Next up are the Bug-Type beetles, Rellor and Rabsca. Rellor is pure Bug, while Rabsca is
Bug/Psychic like Orbeetle. Because Rellor rolls up mud like a dung beetle, I distributed this Pokémon to Africa.
Next up are the Psychic-Type ostriches Flittle and Espathra. Flittle is nothing more than a Berry
thief, while Espathra is a force to be reckoned with: It has psychic powers that rival Alakazam, a
vicious temperament, and the ability to run up to 120 miles per hour. I distributed both these
Pokémon to Africa, where real ostriches live.
Next are Tinkatink, Tinkatuff, and Tinkaton. All three of these Pokémon are Steel-Fairy like Klefki
and Mawile, and all of them carry a heavy hammer that they use as their weapon. For some reason,
I decided to distribute the Tinkatink line to Germany.
As well as Diglett and Dugtrio returning to Paldea, there are also two new lookalikes that prefer
to live in the sea: Wiglett and Wugtrio. While Diglett and Dugtrio share traits similar to moles and
prairie dogs, these Pokémon are closer to garden eels, fish that bury themselves in the sand and
pop out to see if the coast is clear.
Anyway, I distributed Wiglett and Wugtrio to Indo-Pacific Oceans.
Next up is Bombirdier, a Dark/Flying-Type stork that likes to drop items on people. I distributed
these devious Pokémon to Poland, which has a big stork population.
After 20+ years of waiting, there’s finally a dolphin Pokémon, though Lapras is pretty close.
Anyway, these two are Finizen and Palafin. Palafin looks the same as Finizen, but it has a
superhero alter ego in the same vein as Aqua Man. Anyway, I distributed these two Pokémon
to oceans all over the world.
These two automobiles are Varoom and Revavroom. Both these Pokémon are Steel/Poison,
making them a big threat to Fairy-Type Pokémon. I made these Pokémon domesticated, though
they originally came from the US.
Cyclizar is what happens when you cross a dinosaur with a motorcycle. This Pokémon is
Normal/Dragon like Drampa, and is best described as a terrestrial equivalent of Lapras. I
distributed Cyclizar to North Africa, as I believe it would adapt well to the Sahara Desert.
Another animal that fans have been wanting to be made into a Pokémon is the earthworm,
which is now a reality with Orthworm. This Steel-Type invertebrate has the Ability Earth Eater,
making it immune to Ground-Type attacks. I distributed this Pokémon all over the world, where
it lives underground and loosens up soil.
Next up are Glimmet and Glimmora, which both have the unique Typing of Rock/Poison.
Similar to Sudowoodo, they look like plants, but are actually mineral-based. I distributed
Glimmet and Glimmora to caves all over the world, but be careful, as they are very toxic.
The final dogs in the trio are Greavard and Hounstone. Both Pokemon are pure Ghost, and
in the same fashion as Mimikyu, they just want to be cuddled. Greavard and Hounstone are
domesticated, but they originally came from Europe.
Next up is Flamigo, a Flying/Fighting-Type flamingo that often dance and attack together
in flocks. Just like real flamingos, Flamigo live in Africa, Florida, and South America.
After many years, there’s finally another whale Pokémon other than Wailmer and Wailord: Cetoddle
and Cetitan. While Wailord excels in the water, Cetitan excels on land. I distributed these guys
to the North Pole, where their only threats are Beartic and humans.
Another Pokémon to get an evolution is Bisharp, which now evolves into Kingambit after
defeating another Bisharp leading a pack of Pawniard. According to legend, only a Bisharp
that stands above the rest can evolve into Kingambit. Just like its pre-evolved forms, Kingambit
is domesticated, but originally came from Japan.
Next up is Veluza, a Water/Psychic-Type carnivorous fish that hunts down prey by shedding its
own flesh. Apparently, the discarded flesh is edible to humans. I distributed this Pokémon to
Spanish oceans, as they love to eat hake, which Veluza is based on.
These two are Dondozo and Tatsugiri, two Pokemon that rely on each other for survival.
Dondozo is a massive catfish (39 feet long!), while Tatsugiri is a measly piece of sushi. Even
though it’s big enough to swallow most Starter Pokemon, Dondozo isn’t that smart, so it teams
up with Tatsugiri (which lives inside Dondozo’s mouth) to catch prey. It would be no surprise
that these Pokemon would be distributed to Japan, though I’d scale down Dondozo to about
three feet.
The next batch of Pokémon are all Paradox Pokemon, species that come from either the
past or the future. First up is Great Tusk, a prehistoric relative of Donphan. This is the
first-ever Ground/Fighting-Type Pokemon, and shares traits to Deinotherium, a prehistoric
elephant-like creature that predates the mammoths.
Like Deinotherium, Great Tusk lived in Africa about 3 million years ago.
Next up is Scream Tail, a prehistoric relative of Jigglypuff. This Pokemon was Psychic/Fairy
like Mr. Mime and Gardevoir, and apparently lived on Earth one billion years ago. Because
this would make Scream Tail older than the first fish, as well as a good amount of
Psychic/Fairy-Type Pokémon already out there, I decided to ban this Pokémon.
Next up is Brute Bonnet, a prehistoric relative of Amoonguss. This Pokémon is Grass/Dark,
and has been described in a magazine as a cross between a mushroom and a dinosaur. I made
Brute Bonnet extinct, in which it lived in the US during the Jurassic Period.
Next up is Flutter Mane, an ancient relative of Misdreavus. This Pokémon is Ghost/Fairy like
Mimikyu, and is believed to be the ghost of a pterosaur. Because of this, I decided to distribute
Flutter Mane to the US, which is also where I distributed Aerodactl.
Next up is Slither Wing, a prehistoric relative of Volcarona. According to the magazine
‘Occulture’, Slither Wing may have been revived from a fossil from the times of Tyrantrum,
but there’s no evidence. I made Slither Wing extinct, where it lived in Germany during the
Permian Period.
Next up is Sandy Shocks, a prehistoric relative of Magneton. This Pokémon is Electric/Ground
like Stunfisk, and apparently predates Magnemite by 10,000 years. I distributed Sandy Shocks
to India, where the first magnets were built.
The last of the Past-Paradox Pokemon is Roaring Moon, a prehistoric relative of Salamence.
This Pokemon is Dragon/Dark like Hydreigon, and is said to have connections to Mega
Evolutions. I decided to distribute this magnificent beast to North America, where it lived during
the Cretaceas Period.
The previous seven Paradox Pokémon were from the past. The next seven are all from the future
with metal aesthetics, but only one of them is part Steel. The first is Iron Treads, a futuristic relative
of Donphan. This Pokémon is Ground/Steel, and just like Donphan, can roll into a ball like an
armadillo. I made Iron Treads man-made, in which it was made by governments around the world
to trek deserts and defuse explosive weapons.
Next up is Iron Bundle, a futuristic relative of Delibird. This Pokémon is Ice/Water, and some
believe it was built by a long-lost civilization. I imagine, however, that Iron Bundle was created
20 years ago by major Internet shopping companies, like eBay and Amazon, to deliver purchased
gifts to the customers in-person.
Next up is Iron Hands, a futuristic relative of Hariyama. This Pokémon is Fighting/Electric, and
is rumored to be modified from a certain athlete. I imagine, however, that it was built so it can be a
good combatant for Pokémon battles that specialize only in Fighting-Type Pokémon, in a similar
fashion to wrestling and boxing.
Next is Iron Jugulis, a futuristic relative of Hydreigon. This Pokémon is Dark/Flying, and is
said to be even more aggressive than Hydreigon, if that’s even possible. Because of this, I
decided to ban Iron Jugulis.
Next up is Iron Moth, a futuristic relative of Volcarona. This Pokémon is Fire/Poison, and is
said to attack people for no reason. Because of this, as well as Fire/Poison being a bad Type
combo, I decided to ban Iron Moth.
Next up is Iron Thorns, a futuristic relative of Tyranitar. This Pokémon is Rock/Electric, and
even though it’s rather strong, Iron Thorns actually has a calm demeanor. I imagine that this
Pokémon was also man-made, but was originally built for theme parks for people to gawk at.
The last of the Paradox Pokémon is Iron Valiant, a futuristic relative of Gardevoir and Gallade.
This Pokémon has the exciting new Type combo of Fairy/Fighting, and is apparently a robot
made by a mad scientist. He wanted to make the strongest Psychic-Type Pokémon ever, even
surpassing Mewtwo, but it ended up being Fighting/Fairy instead. Like the other future Paradox
Pokemon, Iron Valiant is man-made, and was designed to be a perfect martial arts fighter for wars.
Next up are Figibax, Aribax, and Baxcalibur. All three of these Pokémon are Ice/Dragon like
Kyurem, and are able to convert heat into ice energy. Unfortunately, because these Pokémon
have dinosaur-like qualities, I made them extinct, where they lived in Spain during the Early Cretaceous
Period.
The final two Pokémon before the Legendaries are Gimmeghoul and Gholdengo. Gimmeghoul
is pure Ghost, while Gholdengo is Ghost/Steel. Whatever you do, don’t try to steal Gimmeghoul’s
coin, or else it will suck your life-force. After being given 999 coins scattered across Paldea,
Gimmeghoul will evolve into Gholdengo, which is much nicer. I distributed these Pokémon to
New Zealand, where they bury their treasure and hide it from treasure hunters.
The first of the new Legendaries is Wo-Chien, who’s part of a quartet of Dark-Type Pokémon
known as the ‘Treasures of Ruin’. Wo-Chien is Dark/Grass, and wherever it goes, plant life dies.
Because of this, I decided to ban this gastropod.
Next up is Chien-Pao, a Dark/Ice-Type snow leopard that can control up to 100 tons of fallen
snow. According to legend, this Pokémon is a reincarnation of those who were slain by a sword.
I distributed Chien-Pao to Mt. Everest, as I feel it would fit that habitat.
Next up is Ting-Lu, a powerful Dark/Ground-Type ungulate. So powerful, in fact, that it can
make the ground open up in front of it. Because of this, I decided to ban Ting-Lu.
The final member of the Treasures of Ruin is Chi-Yu, a Dark/Fire-Type fish. Apparently,
this Pokemon loves to swim in lava pools that burn over 5,400 degrees. Because of this,
I distributed Chi-Yu to Krakatoa, where it can swim as freely as it pleases.
And last, but not least, are the mascot Legendaries Koraidon and Miraidon. Koraidon is red
and Dragon/Fighting, while Miraidon is purple and Electric/Dragon. Koraidon is from the past, while
Miraidon is from the future. Anyway, these two Pokémon (depending on the version) will help you
on your journey by serving as vehicles. As usual, I banned these Pokémon because I feel that they’d
cause destruction of catastrophic proportions if caught in the wrong hands.
Well, that wraps up Pokémon Around the World: Paldea Edition! On December 10th, I will review
one of the most anticipated animated movies of the year, Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio.
