leghorn, Felix the Cat, and Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Drew Neuman is a composer who worked on the cartoons Aaahhh!!!! Real Monsters, The Wild Thornberrys, and The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.

The soil that appears in this chapter is a reference to the SpongeBob episode 'Rock Bottom'. In that episode, after a trip to Glove World, SpongeBob and Patrick get on the wrong bus and end up in Rock Bottom, inspired by the scary deep-sea abyss. SpongeBob said that it looked so different compared to Bikini Bottom, even the soil, which could somehow talk.

Well, that concludes my fanfic 'The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show'! As for what I'll do next, I will review The Jungle Book 1994, Mulan 2020, The Water Horse, and Jim Henson's The Witches within the next three months, so stay tuned!

The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Chapter 11

In the backstage right, Kimi was talking to Helga about being worried about singing in front of a large crowd.
"I don't know if I can do this, Helga." Kimi confessed.
"Of course you can, Kimi!" Said Helga. "If I can read one of my poems in public, then you should be able to express your feelings about Thomas, I mean Tommy. Plus, you have a good singing voice."
"Thanks, Helga." Said Kimi, blushing. "I'm going to go on stage and sing my heart out!" Kimi walked on the stage, and 90s style romantic music started playing. After 36 seconds, Kimi started singing in both English and Japanese. Luckily, English translations appeared on the same screen that showed the animals that Eliza talked to.
(To avoid copyright infringement, here's a link to the song below)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuut-F4Wjzc
After her song ended, everyone cheered, and Tommy ran up to the stage.
"Do you really mean what you said?" He asked. "About you missing me?"
"Yes." Said Kimi blushing. "Ever since the All Grown Up writers wrote a sub-plot about us possibly getting into a relationship, I started developing feelings for you. Do you want to go on a date with me some time this month?"
"That would be great." Said Tommy. Suddenly, two live-action men dressed in black burst through the door.
"Attention, ladies and gentlemen." Said the first man. "Everyone involved in the production of this talent show is under arrest for using licensed characters without their company’s permission, mistreating cartoon characters, singing a song owned by another company, and rebuilding a theater without a permit."
"Who are you?" Asked Tommy.
"I represent DreamWorks Animation." Said the second man.
"And I represent Warner Bros." Said the first man. "May I see everyone who has been involved with the talent show?"
"Okay, everybody." Said Tommy. "Do what the man says." Soon, many Nicktoons characters walked onto the stage, including Sokka, Eliza Thornberry, Arnold Shortman, Helga Pataki, Gerald Johansson, Jimmy Neutron, Carl Wheezer, Heffer Wolfe, Cat and Dog, Randolph Grant, Squidward Tentacles, Mervis, Dunglap, Mr. Sunshine, Chuck and Leon, and XJs 1-9, as well as Spirit and Buttons.
"Where are the overhated Nicktoons characters?" Asked the second man.
"We sent them back to their creators." Replied Tommy. "Does that subtract years of jail time?"
"Sorry, but no." Said the first man. "Each of you will be in either jail or a zoo, depending on your species." Suddenly, Jenny's arm turned into a cannon.
"Not on my watch." Said Jenny, ready to fire a ball of plasma, but nothing came out. "What the?"
"Sorry." Said Jimmy. "I had to deactivate your weapons. Who knows what havoc you would've caused!"
"As for the robots," Said the second man. "Because of their destructive capabilities, we have no choice but to dip them in turpentine acetone benzene. Alright, Thomas. Extend your arms. We are going to cuff you." Just before Tommy was about to be hand-cuffed, Aang flew through the window on his hang-glider and skillfully landed in front of the two live-action men.
"Hold on!" He said. "If you're going to arrest my friends, you're going to have to arrest me, as well! But be warned: If you arrest me, you'll get tons of fans angry. I am the most respected Toon of all time, after all."
"All right, all right." Said the first man. "We'll let you off the hook for now. However, next time you do a talent show, no making fun of hated characters, and only use characters owned by the same company." Aang then handed the men small but valuable diamonds.
"Here's some money for your troubles." Said Aang. "Just in case you filed a lawsuit."
"I'll be taking Buttons, then." Said the first man.
"And I'll be taking Spirit." Said the second man, and they walked off with the horse and dog. As soon as they left, the audience cheered.
"They love us, Cat!" Said Dog. "We're stars!"
"Jimmy!" Said Tommy. "How much money did the talent show make?"
"I'm calculating it right now!" Said Jimmy. "Let's see. An individual ticket costed 30 dollars, and there are 20,000 live-action humans in the audience. So that would equal.... $600,000! However, our goal was 800,000. To sum it all up, we didn't meet our quota."
"We should've had a bigger theater." Said Heffer.
"Hold your horses!" Said Tucker, getting out his cellphone. "The whole show was uploaded live on YouTube! With every thousand views, we earned 5 dollars. Our video attracted 50 million people, so that would make... $250,000! How much does that equal, Jimmy?"
"Simple!" Said Jimmy. "$850,000! That means we did meet our quota!" The audience cheered in delight to see their childhood heroes achieve their dream and goal.
"Can I say something?" Asked Eliza.
"Yes, you may." Said Tommy.
"I'm going to quit show business to pursue a career in conservation." She declared.
"Then go do it." Said Tommy. "I can always look for new talent." Suddenly, his cellphone rang. "Hello? This is Nick? You want to do what?! Okay, I'll tell them. We're going to go on tour, gang!" Once again, both the toons and audience cheered.
Author's Notes: In Who Framed Roger Rabbit, you can't kill a cartoon character. However, Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd) found a way: By mixing turpentine, acetone, and benzene, he created a substance, known as the Dip, that can dissolve cartoon characters.
The ingredients for dip, turpentine, acetone, and benzene, were also used to removed paint from celluloids, which toons would be painted onto.

Movie Review: Stargirl

Movie Review: Stargirl                                                                                                              6-7-20

Leo Borlock (Graham Verchere) is an average student at Mica High School. He gets decent grades, is a member of the school's marching band and has always been content flying under the radar. But all that changes when he meets Stargirl Caraway (Grace VanderWaal), a confident and colorful new student with a penchant for the ukulele, who stands out in a crowd. She is kind, finds magic in the mundane and touches the lives of others with the simplest of gestures. Her eccentricities and infectious personality charm Leo and the student body, and she quickly goes from being ignored and ridiculed to accepted and praised, then back again, sending Leo on a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

As you can guess from the poster, Stargirl is a Disney+ exclusive film, meaning it wasn’t released in theaters. If it were, it would’ve suffered the same fate as Onward: Tank at the box-office because of the Corona Virus.

As for the film itself, I thought Stargirl was okay. It has believable cinematography, strong acting, and life-like sets and backgrounds. Stargirl herself reminds me very much of Dora Marquez in Dora and the Lost City of Gold, as both characters are optimistic, innocent, wear clothes that they may be too old for, and have pets that you normally don’t find as pets (a rat named Cinnamon).

However, this movie is actually about Leo. He’s okay, but he’s kind of one-dimensional. All we know about him is that he has a deceased father and likes to wear ties.

In conclusion, Stargirl is a perfectly fine film, though not one that I recommend. However, I would choose it any day over the mess that was A Wrinkle in Time. I just hope that the next three movies I review, Mulan 2020, The Water Horse, and Jim Henson's The Witches, will be better.

Rating: 3.4 stars out of 5

The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Chapter 10

After Helga walked off the stage, she couldn’t believe that everyone loved her poem.

“I can’t believe they loved my poem!” Said Helga. “If Nick picks this up and turns the talent show into a cross-country tour, I’m going to recite all my poems. Thank you, Arnold!”

“You’re welcome, Helga.” Said Arnold. “When the talent show gets picked up, I’m gonna do martial arts that I haven’t done in over 20 years!” The two of them walked out of the way so Eliza Thornberry could walk onto the stage, while Jenny carried a cage containing the animals, covered with a blanket, onto the stage. Gerald walked onto the stage to introduce the next act.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” He said. “You know how some cartoon animals can talk, while others don’t? Well, here’s your chance to here it, no pun intended, from the horse’s mouth! May I introduce to you animal whisperer, Eliza Thornberry!” The curtain rose, and it revealed Eliza and three animals: Abner from Hey Arnold, Spirit from Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, and Buttons from Animaniacs.

“To prove we’re not pulling any punches,” Gerald continued. “Jimmy Neutron has put up a close-up camera to show that the animals are actually speaking human words in their own languages!” Two large monitors appeared on both sides of the stage. “Miss Thornberry, the stage is all yours.”

“Thank you!” Said Eliza, and Gerald walked off the stage. “Our first animal is Abner, Arnold’s pet pig on Hey Arnold!” She snorted and squealed at the pig, and Abner started talking, though everyone else heard oinking instead.

“It’s a pleasure to be here.” Said Abner, though only Eliza could here. “Hello, everyone. My name is Abner, and I was a pig on Hey Arnold. Since I had the least screen time out of all these chosen animal guests, I’m gonna keep it brief. I did all my stunts on Hey Arnold, as well as the two movies. However, in The Jungle Movie, Arnold didn’t feed me bacon. It was a piece of candied beet.”

“The bacon Abner ate in The Jungle Movie wasn’t bacon!” Eliza translated. “It was a candied beet!” Jimmy rewound the footage of Abner talking, and he was able to decipher what the pig said.

“By Thomas Edison, she’s right!” Said Jimmy, and everyone applauded.

“Next up,” Eliza said. “A dog who would always have to save his human baby, Buttons from Animaniacs.” The audience cheered, and Buttons started speaking.

“It’s a pleasure to be here tonight, Miss Thornberry.” Said Buttons, though everyone heard barking instead. “When I was on Animaniacs, the writers would put me in crazy situations to watch over the troublesome Mindy. One episode would put her in a construction site, another had her in the Amazon Rainforest! And want to know who always ended up getting the blame? Me! If you ask me, they’re ripping off of Roger Rabbit and Baby Herman.”

“He said that the Buttons and Mindy segments on Animaniacs were basically copies of Roger Rabbit and Baby Herman!” Eliza translated. Once again, Jimmy rewound the footage of Buttons talking, and he was able to decipher what the dog said.

“She’s right again!” Said Jimmy and the audience cheered again. “Eliza, bring out the final guest and put your animal talking skills to the test!” As Arnold called Abner and Buttons to walk off the stage, Jimmy focused the camera on Spirit.

“Don’t be shy.” Said Eliza. “We want to hear you talk!”

“Alright, alright.” Said Spirit, though everyone heard neighing instead of talking. “I’m still a bit uncomfortable around humans, even 20 years after Katzenburg started production on my movie, Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. Some of you in the audience may have even seen it when you were kids. When we worked on Spirit, I did all my stunts, except for when I had to do big jumps.”

“That’s interesting, Spirit.” Said Eliza. “What is your honest opinion on the Netflix-exclusive series Spirit: Riding Free?”

“I hate it!” Said the stallion. “The animation looks more suitable for a Disney Junior show and the plots feel like they came out of American Girl! I wish Jeffrey Katzenburg could return to DreamWorks so he could fix the company. Our new CEO Chris Meledandri wants to make sequels and reboots to every film imaginable, despite Katzenburg’s original intentions to make each film have a different art style and to take animation to areas that have yet to be explored. If not, try getting back Brenda Chapman.”

“That’s enough, Spirit!” Said Eliza. “Time to walk off the stage! We have two more performances to put on!” Eliza walked Spirit off the stage, and Sokka walked on.

“Hey, everybody!” He said. “This is the part of the show where I try stand-up comedy. You know, telling jokes! Anybody want to hear some jokes?” The audience roared with cheer.

“Okay!” Sokka began. “What do you get when you cross a Hippo-Cow with a Turtle-Duck? Milk and quackers!” The audience was silent, though some kids in the audience thought it was funny.

“Okay, here’s a good one.” Said Sokka. “Knock, knock!”

“Who’s there?” The audience asked in an annoyed tone.

“Meow.” Answered Sokka.

“Meow who?” Asked the audience.

“Meow-hoo?” Replied Sokka. “Did someone let a Cat-Owl in?” Once again, the audience was silent.

“Tough crowd.” He said. “Here’s one that will knock your socks off! What would happen if you pitted a Air-Bender against a Fire-Bender? I don’t know, but they’d probably get steamed! Get it? Steamed?” After a few seconds, the audience started laughing a little.

“Here’s a better one!” Said Sokka. “There are two Fire-Benders walking into a tea shop. They spot a female Water-Bender, and one Fire-Bender says ‘She looks hot.’ The other one says ‘But she’s a Water-Bender, not a Fire-Bender.’ The first Fire-Bender then says ‘I meant hot as in pretty, not hot as in steaming!’” The audience then laughed harder then before. “Sorry if it sounds different. I had to censor it to make sure it was kid-friendly. Now here’s my final joke: What did one Elbow Leech say to another? You suck!” He audience burst out laughing, and one of them threw flowers.

“Marry me, Sokka!” Said a fan girl.

“Sorry, but I already have a girlfriend.” Said Sokka, and he walked off the stage triumphantly.

Author's Notes: All the animals Sokka mentions in this chapter are real animals found in the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Turtle-Duck

Cat-Owl

Elbow Leech
If any of you reading this remember watching Animaniacs, you might remember the baby and dog duo Buttons and Mindy. These two are similar to Roger Rabbit and Baby Herman, as both sketches would have an animal character watching over a human infant who would get into all kinds of shenanigans, a parental figure whose face was never shown, and the animal character always getting the short end of the stick.

One episode of Hey Arnold actually had the titular character learn martial arts. In the episode 'Mugged', after Arnold got mugged by a bully, he seeks advice from his grandmother to learn karate.

After getting bought by Universal in April 2016, Jeffery Katzenburg left DreamWorks to create a streaming service called Quibi. This mobile-exclusive streaming service will include several new shows such as Most Dangerous Game, Flipped, Run This City, and Chrissy's Court.

The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Chapter 9

Backstage, as Jimmy and Carl walked off the stage, Tommy immediately asked Jimmy if the dunk tanks were ready yet.

“Are the dunk tanks ready yet?” He asked.

“XJ-9!” Jimmy called. “Are the dunk tanks ready yet?”

“For the 50th time,” Answered a blue humanoid robot. “Call me Jenny! And yes, the dunk tanks are ready.” Jenny, along with a larger and more muscular-looking robot, were each carrying two dunk tanks. Afraid of getting herself short-circuited, Jenny sprouted four extra arms to safely carry the tanks over. When she placed them down, Jenny’s extra arms retracted back.

“That’s great!” Said Tommy. “Now we just need to bring them on stage and get out the participants!”

“I’ll bring out the participants!” Said Jenny. “XJ-8 will bring them over. Won’t you, sis?”

“Yes, sister.” Said the larger robot, grabbing the dunk tanks with two separate hands and walking onto the stage. A couple minutes later, Gerald walked onto the stage to introduce the next act.

“Have you ever been channel surfing, saw a show you despised, and thought to yourself ‘I wish I could beat up that character?’” He asked. “Well, here’s your chance! Six unloved Nicktoons characters volunteered to be dunked, and now’s your chance to throw whatever you want at them! If you’ve been following us on social media, you may have been told to bring your own expired food to throw at them! However, if you didn’t bring anything to throw, you can always buy eggs from us for 5 dollars a carton! Without further ado, here are the Nicktoons to be dunked!” The curtain rose, and it revealed four tanks from four unloved shows: Bessie Higgenbottem from The Mighty B, Bunsen from Bunsen is a Beast, Sanjay Patel and Craig the snake from Sanjay & Craig, and Fanboy and Chum-Chum. However, someone from the audience started complaining.

“Aw, no Bread-Losers?” He asked.

“Sorry.” Said Gerald. “We couldn’t seem to find them. I better go now. This could get messy!” Gerald left the stage to avoid getting hit with expired food.

“This can’t be happening!” Said Bessie. “I’d hate to have to do this: Kajolika! Kajolika! Kajolika!” But nothing happened.

“That only happens in the cartoon, Mighty Beanie!” Said someone from the audience, and she threw pickle slices at her.

“At least it’s not zucchini.” Bessie thought to herself.

“What did I ever do to you?" Asked Bunsen.
"Your show was a knockoff of My Gym Partner's a Monkey and Hotel Transylvania!" Said a heckler. "Not to mention that your show looked more like a Canadian import than something from Butch Hartman!"
"Good point." Said Bunsen, and someone threw a tomato at him.

“What did we ever do to you?” Asked Sanjay Patel, with Craig tied to him like rope.

“Your show was a rip-off of Adventure Time and Regular Show!” Said another heckler. “It was nothing but potty humor and gross-out gags!”

“Yeah, well Ren and Stimpy, Rocko’s Modern Life, and CatDog also had potty humor,” Said Craig. “And you treat those shows like gods!”

“Who died and made you king?” Asked the same heckler that threw pickles at Bessie, and she threw food at Sanjay. Luckily, Craig saved Sanjay by unhinging his jaws and swallowed whatever was thrown at him. However, someone threw a shoe at that tank’s lever, and it dropped Sanjay and Craig in the water.

“At least it untied your knot.” Said Sanjay.

“Help!” Shouted Chum-Chum. “We’re trapped like Yamaguchi!”

“Serves you right.” Said the heckler that dunked Bunsen. “If it weren’t for your excuse of a show, Adventure Time may have had the chance to become a Nicktoon! Now Nick is a husk of its former self thanks to you!” He threw a boot at the lever, and FanBoy and Chum-Chum fell into the water. FanBoy tasted the water and made a comment.

“This could use some sugar.” He said. “Hey, anybody! Could you throw a bag of sugar at us, please?” Someone threw a watermelon, instead. As the curtains closed, Heffer (who finally returned from his walk), Jenny, and XJ-8 carried the dunk tanks and took the characters out. Helga was going to go onstage, but she had stage fright.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Football Head.” She said. “They’ll all think it’s dumb!”

“I won’t think it’s dumb.” Said Arnold. “And here’s some confidence to help overcome your stage fright.” He kissed her on the cheek, and Helga sighed with contentment. She shook off the goofy grin and walked on stage.

“And now,” She said. “A poem by me, Helga G Pataki.” She pulled out her heart-shaped notebook and started reading one of her poems. “‘H is for the head I’d like to punt. E is for every time I see the little runt. L is longing for our first kiss. G is for how good that longing is. And A is for Arnold, of course.’ Duh!” The audience laughed and cheered, and Helga bowed for her fans.

Author's Notes: Apologies to those who actually like The Mighty B, FanBoy and Chum-Chum, Sanjay and Craig, and Bunsen is a Beast. I had a shortage of acts to put on. Besides, I don't remember anyone complaining when Eddy on Ed, Edd n Eddy set up a scam involving Ed and Double D getting hit like pinatas.

The poem Helga reads in this chapter was actually a poem she secretly wrote in the Hey Arnold episode 'The Little Pink Book'.
In The Mighty B, Bessie's middle name was Kajolika, and whenever someone said that name, something bad would happen.

Yamaguchi was a parody of the toy line Tamagachi in FanBoy and Chum-Chum, and was a favorite of Yo (no last name given).

The Retro Nicktoons Talent Show Chapter 8

The next day, while Jenny and Jimmy were building the dunk tanks, Tommy decided to call the Nick secretary again.

“Hello?” Asked the secretary.

“Hi, there.” Tommy started. “This is Tommy again. Now that you funded our show, we’d like to ask for a favor: Since television is slowly dying, could we put our show on YouTube, as well?”

“Why, certainly!” Said the secretary. “Besides, with every thousand views, we’ll get 5 bucks!”

“Wow!” Said Tommy. “I’ll tell my friends right away!” After putting down his cellphone, Chuck and Leon entered Tommy’s office. They were carrying a large sack

“We have the characters you wanted!” Said Chuck, dumping the sack’s contents, while Leon locked the door. Out came Bessie Higgenbottom from The Mighty B, Bunsen from Bunsen is a Beast, Sanjay and Craig from Sanjay and Craig, and, surprisingly, Fanboy and Chum-Chum.

“How did you get Fanboy and Chum-Chum?” Asked Tommy.

“We have our ways.” Said Leon. “We didn’t get the ducks because they received more hate than necessary.”

“Not to mention they look like us.” Said Chuck.

“Alright.” Said Tommy. “Though I have to tell Tucker and Dil to change the upcoming social media posts.”

——————————

It was June 10th, 2019. The Pickles Theater premiered the Nicktoons Talent Show, and an astonishing 20,000 people attended. After weeks of rehearsing, it was time to play the music. It was time to light the lights. The Nicktoons characters were finally ready to perform their talent show. Gerald Johansson from Hey Arnold was chosen to host the program.

“Welcome one and all to the Retro Nicktoons Talent Show!” He began. “I am your host, Gerald, Arnold’s best friend on Hey Arnold with Marge Simpson-like hair. This evening, you will get to see your childhood come to life with fresh new acts! First up, the once mutant duo CatDog will perform a song called, Cat Diggity Dog! I hope you enjoy it!” The curtain went up, but Cat and Dog weren’t there. They were in a wing, putting on their vaudeville clothes.

“Now, Dog.” Said Cat. “We’ve been practicing for over a month now, but I just want to remind you: When I say Cat Diggity Dog, you say Cat Diggity Dog.”

“Okay!” Said Dog, and they walked onto the stage while the band played ragtime music.

Dog: Cat Diggity Dog!

Cat: Cat Diggity Dog.

Dog: Dog Diggity Cat!

Cat: Dog Diggity Cat.

Dog (jumping on Cat’s head): He’d want to do this!

Cat: I’d want to do this!

Dog: I’d gotta do that!

Cat: Terrific.

Both: How could it get, how could it get, how could it get any better than this?

Cat (throwing Dog off): I could think of a hundred ways!

Dog: Two and one brothers!

Cat: You mean two and two brothers!

Dog: We never fight.

Cat: We never fight.

Dog: Except when we yell and scream! (Runs off to grab a dunk tank, and comes back a second later)

When we scratch and bite. (Jumps into the tank and makes a big splash, drenching Cat in water)

Cat: How could it get, how could it get, how could it get any wetter than this?

Dog: Could I get you a towel?

Heffer: Here’s a towel! (Drops it on Dog, who then gives it to Cat)

Dog: We’re salt and pepper!

Cat: We’re salt and pepper.

Dog: We’re bacon and eggs!

Cat: Bacon and eggs.

Dog: My legs were his arms!

Cat: His legs were my arms!

Dog: My arms were his legs! (Runs off with the tank and replaces it with a trash can)

I’ve gotta eat trash!

Cat: He has to eat trash.

Dog: He’s gotta eat well!

Cat: And man, am I swell!

Dog (digging through the can): I eat til I’m full!

Cat (holding his nose): And boy, does he smell! Pew!

Dog (kicks the can aside): Hi-ho Diggity!

When day is done...

Cat: It’s almost done, folks!

Dog: And our two heads

Are better than one!

Both: It just doesn't get, it just doesn't get, it just doesn't get any better than this!

When the duo finished singing, the crowd cheered with delight. Tommy was looking from the backstage right, and he was happy with the results.

“I knew people still cared about us.” He said, as Cat and Dog walked off the stage. Jimmy Neutron then told Tommy some news.

“Tommy, I have bad news.” He said. “Dog jumping into the tank delayed the next act. However, while it’s refilling, I could demonstrate some of my inventions! And I even brought someone to test my inventions on. Carl!” Carl Wheezer, Jimmy’s allergic and gluttonous best friend, then walked over with a plate of pasta.

“Hey, Jimmy!” Said Carl. “You should try this spaghetti that Phil made! It’s gluten-free!”

“I think I’ll pass.” Said Jimmy. “Anyway, I need your assistance with my inventions. Do you suppose you could help me? I promise that it won’t result in any catastrophes!”

“Okay, Jimmy.” Said Carl, and the two of them walked on stage while the tank was being refilled by Jenny/XJ-9.

“Good evening, everyone!” Jimmy greeted. “Our next act, the dunk tank, has been delayed, so up next, I’m going to showcase five of my inventions on Jimmy’s World of Science!” Jimmy then got out a green and blue cube, opened it, and poured its contents out. These were all Jimmy’s inventions throughout his show’s run. He held up a small package and started talking.

“This is Book Gum.” He said, pulling a piece out, which looked like a tiny book. “Pop this in your mouth, and you’ll be able to memorize an entire novel for two hours!”

“Can I try one, Jimmy?” Asked Carl, grabbing a piece. “Tastes peachy. Oh no! Mom, dad! Run away from that rhino!!!” Jimmy slapped Carl’s back, making him spit out the gum.

“Next is the Girl-Eating Plant!” Said Jimmy, showing a plant reminiscent of a Venus flytrap. “This carnivorous plant will only eat female insects. Let me demonstrate.” He grabbed a box of crickets, scooped some out, and showed them to the plant. The plant swatted away the male crickets and gobbled up the females.

“Unfortunately,” Jimmy continued. “The Girl-Eating Plant is incapable of producing seeds. And for those conservationists out there, I trained this plant not to eat bees or butterflies!” Jimmy then placed the plant in the green and blue cube and moved on to his next invention. “Next is the Cheese Ray. Want to reduce world hunger? Well, aim the Cheese Ray at an object, and it will turn whatever it hits into cheese! Just make sure you’re not lactose intolerant.” Jimmy aimed the cheese ray at a leather chair, pressed a button, and it turned into cheese.

“Oh, boy!” Said Carl, running toward the cheese chair, ripping off a piece, and shoving it into his mouth.

“Carl!” Said Jimmy. “Put that back! I’m gonna turn the chair back to normal!” Carl pulled the cheese out of his mouth and placed it on the cheese chair. Jimmy pressed the button on the cheese ray again, and the chair turned back into leather.

“Next up,” Jimmy continued. “Is the Hypno-beam!” He held up a yellow and green device with a red swirl. “With this device, you can make people and animals obey your every whim! May I have a volunteer from the audience?” Heffer then ran on stage, happy to volunteer.

“I want to be hypnotized!” Said the steer. “I don’t care how embarrassing it would be!”

“Come on, Jimmy.” Said Carl. “It will be funny.”

“I don’t see why not.” Said Jimmy, aiming the Hypno-beam at Heffer. “You will go on a crash diet until you weigh 200 pounds!” Heffer then had red swirls in his eyes, and he started to speak.

“I will go on a crash diet until I weigh 200 pounds.” Heffer said in a monotone voice. “I will now take a jog around the block. See you in an hour!” Heffer then ran out of the Pickles theater to jog around the block.

“Shouldn’t we un-hypnotize him, Jimmy?” Asked Carl.

“I could always turn the Hypno-beam off...” Replied Jimmy. “In another hour!” He and Carl then gave out a laugh.

“There goes my go-for.” Said Tommy in the backstage right.

“I still have one more invention, folks!” Said Jimmy, holding the green and blue cube. “Want to know how I got all my inventions here in the first place? The Hyper Cube! This device can store up to 10,000 objects, including human beings!” Jimmy opened up the Hyper Cube and placed each invention back inside one by one, and they vanished into thin air, when in reality, they were inside the cube. Jimmy blew a whistle, and his robot dog Goddard appeared. A robotic arm popped out of his back, grabbed Carl, and shoved him inside the cube.

“Jimmy?” Carl asked from inside the cube. “Will this plant eat me?”

“Of course not, Carl!” Answered Jimmy. “They wouldn’t call it a girl-eating plant if it preyed on males!”

“Okay, then.” Said Carl. “But what is this cube made of?”

“Aluminum alloy.” Answered Jimmy.

“Aluminum?” Asked Carl. “I’m allergic to aluminum! Achoo!” Goddard pulled out the robotic arm and pulled Carl out of the box, but Carl was covered in mucus.

“XJ-4!” Called Jimmy, and a lavender four-armed robot appeared and sprayed soap and water on Carl, and dried him up with a sponge mop. XJ-4 then left the stage, and the audience laughed and cheered for the boy genius and his allergy-prone friend.

Author's Notes: The song Cat and Dog sing in this chapter was an actual song sung on CatDog, and it's almost the same as written here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnCYfcF19fI
All five inventions talked about in this chapter were all real inventions featured on Jimmy Neutron (both the TV show and the movie).
Book Gum
Girl-Eating Plant
Cheese Ray
Hypno-Beam
Hyper Cube
Carl saying that the gum tastes peachy and telling his parents to run away from a rhino is a reference to Roald Dahl's James and the Giant Peach.