Saturday, April 23, 2022

Movie Review: The Bad Guys

Movie Review: The Bad Guys                                                                                                       4-23-22

In a world where anthropomorphic animals live alongside human beings, there are five of the most skilled and notorious criminals in Los Angelas: Mr. Wolf (Sam Rockwell), Mr. Snake (Marc Maron), Mr. Shark (Craig Robinson), Mr. Piranha (Anthony Ramos), and Ms. Tarantula (Awkwafina). One day, however, they got caught trying to steal the coveted Dolphin Award. Once they’re arrested, Mr. Wolf suggests to his fellow bad guys that if they pretend to be good guys, they could steal the Award for real. With the help of Guinea pig scientist Dr. Rupert Marmalade (Richard Ayoade), the Bad Guys try to be good, but Mr. Wolf soon realizes the difference between being good and acting out a rouse.
The Bad Guys poses a challenge for DreamWorks: Can they make a good movie without Jeffrey Katzenburg that isn’t a sequel? Turns out that they can! The Bad Guys is another jewel in DreamWorks’s crown with a unique animation style that challenges the medium, a story that both makes fun of and pays homage to heist films (similar to how Shrek made fun of fairytales and how Megamind made fun of superheroes), and engaging characters that rest on the same shelf as Shrek, Moses, Po, Hiccup, and George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
Mr. Shark stealing the Mona Lisa disguised as the Mona Lisa.
Another thing I appreciate is how colorful the film is, despite the fact that the books that it’s based upon are black-and-white. I also like how they changed Mr. Tarantula into a girl, who was originally a boy in the books.
Mr. Tarantula as he appears in the books.
In conclusion, The Bad Guys is the best film DreamWorks has put out since Captain Underpants, which was also adapted from a series of children’s books. I even think it’s better than Turning Red, though it’s just my opinion.
If any of you kids at home want to read the books that inspired the movie, go ahead! However, the books have a gritty art style reminiscent of Rick & Morty and a sense of humor and writing style similar to Dav Pilkey. Also, in the same fashion as Kung Fu Panda and Zootopia, animals take the place of humans in the books.
Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Finding Bailey Chapter 8

Not too soon later, Hank and Dory followed Kannaq to the beach, where a mighty falcon was waiting.

“So this is what Nebraska feels like.” Said Dory.

“You mean Alaska.” Said Kannaq. “Your beluga told us about you two, and how you traveled all the way from Australia to return him to Alaska. That was very brave of you, but also very dangerous. My friend Qimmiq the seal told Nuka the falcon about you while you were sleeping, and he will carry you as far as California, and you’ll have to travel the rest yourself. Is that okay?”

“Oh, sure!” Said Hank. “But does this bird eat fish and octopi?”

“Not really.” Answered Kannaq. “He usually eats mice and smaller birds.” Soon enough, the trio saw Bailey, Qimmiq, and Nuka at the beach.

“Bye, Barely. I mean, Bailey.” Said Dory. “I’ll never forget you!”

“And in case you do,” Bailey joked. “Hank can help you remember!”

“Okay!” Said Dory. “Where’s Luca? I’m ready to go home!”

“It’s Nuka.” Said the falcon. “And I prefer to be called Nukilik. It means strong in Inuit. Get in the bucket, octopus.”

“Alright.” Said Hank, placing himself in the bucket. “But I’ve never flown before.” Nukilik carried the bucket with Dory and Hank inside and flew off to Alaska.

-------------------------------------------------------

Three days have passed, and while the Tank gang, who have finally returned to the wild, were having a blast in the reef, Marlin was starting to get worried.

“It’s been nearly a week!” He said. “What could’ve happened to Dory? What if she ended up at a restaurant?!”

“Dad, calm down.” Said Nemo. “This is Dory we’re talking about. From what I heard, she’s capable of doing anything. Outwitting sharks, battling jellyfish, speaking to whales, and even driving a truck, whatever that is.”

“I know that.” Said Marlin. “But losing Dory would be like….losing your mother.” Nemo just floated there silently and looked at the Tank Gang interacting with other fish. Tad, Sheldon, and Pearl were playing volleyball with Bloat, much to his dismay, Bubbles was amazed at bubbles coming out of a sponge, Jaques was cleaning the teeth of a potato cod, Gil was talking to Destiny, who finally stopped eating other fish, and Deb was trying to find Flo.

“She’ll come back, Marlin.” Charlie assured Marlin. As if on cue, Dory and Hank arrived from the dropoff.

“Did anyone miss us?” Hank asked.

“DORY!” Everyone shouted, and they all crowded the regal tang.

“So, you’re the friend of Shark-Bait.” Said Gil.

“Shark-Bait?” Dory asked.

“Oh, that was my nickname from when I was in Sydney.” Explained Nemo.

“I’m so happy that everyone is safe and sound.” Said Marlin. “Please don’t leave the reef ever again.”

“I won’t.” Said Dory. “Because if there’s one thing that I will always remember, it’s my friends and family. You, Harpo, my parents, Frank, Density, and Mr. Ray.” She then pointed at Mr. Ray’s students. Not to mention you, you, you, you, and you.”

“Don’t forget Flo!” Said Deb. As if on cue, a mirror sank to the bottom of the ocean. “Oh, there you are, Flo!” Everyone laughed as Deb reunited with ‘Flo’.

THE END

Author’s Notes: The ending of this story with a falcon carrying Dory and Hank back to Australia in a bucket is inspired by the children’s book ‘Little Polar Bear’ by Hans de Beer. In this story, a polar bear cub named Lars washes up on a tropical island and meets a hippo named Henry. At first, Lars is amazed at his new surroundings, but soon misses his home in the North Pole. The next day, Henry tells his friend Marcus the eagle about Lars, and Marcus arranges a trip back home for Lars on the back of an orca named Samson. Samson brings Lars home back to his loving father, but Lars will never forget his adventure in the jungle.

Before I finish the story, I'd like to show a picture of a potato cod.

Monday, April 18, 2022

Finding Bailey Chapter 7

It was late in the night, and Bailey had finally arrived in Alaska. Glacier Bay National Park, to be exact. There was a harbor seal lying on the shore.

“Excuse me!” Said Bailey. “Is this Alaska?”

“Yes it is!” Replied the seal. “My name is Qimmiq. That’s Inuit for dog, as many people think seals and sea lions act and sound like dogs. What do you need help with?”

“My friends are sick!” He said, showing Hank and Dory on his neck, who were unconscious. “I need to bring them home to Australia! Do you suppose you could find a way to cure them and return them home?”

“This isn’t good.” Said Qimmiq. “They need to get indoors quick. My friend Kanaaq the fox knows a cabin that can warm up your friends. I’ll go get her.” Qimmiq started to bark, and continued to do so until a red fox walked over to him.

“What was that for?” She asked. It was Kanaaq. “I was this close to catching a marmot!”

“This is more important!” Said Qimmiq. “This beluga traveled all the way from Australia, and his friends need to find a warm place soon, or else they’ll die!”

“Wait, hold up!” Said Kanaaq. “What was a beluga doing in Australia?!”

“Dory, the one here,” Bailey explained. “Helped me escape from California to Australia, and she wanted to return me to Alaska so I could be in my right habitat. Please? Nobody’s that heartless.”

“Okay.” Said Kanaaq, knocking over a bucket of fishing bait left on the beach. She filled it up with water and brought it in front of Bailey. “Throw your friends into this bucket. I’ll bring the bucket inside the cabin, where they will warm up by the fireplace.”

“But how will you get in?” Asked Bailey, throwing Dory and Hank into the bucket.

“I’ll go in through the doggy door.” Replied Kanaaq. “The park ranger is asleep right now, and I’ll sneak in through the doggy door. He has a loyal husky that sleeps with him at night in his bedroom. Your friends will regain consciousness by the morning, and I’ll stay inside until morning. Qimmiq, you tell Nuka about our plan for tomorrow.” Kanaaq grabbed the bucket, ran over to the cabin, snuck in, and placed the bucket by the fireplace, but there was no fire. Luckily, she knew humans well enough to start a fire. She grabbed a match from the nearby table with her mouth, stroke it against the brick wall, which lit it on fire, and threw it in the fireplace.

“Good.” She said. “Now I just need to stay here until morning.” She curled herself into a ball and fell asleep.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Hank and Dory woke up in a crammed bucket.

“Ahh!” Dory shouted, with Hank’s tentacles in front of her eyes. “I can't see!”

“Those are my tentacles!” Said Hank, pulling himself out of the bucket, but was shocked to see a fox sleeping. It was Kanaaq, who woke up to tell Hank everything.

“Please don’t scream.” She told Hank. “You’ll wake up the ranger.” Hank then started shivering.

“Why is it so cold?” He asked.

“You’re in Alaska, Eight Legs.” Answered Kanaaq. “The name’s Kanaaq, and if you want to go back to Australia, you have to follow my lead. And you have to bring your friend along in the bucket.” Kanaaq and Hank slowly walked out of the cabin, and as soon as they escaped, the park ranger woke up to smell fire.

“What’s that smell?” He asked. “Smells like fire. FIRE?!” He ran out of bed, woke up his husky, and ran over to the fireplace. “How on Earth did the fire get started? Did it start by itself? Better put this out.” He walked over to the sink, grabbed a pitcher, filled it with water, walked over to the fireplace, and put the fire out.

Sunday, April 17, 2022

Finding Bailey Chapter 6

The next morning, Dory, Hank, and Bailey woke up and continued their journey. They were now 30 miles away from Alaska, but Hank felt they were lost.

“I think we’re lost.” He said.

“Maybe we should check the compass!” Said Dory.

“What use?” Asked Hank. “It’ll only point North!”

“Hey, guys!” Said Bailey. “Maybe I could use my echolocation to find Alaska! Ooooooohhhh! I see something, but it’s not an island. I think it’s a fish! Maybe he could help us!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Said Hank. “What if it’s a predator? It’s a known fact that whales swallow dolphins by accident.”

“Well, I know how to speak whale!” Claimed Dory. “Whoooooo’s theeeeeere?” The ‘fish’ then started shrieking. “Wait, I know that! That’s orca-ish! That’s an orca!” Hank then put a tentacle on Dory’s mouth.

“Want to know another name for orca?” Hank asked. “Killer whale. That means it could kill us!”

“What is it with men and asking for directions?” Dory asked herself. “You have to trust me. That’s what friends do.” Hank then remembered when they drove the truck off the cliff.

“Alright.” Said Hank. “But don’t come crying to me when it tries grinding you up with it’s teeth.”

“Here goes.” Said Dory, who started speaking whale. “Weeeeee neeeeeed to goooooo to Alaskaaaaaa! Dooooo yoooooou knooooooow any directioooooons?” The orca then swam closer to the trio.

“Thaaaaaat’s the riiiiiiight waaaaaaay!” Dory continued. “See, I told you he wouldn’t eat us.”

“I’ll give you one minute before I say ‘I told you so’.” Said Hank.

“Coooooome clooooseeeeer!” Said Dory, and the orca appeared right behind her and Hank.

“Dory! Hank!” Shouted Bailey. “Look out!” And the orca opened its mouth and swallowed the fish and octopus whole. Hank managed to escape by squeezing himself out of the orca’s blowhole, but Dory was still trapped.

“It’s okay, guys!” Said Dory. “I can find a way out. I can speak whale.”

“I’m not gonna lose my friend to some monochrome dolphin!” Shouted Bailey, whose nasal accent finally subsided. “Get my friend out of your gut!” He then started ramming into the orca, who retaliated by biting his face, leaving large bite marks. Bailey then headed for the back and smacked the orca with his tail, making it spit Dory out. Hank then swam to the orca’s face and squirted ink at him, making him swim off.

“Did it get colder, or is it just me?” Asked Dory.

“Come to think of it,” Hank started. “I’m getting cold, too. We must be getting closer.”

“You guys don’t look so good.” Said Bailey. “Perhaps I was better off at the Marine Life Institute.”

“No, Barney.” Dory said weakly. “You’re almost home.”

“No!” Said Bailey. “I don’t want you to die! I’ll carry you in my mouth, if I have to!”

“No more mouths!” Said Hank, grabbing Dory with his tentacles. “I’ll just wrap myself around your neck like a scarf.” Hank then wrapped himself around Bailey’s neck, letting go of the compass in the process. “Don’t worry about us. Just continue heading North. Use your echolocation.”

“Alright!” Said Bailey, placing his pectoral fins on his head. “Ooooooooh! I see something! That must be Alaska!”

“Go.” Hank said weakly. “Your destiny awaits.” Bailey swam as fast as he could to the Glacier Park wildlife reserve.

———————————

Back at the sunken ship, Destiny was with CAG. She was on Step 5 of her recovery process: Bring a fish friend. She decided to bring Nemo, who’s been in Mr. Ray’s school for more than a year, but hasn’t seen a single shark. Marlin was hesitant at first, but after learning that Destiny was trained to eat krill instead of other fish, he reluctantly let Destiny take Nemo to the sharks, since Marlin knew them personally.

“This is amazing, Destiny!” Nemo told the whale shark. “I’ve never seen a shark before! Is this the same one my dad fought?”

“I don’t know.” She replied. “Your dad never told me.” Destiny and Nemo then swam to the back of the ship, and they spotted Bruce, Anchor, Chum, and Murray.

“Destiny!” Said Bruce. “You remembered! All right, everyone! Today is Step 5, bring a fish friend. Everyone got their friends?”

“Got mine.” Said Anchor, lifting his right pectoral fin to reveal a plump blue cross-eyed fish. “He can’t talk, so I’m going to call him Gubbles.”

“Got mine.” Said Chum, turning to his side to reveal a remora attached. “And I didn’t eat her this time! Her name is Erica.”

“Got mine.” Said Murray, with a greenback horse mackerel next to him. “His name is Eben.”

“And I’ve got mine.” Said Bruce, lifting his right pectoral fin to reveal a cardinalfish. “His name is Kevin. Now it’s your turn, Destiny!”

“Got mine!” Said Destiny, showing off Nemo. “His name is Nemo, and his father knows you and Dory!”

“Really?!” Anchor asked with excitement. “You’re the one who was captured by humans and taken halfway across the ocean?”

“Yep.” Nemo replied stoically.

“It’s great to know that a father still has his son.” Bruce sobbed. “I never knew my father!” Nemo noticed that all the other fish, except for Erica, were rather nervous.

“How come you’re not scared?” He asked the remora.

“I’m a remora, also known as a suckerfish.” Replied Erica. “I’m not scared of sharks because my kind lives with them. We remoras stick ourselves to the likes of sharks, stingrays, turtles, and even whales, and eat parasites that are harmful to our hosts. I used to live on a leatherback sea turtle far away from here, but Chum here found me, and he’s my new host!”

“And I’m proud of it!” Said Chum.

“So you won’t eat us?” Asked Kevin.

“Of course, not!” Said Bruce. “Fish are friends, not food!”

“Then what do you eat?” Asked Eben.

“I eat seaweed.” Replied Anchor.

“Murray and I eat clams.” Replied Chum. “He helps open the shells.”

“And I like to eat seagulls.” Replied Bruce. “You think dolphins are annoying? Try listening to a seagull! All they say is ‘Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!’ It drives me nuts! That’s why seagulls are better food than friends.”

“And I eat krill!” Replied Destiny. She then looked at Gubbles. “What’s wrong with Gubbles?”

“He has special needs.” Answered Anchor.

“So, Nemo.” Said Bruce. “You say you were taken halfway across the ocean and ended up with humans?”

“That’s right.” Replied the clownfish.

“Tell us the story!” Demanded Chum. “I love stories.”

Okay.” Nemo began. “Dad says that it all started before I was hatched. My mom and over 400 brothers and sisters were....Eaten by a barracuda.”

“No!” Shouted Anchor.

“That’s right.” Said Nemo. “When I hatched, I had a bad fin, see?” He wiggled his ‘lucky fin’. “Dad told me that the ocean wasn’t safe, so we never ventured beyond the reef. On my first day at school, my classmates urged me to touch something called a ‘butt’. I hesitated at first, but after getting in a fight with dad, I touched it myself, but got caught by this large creature called a dentist!” The other fish just looked at Nemo in awe as he told his story.

Author's Notes: A remora is a peculiar fish: It latches itself onto larger fish, like sharks and stingrays, and eats parasites that would harm the host. This strange yet intriguing fish would serve as inspiration for the Pokémon Remoraid.
Nurse shark with remoras attending
I had to do lots of research to figure out what Bruce, Anchor, and Chum would eat instead of fish, and I actually found out that some hammerhead sharks actually eat seaweed.
Gubbles in this chapter is actually another Pixar Easter Egg. The fish that Luca Paguro herds in Luca are blue, plump, and cross-eyed.
The name Gubbles, however, came from Mickey's pet goldfish in Mickey Mouse 2013, which I secretly nickname 'MickeyBob MousePants', as the show shares some strong similarities to SpongeBob. So much like SpongeBob, in fact, that Mickey has been changed into a happy-go-lucky character with a cheerful disposition.
Eben the greenback horse mackerel, a fish that looks something like this...
Is named after Pixar's lifetime technical supervisor Eben Ostby, who's been working at Pixar since the beginning.
The cardinalfish is a fish that lives in the Indian, Pacific, and Atlantic Oceans, and evolved alongside the first whales, ungulates, and primates. These fish are nocturnal, and some species even keep the eggs in their mouths for safe-keeping.

Saturday, April 16, 2022

Finding Bailey Chapter 5

After six months, Gil, Deb, Bloat, Bubbles, and Jacques have finally escaped the Marine Life Institute. Peach and Gurgle, however, decided to stay in the aquarium: Gurgle stayed in the Open Ocean tank, while Peach stayed in the Journey to the Deep exhibit. She couldn’t stand being in the touch pool being poked by kids constantly. When the five remaining fish and shrimp escaped by flushing themselves down the drain, they found themselves in a kelp forest.

“I can’t believe we finally escaped!” Said Bloat.

“Don’t count your seagulls until they hatch, Bloat.” Said Gil. “We have to find a way back to the Great Barrier Reef. But how?” Suddenly, a cross-eyed sea lion with grey skin and a unibrow scooped up the fish with his bucket. It was Gerald, who was trying to refill his collection. He swam towards Fluke and Rudder to show them his catch.

“What have you got there, Gerald?” Asked Rudder, and Gerald showed him the fish and shrimp he caught.

“Gerald!” Said Fluke. “Those aren’t treasures, those are fish! Dump it!” Gerald emptied the bucket and poured out Gil, Bloat, Deb, Bubbles, and Jacques.

“Sacrebleu!” Said Jacques. “Sea lions!”

“Don’t get so scared, Jaques.” Said Bloat. “I’m supposed to eat you in the wild.”

“What do we have here?” Asked Rudder.

“I’m Gil.” Said the Moorish idol. “And this is Jaques, Bloat, Deb, and Bubbles.”

“Don’t forget Flo!” Said Deb. “Speaking of which, where is she?”

“The name’s Fluke.” Said Fluke.

“And I’m Rudder.” Said Rudder. “What brings you here?”

“We come all the way from Sydney, Australia.” Said Gil. “And we want to find a way back to the Great Barrier Reef, where we belong.”

“You come from Australia?” Asked Fluke. “No way! We just met a little blue fish from Australia, and she’s going to Alaska! We don’t know the way to Australia, but we do know one thing: If you want to go to Australia, keep swimming west until you end up in an underwater dump.”

“There are crabs that live in garbage!” Said Rudder. “Once you find them, you’ll find a current back to the Land Down Under.”

“Great!” Said Gil. “Gang, we’re going west!”

———————————

It was now nighttime, and Dory, Hank, and Bailey were almost near their next destination: Graham Island. They were greeted by a school of Chinook salmon and a Rougheye rockfish.

“Welcome to Graham Island,” Said a rockfish. “The largest island in the Haida Gwaii archipelago! What are you three doing here?”

“We’re going to Nebraska, I mean Alaska!” Said Dory.

“Yeah.” Said Bailey, who was losing his nasal accent. “I’m heading home to Glacier Bay National Park!” The rockfish then looked at Dory and Hank.

“Aren’t you two a little tropical to live around these parts?” The rockfish asked.

“We’re from the Great Barrier Reef.” Said Hank. “We’ve been swimming for four hours straight! Do you suppose we could sleep here for the night?”

“Of course!” Said a salmon. “However, you have to be careful. This is a popular fishing spot. Humans love to fish for us, but they aren’t aware that bears and eagles rely on us for food.”

“But aren’t you aware that you’ll get eaten?” Asked Hank.

“Yes, but it’s our destiny.” Said the salmon. “I’ll spare you the lecture and find you a good place to sleep.”

—————————————

A few minutes later, Bailey slept near a rocky shore away from humans, while Dory and Hank slept on a blanket of kelp. Before they went to sleep, Dory wanted to ask Hank a question.

“Hank,” She started. “I know I shouldn’t ask this, but how did you lose your tentacle?”

“It was three years ago.” Hank began. “I was hatched in the Pacific Ocean, 300 meters below the Channel Islands, had over 50,000 brothers and sisters. I loved swimming in the ocean without a care in the world, until I got captured by humans. Wanted to make sushi out of my tentacles. They managed to chop off one of my tentacles, but I gave them the slip and ran off. After that, I realized how dangerous it is for a fish, crustacean, and mollusk, so I went to the Marine Life Institute to hitch a truck to an aquarium in Cleveland, Ohio.”

“Is that why you were rude to me?” Dory asked.

“Yes.” Said Hank. “But after that, I decided to live with you, but only because that singing stingray asked me to.”

“You can swim off to Cleveland after we return Bailey, if you want.” Dory suggested.

“No.” Said Hank. “My place is with you, Marlin, Nemo, Destiny, and the rest of the gang back at the Reef.” He then wrapped a tentacle around Dory.

“Good night, Hank.” She said.

“Good night, Dory.” Said the octopus.

———————————————————

Meanwhile, the Tank Gang made it to the underwater dump. Bubbles saw a bubble leak out from under a soda can, and he tried to pop it, but he got pinched by a hermit crab, who was living within the can.

“Bubbles!” Said Gil. “Stay focused! We need to ask one of these crabs where the EAC would be.”

“Why would anyone want to live around here?” Asked Bloat. “It’s a dump!”

“Hey!” Said a hermit crab, popping out from underneath a mug and making Bloat puff up. “This may be a dump, but it’s all we have! Humans have been dropping garbage here for decades! It’s not our fault that a snail shell is hard to come by, nowadays.” Bloat deflated after hearing the crab.

“Sorry.” Said Gil. “My friends have never been outside a fish tank before. The name’s Gil.”

“The name’s Claude.” Said the hermit crab. “What brings you here?”

“We need to find the East Australian Current.” Said Gil.

“The EAC?” Replied Claude. “Just keep swimming until you see it!”

“That’s all?” Asked Bloat.

“Piece of kelp.” Said Claude. “Nice seeing you!”

“Thanks!” Said Bubbles, and the quintet of fish swam out of the junkyard to find the EAC.

Author's Notes: In a post-credits scene in Finding Dory, the Tank Gang has finally escaped from Sydney Harbor, albeit still in bags, but end up in the Marine Life Institute.
In real life, pufferfish are actually supposed to eat shrimp. If you plan on making a fish tank based on Finding Nemo, do not place a shrimp and a pufferfish together.
The Rougheye rockfish is a fish that can be found in the North Pacific ocean, and can live up to 205 years!
And before we move on, this is what Chinook salmon look like.

Friday, April 15, 2022

Finding Bailey Chapter 4

Back at the Great Barrier Reef, Destiny went back to the sunken ship to visit Bruce and his gang of sharks and an eel. She had already found an alternative food source: algae and krill. Today was Step 4: Avoid the smell of blood. Destiny was behind the ship with Bruce, Anchor, Chum, and Murray.

“Today is Step 4,” Said Bruce. “Avoid the smell of blood. Want to know how I first met Chum?”

“How?” Asked Murray.

“It has been one year after I set up CAG, Carnivore’s Anonymous Group.” Bruce began. “It was only me and Anchor who made up the group. While looking for a third member, a shark charged at me like a torpedo! I grabbed him with my pectoral fins and didn’t let go until he calmed down. The first thing that I noticed when I first saw Chum was a fish hook stuck in his left nostril! He told me that he was caught by a fisherman, and a nosebleed caused him to attack them and go in a frenzy. I asked him if he would like to stop eating fish, and he agreed.”

“But why didn’t you yank the hook out?” Asked Destiny.

“I think it looks cool.” Replied Chum. He then looked at Destiny to see if she had any nostrils. “She doesn’t have nostrils, Bruce!”

“Good on you, mate!” Said Bruce.

———————————

The next day, Dory, Hank, and Bailey were now off the coast of Rockaway Beach, Oregon. Dory was telling Bailey about the epic adventure she and Marlin had when they went to find Nemo.

“And then there was this monster with sharp-teeth!” She said. “And strapped to it was something that said, don’t tell me.... P Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney!”

“You were able to remember that despite your disability?” Asked Bailey, whose nasal accent started going away with the colder climate they were approaching.

“Yes!” Said Dory. “Let me try again. P Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney! I remembered it again!” Suddenly, Hank noticed something: It was a boat, and humans were using a fishing net on a school of Albacore tuna!

“Dory!” He shouted. “Look out! Fishing net!”

“A fishing net?” Asked Dory, who then got caught in a net herself. “Aaahhh!!! Help!”

“I’ll save you, Dory!” Said Bailey. “One pull on the net, and the boat will capsize!”

“Sorry, that’s a no.” Said Hank. “If they see you, they might kill you, or worse, send you to an amateur aquarium!”

“Kill me?” Asked Bailey. “Swim for your life!” And he swam off as soon as the humans set their eyes on him.

“I know what to do, Hank!” Said Dory. “We have to tell all the fish to swim down!”

“As much as I like you, Dory,” Hank detested. “I have to decline that offer. You can do it if you want, but I want to give these humans a taste of their own medicine.” As Dory told the other fish to swim down, Hank climbed the outsides of the net and came across two fisherman.

“Look, it’s an octopus!” Said one fisherman. “Maybe we could turn him into calamari!”

“That’s squid, you idiot!” Said the other fisherman. “But we could always cut off his tentacles and fry them!” Hank then stood on four of his tentacles and sprayed ink at them.

“I can’t see a thing!” Said the second fisherman as Hank freed the schools of tuna.

“At least it can’t get any worse.” Said the first fisherman, only for the other net to nearly capsize the boat by Dory and another school of tuna.

“Next time,” Said the second fisherman. “We’ll do clamming, instead.” After Dory and the tuna escaped, Hank jumped back in the water and asked her where Bailey went.

“Where’s Bailey?” He asked. Shortly after that, Bailey returned to the fish and octopus.

“Sorry that I swam off.” Said Bailey. “I’m a catfish, sometimes.”

“Do you have the crumpet, Hank?” Asked Dory.

“It’s right here!” Said Hank, extending his tentacle to show the compass. “We better get going. It’s going to be a long swim.” The three of them then continued their long swim to Alaska.

Author's Notes: The backstory I created for Chum, one of Bruce's friends in Finding Nemo, is inspired by how Bruce went crazy after smelling blood. I also wanted to find a reason how Chum had the hook stuck in his nostril.
Albacore tuna are smaller than typical tuna, but they can live up to 12 years. These fish live in the Mediterranean.

Thursday, April 14, 2022

Finding Bailey Chapter 3

After three days on the EAC, Dory, Hank, and Bailey arrived at the same littered area that was just a couple miles away from the Marine Life Institute. This place was populated by hermit crabs with trash for shells, such as coffee mugs, bottle caps, and even rubber duckies!

“Does anybody know how to get to...” Dory began, before she was interrupted by Hank.

“Are you trying to get us killed?” He asked. “Who knows what predators lurk here!” Crabs then came out of the ‘shells’ and gave out a loud shush.

“You need help?” Said a voice. “Down here.” Dory looked down at the seabed and spotted something in the sand, and soon, a California halibut popped out of the sand.

“What’s wrong with your face?” She asked.

“I was born this way.” Said the halibut. “The name’s Alf. What are you doing here? You look like you came from the Great Barrier Reef.

“Technically,” Said Hank. “She was hatched in an aquarium. The Marine Life Institute in Morro Bay, California, to be exact. However, we’re actually on our way to Alaska.”

”I don’t know where Alaska is,” Replied Alf. “But I do know where the Marine Life Institute is. Just keep swimming East until you end up in a kelp forest. There are some lazy but friendly sea lions there at the gate, and I’m sure they’ll help you.”

“Barely!” Said Dory. “Could you use your echolocation to locate the sea lions?”

“I’ll try.” Said Bailey, who still had a nasal accent. “Oooohh! I see what appears to be a kelp forest. Oooohhh! I also see some long things lying on the shore. They must be sea lions!”

“Then let’s go!” Said Dory, and the three kept swimming until they ended up at the kelp forest. However, Bailey started feeling nervous.

“What’s wrong, Barney?” Asked Dory.

“The aquarium-keepers might be looking for me!” He said. “They might put me back in the aquarium, or worse! Send me to fish jail!”

“You’re on the run?” Asked a black Sea Lion lying on a rock. “No need to worry. You and that whale fish got replaced by a manta ray and a sea turtle.”

“But there are no manta rays in California!” Said Hank.

“The ray was bought from an aquarium in Georgia.” Said a brown sea lion. “The name’s Rudder.”

“And the name’s Fluke.” Said the Black Sea Lion, who then looked at Dory. “Hey, you’re the one who drove that truck into the sea!”

“That would be me.” Said Hank.

“What brings you here?” Asked Rudder.

“We’re here to ask if you know the way to Nebraska.” Replied Dory.

“Alaska!” Said Hank in a frustrated tone.

“Alaska?” Asked Fluke. “What for?”

“We need to return our whale friend here to Alaska, or else, he may not survive.” Replied Hank.

“Really?” Asked Rudder. “If that’s the case, we know something that may help you. Gerald!” Another sea lion swam over with grey skin and a big unibrow carrying a green bucket.

“We need one of your treasures to help our friend.” Said Fluke. Gerald knocked over the bucket with his nose, and out came several strange things, such as a dog bobble-head, a compass, a pack of gum, and an action figure of a Canadian stuntman on a motorcycle. Rudder picked up the compass with his mouth and gave it to Hank.

“This is a compass.” He said. “This thing always points North, and Alaska is all the way up North!” Suddenly, they started hearing a boat motor, which made Bailey nervous.

“Oh, no!” He said. “Someone hide me!” Dory hid in some kelp, Hank camouflaged himself on another rock with mussels and barnacles, and Bailey hid under a dock. As soon as the boat approached the sea lions, one of the humans was revolted at Gerald’s ‘treasures’ and grabbed every one of them, except for the compass.

“No respect for ocean life.” She said, and the boat took off. Gerald was upset that all his treasures were taken.

“It’s alright, Gerald!” Said Fluke. “You can start a new collection!”

“We’d love to chew the fat with you,” Said Hank. “But we have a journey to embark on! To Alaska?”

“To Alaska!” Said Dory.

“To Alaska.” Said Bailey with his nasal accent, and he let out another sneeze.

Author's Notes: All of Gerald's treasures in this chapters are, in fact, Pixar Easter Eggs. The pack of gum is a nod to TripleDent Gum, a brand of bubblegum from Inside Out that has a catchy commercial jingle. The gum has since then appeared in Cars 3 and Onward.
The dog bobble head is a nod to the many treasures that the titular robot finds in the trash in WALL-E.
And finally, the Canadian stuntman action figure is a nod to Duke Caboom in Toy Story 4.
As you probably noticed by now, I did lots of research to make sure that the new characters that appear in Finding Bailey are endemic to the locations Dory and the gang visit. The California halibut, as one would expect, lives in California.