Jake: And now, let’s see what’s in the kitchen with…. (grabs a piece of paper) Gordon Coonsy.
(cuts to the kitchen, where Gordon Coonsy has a garbage can next to the counter)
Gordon: Hello, everyone! Today, I will teach you how to cook garbage. First, you take a can full of garbage and dump it on the counter! (dumps garbage on the counter) Then, you pick which ones you like the best. Make sure to not pick any metal, since metal DOES NOT go in the microwave! Let’s see, I’ll take banana peels, rotten seafood, a peanut butter candy bar, and a dead pet lizard. Now, you take the desired garbage pieces, put it on the frying pan, and cook it at 350 degrees. (grabs the frying pan and cooks the garbage) Now, we wait ten minutes for the garbage to cook, and you’ll be eating garbage in no time!
(cuts back to Stinky and Jake)
Jake: And now, from the bottom of the ocean…
Stinky: Ocean.
Jake: Please welcome Sally the Squid!
(FanFair plays, but no one appears)
Stinky: Where’s Sally?
Sally: I’m in the back in this tank! (Stinky and Jake walk over to see Sally)
Jake: So you must be the squid who’s supposed to be on our show.
Sally: Yes, I am.
Stinky: Are all squids as big as you?
Sally: Not necessarily. Some are as small as a pencil, such as this Caribbean reef squid.
Jake: Weren’t there stories about giant squids sinking ships?
Sally: Of course not! That’s a story made by humans. They’re afraid of a lot of things they don’t understand. However, we may attack humans by wrapping our tentacles around them. We also squirt ink when threatened.
Jake: That’s something octopi do!
Sally: We squids are, in fact, related to octopuses! We belong to a group of mollusks called cephalopods.
Stinky: How come I never see you at aquariums?
Sally: Well, some of us squid, like me, are just too big to fit in a tank. Also, some of us get captured by humans to make us into sushi.
Stinky: Don’t say that word! Cubs, calves, chicks, and tadpoles are watching.
Sally: Sorry. Anyway, can I sing a song for you guys?
Jake: Sure. And now, here’s Sally singing ‘One Big Ocean'.
Sally: I think it's terrific
To know the Atlantic and Pacific
The names of the Indian and the Arctic
And the Southern too!
But I'm here to say I see them another way!
I just see one big ocean!
It's all connected
One big ocean, it needs to be respected
And I want to tell you we got to protect it
Our one big ocean!
Gotta do our best with this world we are sharing
And it's good to know that so many are caring
Because what they're doing up there
Matters right here in our one big ocean!
It's all connected
One big ocean, it needs to be respected
And I want to tell you we got to protect it
Keep it growing and giving
Colorful and living, our one big ocean!
Bunnie: And now it’s time for the Animal Awards! Today, the award for the Biggest Invertebrate! Could it be… The spider crab?
Armstrong: The giant squid…
Bunnie: The Lion’s Mane jellyfish…
Armstrong: Or the Atlas beetle?
Bunnie: And the winner is.. The giant squid! With a staggering size of up to 40 feet long, these squids are big enough to strangle a whale!
Armstrong: Congratulations, Sally.
Bunnie: Back to you, Stinky and Jake!
Jake: And now, it’s time for a story. “Once upon a time, there were four different beetles: A rhinoceros beetle, a jewel beetle, a lily beetle, and a violin beetle. ‘Let’s have a race.’ Declared the lily beetle. ‘Whoever races around the tree the quickest within two minutes will be rewarded with a flat brown rock with a human head on it.’ So, the beetles flew around the tree, and it seems that the lily beetle was gonna win. ‘I’m gonna win, I’m gonna win!’ Bragged the lily beetle, only for him to fly into a leaf. It was now the rhino beetle who was in the lead, and little did he know that he’d end up winning the race. ‘I can’t believe I won!’ He said. And so, Raymond, the rhino beetle in question, was given the flat brown rock, and he lived happily ever after. The End.”
Stinky: That was a good story, Jake. Do you think we could hold a beetle race on our show some time?
Jake: Stinky!
(cut to Armstrong and Bunnie in front of the habitat door)
Bunnie: Okay, Armstrong. It’s Habitat Time! Today, we’re going to the bottom of the ocean!
Armstrong: The ocean?! But there’s no air down there! And I don’t know how to swim!
Bunnie: Don’t worry, Armstrong! (pulls out two helmets) I got helmets that will help us travel underwater. (plops a helmet on Armstrong)
Armstrong: One small step for birds, one giant swoop for bird-kind.
Bunnie (putting on her own helmet): Let’s go on a trip under the sea! (opens the door, and they end up in the Ocean Depths)
More humans have covered the surface of Mars than they have with the ocean depths!
Armstrong: Talk about that.
That looks like Larry from the Fish episode.
Bunnie: You’re right, Armstrong! Larry is an anglerfish, and these fish use the lures on their heads to attract fish with its bright light, and then it eats them!
Armstrong: Help! We’re being invaded by aliens!
Bunnie: That’s not an alien, Armstrong. That’s a swimming sea cucumber. Normally, sea cucumbers live on ocean floors, but these guys prefer to swim.
Armstrong: What is that, a snake?
Bunnie: No, you silly! That’s a moray eel. While other fish have pectoral fins, these guys have none.
Armstrong: That looks like Sally.
Bunnie: Good observation, Armstrong. That’s a black-eyed squid, and it’s eating an owlfish.
Armstrong: Are there such things as hawkfish?
Bunnie: There are, in fact, such things as hawkfish, though they live in higher ocean depths.
Armstrong: Hey, someone’s been dumping trash in the ocean!
Bunnie: That’s not trash, Armstrong. That’s a balloon jellyfish, but you’re right. Humans need to be careful of what they dump in the ocean. Sea turtles love to eat jellyfish, but if they’re not careful, they’ll choke on a plastic bag and die!
Armstrong: With all this talk of water and trash, I really wish we were back home.
(Bunnie and Armstrong leave the Ocean Depths, head back to the Animal Show studio, and take off their helmets)
Bunnie: For Habitat Time, it’s Bunnie Bear-
Armstrong: And Armstrong the chickenhawk.
Bunnie: Just back from the Ocean Depths.
(Tizzy flies around Stinky and Jake again)
Tizzy: Quiz time!
Jake: And what’s the quiz this time?
Tizzy: Well, here it is! (cuts to the screen below)
Is this an octopus or a squid? Give it a think. Back in a buzz!
(Cuts to Stinky and Jake trying to answer the question)
Stinky: It’s gotta be a squid, Jake. Just look at the shape of its head!
Jake: I don’t think so, Stinky. Squids have ten tentacles, octopuses have eight.
Tizzy: Well, here’s the answer. Is this an octopus or a squid? The answer is neither: This is a cuttlefish, which is a relative of both cephalopods. Bee-lieve it, because it’s true!
Jake: Thanks for the quiz, Tizzy! That's all the time we have for today, and until next time, keep seeing… (Gordon Coonsy arrives with his cooked garbage)
Gordon: It’s ready! Who wants cooked garbage?
Jake: No thank you. I eat fish.
Stinky: I’ll try it. (takes a bite out of an egg) It smells horrible, but tastes delicious!
Jake: Anyway, until next time, keep seeing the world through the eyes of animals. Bye!
Author's Notes: Gordon Coonsy is named after famous chef Gordon Ramsey.
Larry the Anglerfish appeared in a Season 3 episode 'Fish', in which he taught Stinky and Jake everything he knows about fish.
Even though you won't find a balloon jellyfish on Google, it does have a scientific Latin name: Deepstaria reticulum.
Yves' French translates to 'polar bear friend'.
The puppet used for Sally was previously used on various Muppet projects, such as the Dennis Quaid episode of Muppets Tonight.
The song Sally sings was actually previously used on another Henson project, Splash and Bubbles, which is best described as what would happen if SpongeBob was aimed at the preschool demographic. Here's a link to the song, One Big Ocean, below.
Splash and Bubbles | One Big Ocean Sing Along - YouTube
The caterpillar footage is courtesy of PBS.
Bunnie is right: There is, in fact, such thing as a hawkfish. These guys live in the Western Pacific Ocean, and can sometimes be found in aquariums.
Next week, you'll learn about how some animals have weird ways of reproducing when the guests are a seahorse and a platypus!
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