The Animal Show- Cassowary and Rhino Part 2

 Jake: And now, let’s see what’s cooking in the kitchen with Yves St. La Roche.

(cuts to Yves in his kitchen)

Yves: Bonjour, bonjour little animals out there! Today, we’ll make a Veggie Burger for our next guest, a rhinoceros. Veggie Burgers are like regular burgers, but the patties are made of vegetables instead of meat. First, we need two buns. (goes to the cupboard and gets two burger buns) Now, we need the veggie patty. (runs over to the refrigerator to get a veggie patty) Now, we need cheese (slaps on cheese), onions (slaps on onions), lettuce (slaps on lettuce), tomato (slaps on a tomato slice), and condiments (squirts ketchup and mustard). And voila! You have a Veggie Burger! For those omnivorous animals out there, slide in a slice of bacon or two, if you like.

(cuts back to Stinky and Jake)

Jake: And now, all the way from Africa and Asia…

Stinky: Asia.

Jake: Please welcome Lupita the Rhinoceros!

Lupita: Jambo, Stinky and Jake. It’s a pleasure to be here.

Stinky: I know what Jambo means- That’s ‘hello’ in Swahili!

Jake: You know, we had a rhino on the show before with Harry. Do you know him?

Lupita: No, but I do know these rhinos.

Rhinos live in Africa and Asia, but humans have been hunting us down so they can grab our horns! And want to know what our horns are made of?

Stinky: What?

Lupita: Keratin, the same material that makes up claws, toenails, and hair! Humans might as well be cutting off their own toenails if they really want to go through that much trouble. Even though we’re not that smart, we rhinos make up for it with our keen sense of smell and brute strength. We could bust through a car door with one of our mighty charges!

Jake: Wow, that’s incredible! (Yves soon arrives with a Veggie Burger)

Yves: Sorry for the delay, but here’s a Veggie Burger! (gives Lupita a Veggie Burger, to which she happily eats) Gotta get back to the kitchen! (runs back to the kitchen)

Stinky: What’s with your mouth?

Jake: Stinky!

Lupita: Oh, that! That’s my prehensile upper lip.

We black rhinos use it to grab twigs, draw them into our mouths, and chew them up.

Jake: We still have time for a song. Do you suppose you could sing for us?

Lupita: I’d love to. Here’s a song dedicated to all endangered animals out there.

There was a time when life was free

I used to smile so easily

But the time has come, where I just don’t see a reason

And the moon is melting out of the sky

Dripping into the water so blue

We understand the and moon and I

Because blue is a feeling, too!

There was a time when live was grand

Who could have known what life had planned?

As the world goes along, more and more I see

There just isn’t any more of me

Bunnie: And now it’s time for the Animal Awards! Today, the Award for Biggest Herbivore. Could it be… the rhino?

Armstrong: The elephant?

Bunnie: The manatee?

Armstrong: Or the hippo?

Bunnie: And the winner is, the African elephant, which can reach up to 16 feet long and weigh nearly 8 tons!

Armstrong: Sorry for the loss, Lupita.

(cuts back to Stinky and Jake)

Jake: And now, it’s time for a story. It’s an old favorite with Gnorman the Gnu.

Stinky: I know what a gnu is- It’s another word for wildebeest!

Jake: Anyway, “Once upon a time, there was a baby wildebeest. Now, wildebeest is called a gnu. And this baby gnu was a g-new gnu. A very g-new gnu. ‘Oh, what a g-nice g-new gnu,’ His mother said. ‘I shall call him Gnorman.’ That was a g-nice g-name. Now, g-next to Gnorman was a g-nother gnu, and a g-nother, and a g-nother. They were Gnorman’s g-neighbors. They were g-new gnus, too. But not as g-new as Gnorman. They could walk. ‘Ooh, that’s g-nifty.’ Said Gnorman. And before he g-knew it, Gnorman was dancing around. ‘This is g-neat.’ He cried. He twitched his g-nose, he swung his g-neck, g-knocked his g-knees and made lots of g-noise. G-nobody really noticed, but Gnorman didn’t care. He was a g-nimble gnu and proud of it, g-naturally. The End.”

Stinky: That was a good story, Jake.

(cut to Armstrong and Bunnie in front of the habitat door)

Bunnie: Okay, Armstrong. It’s Habitat Time! Today, we’re going to Java, an island in Southeast Asia.

Armstrong: And how come here and not, say, Brazil?

Bunnie: If we’re lucky, we might see a Javan rhinoceros! (opens the door) C’mon, time’s wasting!

This is Java, an island in Indonesia. There are at least 185 animal species native to Java, and humans are adding more each day!

Armstrong: That’s impressive, but where are the animals?

Bunnie: Here’s one- It’s a long-tailed macaque. Macaques are monkeys found all over Asia, and the long-tailed macaque is one of them. Nitiru from an older episode was actually a macaque.

Armstrong: I thought he was a snow monkey.

Bunnie: Snow monkeys are also called Japanese macaques.

Armstrong: Help! A snake!

Bunnie: Armstrong, pipe down! This is a white-lipped tree viper. These snakes are poisonous, but they won’t bother you if you don’t bother them.

Armstrong: Now you’re talking my language- A bird!

Bunnie: Not just any bird: A Javan hawkeagle, which is Endangered.

Armstrong: So, is it a hawk or an eagle?

Bunnie: It’s an eagle.

Bunnie: This is an Asian water monitor. They may not look like it, but monitor lizards are great swimmers!

Armstrong: Talk about that.

And that just is not a frog, but a toad!

Bunnie: Correct, Armstrong! This is a bleeding toad, which is very rare.

Armstrong: How come?

Bunnie: Humans aren’t sure, but some believe that it’s because of a fungus.

Armstrong: Fungus? Like mushrooms? I’m allergic to mushrooms! Let’s get out of here!

(Bunnie and Armstrong leave Java and head back to the Animal Show studio)

Bunnie: For Habitat Time, it’s Bunnie Bear-

Armstrong: And Armstrong the chickenhawk.

Bunnie: Just back from Java.

(Tizzy flies around Stinky and Jake again)

Tizzy: Tizzy here! Time for a quiz! (cuts to the screen below)

What is the skin on a deer’s antlers called? Give it a think? Back in a buzz!

(cut back to Stinky and Jake, who are having a hard time finding the answer)

Stinky: What does this have to do with rhinos and cassowaries?

Jake: Well, Stinky, they may not look like it, but deer can be dangerous as well.

Tizzy: Maybe you should hear the question again. (flies back to the previous screen) What is the skin on a deer’s antlers called? It’s called velvet. Bee-lieve it, because it’s true!

Jake: Thanks for the quiz, Tizzy. That's all the time we have today, and until next time, keep seeing the world through the eyes of animals. Bye!

Author’s Notes: The cassowaries from this episodes’ Baby Talk is taken from this YouTube video.

Cassowary Chick at Blank Park Zoo - YouTube

Lupita the Rhinoceros is named after actress Lupita Myongo. Her puppet, on the other hand, is the same one used for Harry from the Animal Show Episode 'Gorilla and Rhino'.

Her song, 'There Was a Time', was taken for the Muppet special Song of the Cloud Forest, which told the story of a golden toad named Milton who learns that he's the last of his kind.

The story of Gnorman the Gnu was previously told in the Animal Show episode 'Wildebeest and Turtle'.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukNfbGt_MZM&list=PLifn29u_lcafo7MqUFGnitW79pbWqDb6q&index=15&pp=iAQB

In the next episode, you'll learn about birds when the guest stars are an osprey and a peacock!

The Animal Show- Cassowary and Rhino Part 1

 Stinky and Jake: Here on the Animal Show.

Here on the Animal Show.

Here on the Animal Show!

Bunnie Bear: From under the ocean, over the clouds, and around the world…

Armstrong the Chickenhawk: Here comes the wild side of wild life.

Bunnie: The Animal Show!

Armstrong: And now, let’s have a wild welcome for your furry friends-

Bunnie: Stinky and Jake!

Stinky and Jake: Now it’s The Animal Show!

Jake: Hello, all you animals out there!

Stinky: I’m Stinky.

Jake: And I’m Jake. And today, we are going to meet a cassowary and a rhino. Both animals are herbivores who are, in fact, deadly.

Stinky: What’s a cassowary?

Jake: It’s a flightless bird from Australia, similar to the ostrich.

Stinky: Then, why don’t they call it an Australian ostrich.

Jake: Well, they look rather different from ostriches.

Armstrong: And now, here’s another edition of…

Bunnie: That’s amazing! Today, we look at the hippopotamus!

Armstrong: What’s so great about a hippo?

Bunnie: Just look!

Even though they weigh 4,000 pounds, these heavyweight horse relatives are fast on land AND in the water! They can’t swim, but they are capable of running underwater!

Armstrong: Now that’s something that will make you say…

Stinky and Jake: That’s amazing!

Jake: And now, all the way from Australia…

Stinky: Australia.

Jake: Please welcome Kimberly the Cassowary!

Kimberly: Hil, Stinky. Hi, Jake.

Stinky: Hi, Kimberly. How are you considered dangerous if you eat plants?

Kimberly: Well, take a look!

We have kicks that can actually kill a human! We also attack dingos, kangaroos, and even cows and horses.

Stinky: Have you ever attacked a skunk before?

Kimberly: No, since there are no skunks in Australia.

Stinky: What do you eat?

Kimberly: Take a look!

Here’s a cassowary eating a banana. However, we may also eat flowers, fungi, snails, insects, frogs, birds, fish, rats, and mice.

Jake: I’ve been told that cassowary dads are really caring, despite your wicked behavior.

Kimberly: Yes, they are! Here’s my husband Kenny sitting on our eggs.

Cassowaries watch over eggs for about 50 days. Once the babies hatch, the dads raise the chicks for nine months.

Stinky: Hey, if you’re a bird, where are your wings?

Kimberly: We have none, since we don’t fly. Flying is overrated, anyway. As well as having viscous kicks, we cassowaries are also great runners. We can run as quickly as 31 miles per hour!

Stinky: Watch out for that car!

Jake: Even though you can’t fly, you’re still an amazing bird!

Kimberly: Thank you, Stinky. I have to get going now. I want to see how Kenny and the kids are doing. (walks off)

Jake: And now, here are more cassowaries with…

Jake and Stinky: Baby talk!

Cassowary chick: Hi, everyone! This doesn’t look like Australia.

Daddy cassowary: This isn’t Australia. It’s the Blank Park Zoo in Des Moines, Iowa.

Cassowary: How come we’re in here and not in the wild?

Daddy cassowary: Because we are endangered, son. Come on, have lunch.

Um, that berry belongs to me.

Cassowary chick: But it’s mine! Mine, mine, mine!

Daddy cassowary: Okay, you can have it. I’ll eat something else.

Man, this will be a long nine months.

Tizzy the Bee: Hi, everyone! Time for a quiz! (cuts to the screen below)

Which of these animals is most likely to attack a human? The hippo, the sloth, the koala, or the toucan? Give it a think. Back in a buzz!

(Tizzy flies back to Stinky and Jake, and this time, Jake actually knows the answer)

Jake: I know what the answer is- the hippopotamus!

Tizzy: You’re actually right! (flies back to the previous screen) The hippo is the most dangerous of them all, but all of them could attack a human, despite being herbivores! Bee-lieve it, because it’s true!

Hippos are very territorial, and are known to kill up to 500 humans a year! Those jaws don’t lie.

Larger toucans, such as the toco toucan and the keel-billed toucan, should not be kept as pets- They are known to get very aggressive during mating season, and they’ve even been reported to eat smaller birds, such as finches and canaries!

Koalas are very friendly and won’t give other animals not much. They are, however, known to bite humans, but those attacks are rare. Other than that, they prefer to rest in trees!

Even though they’re famous for being slow, sloths are, in fact, quick attackers. Those claws don’t lie. Bee-lieve it, because it’s true!

The Great Toon War: Remastered Chapter 18

A week has passed since the wall was torn down, and both the Classic CN characters and the modern CN characters decided to mix and mingle with each other. At the Lakewood Plaza, Dexter was studying Dendy.

“Let’s see.” Said the boy. “Green complexion, a turtle-like anatomy, and a small crater with a circumference of 7 inches. You must be some kind of undiscovered chelonian!”

“Actually, I’m a kappa.” Dendy replied. “A mythical creature from Japanese folklore that is often mistaken for drowning people who get too close to water. In actuality, we’re a placid species.”

“Are you viviparous or oviparous?” Dexter asked.

“I beg your pardon?” Asked Dendy.

“Do kappas get pregnant or lay eggs?” Dexter clarified.

“Sorry, but I’m not at liberty to say.” Said Dendy.

—-------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, at Fish Stew Pizza, Johnny Bravo walked into the restaurant to flirt with Jenny, who was rolling pizza dough.

“Say, toots.” Said Johnny. “How about we chew on a breadstick together and see what happens next?”

“How about you taste this pepper?” Replied Jenny, giving Johnny a slice of a ghost pepper.

“Thanks.” He replied, taking a bite out of the pepper. He soon realized that it was very hot, so he ran out of the restaurant and jumped into the harbor to put out the burning sensation in his mouth.

—----------------------------------------------------------------

At the local candy store, Billy and KO were trying out candy grass.

"Peebles told me that I could try candy grass after the war is over." KO told Billy. "Ready to taste it?"

"Am I ever?" Asked Billy, right before he gobbled it up. "Not good as mom's cookies, but still good. How does it taste, OK?"

"It's KO." Said the 6-to-11-year-old boy as he took a bite out of the grass. He immediately spat it out in disgust. "Yuck! Maybe mixing sugar and vegetables is a bad idea."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

In another section, Lake, Tulip Olson’s missing reflection who’s trying to figure out her own identity, has been talking to Gwen Tennyson. She was pregnant with Kevin Levin’s baby, and Lake decided to ask about the baby.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” The reflection asked.

“It’s a girl.” She said. “We’re gonna name her Maxine, after my grandfather.”

“Is that why you didn’t participate in the Great Toon War?” Asked Lake. “I’ve been told that you have mad karate skills and psychic powers.”

“First of all,” Gwen started. “I also know savate, taekwondo, and jujitsu. Second, it’s not psychic powers, it's magic. I just hope Maxine ends up being a normal kid. I’m due in five months.”

“Peebles has medicine that can take away powers from most people.” Said Lake. “Maybe she could give you some so Maxine will end up being normal. It can’t be today because she’s holding a funeral for that Finn boy.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, at nighttime in the Ooo section of CN City, thousands of denizens and citizens showed up at Finn's funeral. It was presented by Bonnibel Bubblegum. Jake, Marceline, Ice King, LSP, BMO, and Phoebe already gave their speeches, and Bonnibel was ready to give hers.

"We have gathered here today because Finn, who was a great friend of many, died during the Great Toon War." She began. "He was one of the most amazing people I've ever met. He has rescued many princesses, fought many monsters, explored multiple dungeons, and was willing to help others with their problems! We will forever be grateful. Wildberry Princess, could you get some flowers ready when we bury Finn?"

"Okay, Princess Bubblegum." Wildberry Princess replied with a squeaky voice. Soon, Jake arrived with Finn in his bulldozer-shaped hands. He placed Finn on the ground, dug a hole for Finn to fit in, and placed Finn inside the hole.

"Now, Wildberry Princess!" Said Bonnibel. The berry princess threw flowers into Finn's grave. Marceline felt it was right to sing the song 'Best Friends In The World'. During the song, a celestial owl appeared in the sky and screeched like a falcon.

"The Cosmic Owl." Said Viola, one of Jake's children.

"We'll miss you, Finn." Said Charlie, another one of Jake's children.

"What are you gonna do now, dad?" Asked Jake Jr, yet another one of Jake's children.

"Maybe someone from that Creek show will be my new buddy.” Replied the older dog.

—--------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Jake went all the way to the Herkleston section. This was a challenge since Craig of the Creek was more grounded in reality, meaning Jake couldn’t use his stretchy powers, walk on his hindlegs or even talk. It took a while, but he made it to the Creek section of Herkleston. Kit was in the trading tree, giving Marie a small box of Sensible Oats in exchange for 10 marbles. Bobby was walking with his bag of candy as usual, only to trip on a rock.

“My candy!” He said, getting up to collect his candy. “Hey, you’re that dog who participated in that war so intense that our parents couldn’t let us watch!”

“Unless you’re Mark, Barry, or David.” Said Kit.

“Or a witch.” Said JP, holding a Choco Roll. “Say, you’re Jake the Dog! Barry talks about you alot.”

“He does?” Asked Jake. Oops.

“I better get Craig.” Said JP as he ran off to find Craig.

“Look, guys!” Said Bobby. “This dog can talk!” A whole mob of kids started clamoring over Jake, making him shrink to the size of a mouse.

“Shrinking?” Asked Wren, grabbing Jake with a pair of tongs. “The possibilities of a shrink and growth ray are scientifically impossible, though the marine iguana actually shrinks when sustenance is low.” Everyone was confused by Wren. “That’s another word for food.”

“He’s from that popular cartoon show!” Said JP, who managed to find Craig. He just got out of the sewers and found a 25-year-old Slide the Ferret action figure.

“That looks like Jake the Dog from Adventure Time.” Said Craig. “Though it’s probably just a toy.”

“A toy?!” Shouted Kelsey. “Craig Williams, this is the discovery of a lifetime! Would a real toy do this?” She dropped her sword, grabbed Jake, and stretched him to look like a dachshund.

“Hey, watch it!” Said Jake, using his powers to grow back to his normal size. “I still have a skeleton, you know.”

“What are you doing here?” Asked Craig. “You should be in Ooo with Finn.”

“I can’t.” Said Jake. “Finn died.” All the other kids just gasped with both surprise and horror.

“What happened?” Asked Bobby.

“He got hit with a sword from Samurai Jack.” Jake explained. “Not a foam sword like your friend has, but a real sword. Never play with weapons!”

“But Steven Universe was on your side!” Said Kelsey. “He could’ve used his healing saliva to bring Finn back to life. He could’ve been like Lars in the episode ‘Lars' Head’ and had magic powers just like Lion!”

“We discussed it,” Said Jake. “But we can’t play Glob. Peebles regretted it badly. Anyway, I’m here so I can have an emotional support human.”

“Sorry, but I’m taken.” Said Kelsey, and Mortimer popped out of her hair.

“Gu might get in a fight with you.” Said JP. “She’s my cat, by the way.”

“Even though I’m dedicated to saving animals,” Said Wildernessa. “Other dogs are not on my agenda. Besides, I already have Cheesesticks.”

“You’re a magic dog, aren’t you?” Asked Craig. “Maybe you could shrink yourself to the size of Mortimer and live with me!”

“That sounds like a great idea!” Said Jake. “As long as there are no episodes that focus on your bedroom.”

—---------------------------------------------------

Back in the real world, Bill and Jim finished doing each other’s homework and watched the episode on HBO Max.

“Did we just see a crossover between Adventure Time and Craig of the Creek?” Asked Bill.

“I’ve seen stranger crossovers.” Said Jim. “Remember The Grim Adventures of the Kids Next Door, or Steven Universe’s Say Uncle?”

“I remember Say Uncle.” Said Bill. “But what was the other one?”

“The Grim Adventures of the Kids Next Door.” Said Jim. “It was a crossover between The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Codename: Kids Next Door. Just ignore it, since the plot is nonsensical and the character designs clash with one another.”

“What should we do now that The Great Toon War is over?” Bill asked Jim.

“I don’t know about you,” Said Jim. “But tomorrow, I’m gonna ask my parents if they worked in the animation industry.”

THE END

Author's Notes: Dendy was KO's best friend on OK KO: Let's Be Heroes, who's best described as Dexter on Dexter's Laboratory as a turtle-like creature, except nicer.

Kiki is one of many human characters on Steven Universe, who works at her family's restaurant Fish Stew Pizza.

In later episodes of Ben 10, Ben's cousin Gwen Tennyson falls in love with ex-rival Kevin Levin. It would only make sense that the two would get married and possibly have a kid later on.

The Cosmic Owl flying over the Ooo section of CN City is a nod to how a rainbow mysteriously appeared over Pixar after the announcement of co-founder Steve Jobs's death.

In the Craig of the Creek episode 'The Curse', the mischievous teens Tabitha and Courtney put a 'curse' on Craig and his friends. When Craig's favorite cereal is all out, his older stick-in-the-mud brother Bernard suggested Sensible Oats.

Well, that completes The Great Toon War: Remastered! On May 24th or so, I will review Disney's latest live-action remake, Lilo and Stitch! I also have an announcement regarding Pixar's 40th anniversary on Facebook.