The Great Toon War Chapter 4

The Great Toon War Chapter 4

Dexter followed Courage to No Where, Kansas (or at least, the set) and found the computer in the attic.

"Jeepers, Courage!" Said Dexter. "Your computer is very outdated."

"I know." Said Courage. "Muriel and Eustace lived a simple and geriatric life. If only I could go one day without saving them from the dangers of the desert!"

"Anyway, could you start up the computer, please?" Asked Dexter.

"Okay." Said Courage. He booted up the computer and a voice started to speak.

"Oh my." Said a robotic voice. "Courage, is that you?"

"Yes it is, Computer." Said the purple dog. "Can you connect to the Internet, please?"

"Okay." Said the computer, and it started making weird noises. "Sorry, twit. There is no internet server in your area."

"I can make arrangements." Said Dexter with a wrench in his hand.

"Will you please keep him the same as he was before?" Courage begged.

"I'll try my best." Said Dexter. He crawled under the computer and started to upgrade it. Courage couldn't help but scream.

Two hours later, Dexter finished upgrading Courage's computer.

"It's all set, Courage!" Said Dexter. "It now has 100 gigabytes of data, a CD-ROM drive, a USB port, a printer with two full cartridges of ink, and 50 programs pre-installed. However, I kept the memory chip intact. In other words, your computer still talks like it did before."

"I hope so." Said Courage, and he reluctantly tested the computer. "Hello, Computer?"

"Yes, Courage?" Said the robotic voice.

"Computer!" Shouted Courage with glee. "How can I repay you, Dexter?"

"Charge is free." Said Dexter. "But next time, try getting a job as a guard dog or something."

"I'll try." Said Courage. "But it's going to be hard now that both Muriel and Eustace are gone. Ahem. Computer? Could you check this USB drive Dexter gave me?"

"Of course, twit." Said the computer. Dexter gave Courage the USB drive and he put it in the computer. "Scanning for data. Category: characters. Strengths and weaknesses. Skills and stats. Weapons. Classic CN Army Count: 22. Modern CN Army Count: 23. Would you like to save this on Word?"

"Yes we would, computer!" Said Dexter. "And print 23 copies, please."

"Request accepted." Said the computer, and soon, 23 fifteen-page copies were printed out. "Would you like save?"

"Yes, please!" Pleaded Courage.

"Request accepted, twit."

Dexter mailed the documents to a vacant lot in Tujunga, California. The classic Cartoon Network characters were evicted from their original location in Burbank after Stuart Snyder kicked them out in 2010. Madame Foster was giving a speech to the recruits.

"Listen, children!" She said. "You are not playing a kiddy game with these new characters. We are going to fight for what's right: our freedom! With the help of this young gentleman Eddward here, who has written and categorized each of your strengths, weaknesses, and abilities, we'll be able to determine who will fight who! Eddward, could you do Madame Foster a favor and put on the slideshow?"

"Certainly, madam!" Said Double D, and he started working on the laptop. A picture then appeared on a screen via projector.

"There will be 23 distinct fighters on the Modern Cartoon Network Clan." Said Madame Foster. "So far, we only have 22, though I might be able to convince Goo to imagine some soldiers for us." Billy then raised his hand.

"Is Goo really made of goo?!" He asked.

"No, bulbous-nosed, egg-shaped head boy." Replied Madame Foster. "She's named that because when she was a baby, 'goo-goo ga-ga' was all she could say."

"Can we start the presentation, now?" Moaned Bloo. "I'm getting bored!"

"Yes we may, Bloo." Said Double D, and he started the slide show.

After about an hour, Madame Foster assigned everyone an opponent.

"Jack!" She said. "You're good with swords right?"

"Yes, I am!" Replied Samurai Jack.

"Then you will be fighting Finn the Human, the last of his kind." Declared Madame Foster.

"Then how come I'm still here?" Asked Billy.

"And me?" Asked Ed.

"And me?" Asked Eddy.

"And Dexter?" Asked Bubbles.

"Let me explain, morons." Said Mandy. "Adventure Time, in which Finn is from, takes place 1,000 years into the future. The inevitable World War 3 happened, and 99.99% of the human race has been wiped out. However, one remained, in a world full of small green elephants, turtles who can walk on two legs, vampires that drink red as well as blood, magic dogs, and talking candy."

"Candy?!" Shouted Billy, Ed, and Eddy, as they ran over to the blonde brat and started drooling.

"Yes, you idiots." Said Mandy. "Finn had a crush on a girl, a Princess, named Bonnibel Bubblegum."

"Gum!" Billy shouted.

"Do I need to lock you in a cage again?" Threatened Grim.

"Yes." Confessed Billy.

"Anyway," Mandy continued. "Finn is best friends with a magic talking dog named Jake. Together, they go on numerous adventures fighting monsters, exploring dungeons, and rescuing princesses. It would only be fair for Finn to fight Samurai Jack, but that leads to the ultimate question: Who will win the duel?"

Meanwhile, Dexter was in Professor Utonium's science lab. He has been working for three days on recreating the serums that turned him and Dee-Dee into humongous monsters. However, he was tweaking it so it would only be temporary. After discovering the secret lab, Dexter's parents shredded every document of every experiment and invention he created, but thanks to his well-organized long-term memory, he has been able to recreate the serums with success.

"Extreme science!" He shouted with victory. Suddenly, a phone started ringing. "Hello?"

"Dexter, honey?" Madame Foster asked through the phone. "Could you call your sister Dee-Dee so she could join our army?"

"But that's suicide!" Said Dexter. "Dee-Dee may be a pain in the neck, but she's still my sister!"

"But there won't be anything like guns or bombs!" Bloo said through the phone.

"Okay." Said Dexter. "I'll send her in the morning."

"And could you make Ben here a new watch?" Asked Madame Foster.

"It's an Omnidrix!" Said Ben.

"An Omnidrix, huh?" Said Dexter. "I may remember reading about those. They let the user turn into different species of aliens, but only for a limited time. I'll upgrade it so that he can stay as a particular alien for all the time he wants. What aliens do you want me to include?"

"I'll let Ben take over." Said Madame Foster, and she gave the phone to Ben.

"Okay, dude!" Started Ben. "Some of my alien forms are included to, but not limited to: Heatblast, Wildmutt, Ripjaws, XLR8, Ghostfreak, Grey Matter, Diamondhead, Upgrade, Four Arms, Stinkfly, Cannonbolt, Wildvine, Arctiguana, Eye Guy, Upchuck, Ditto, Way Big, Swampfire, Humugousaur...." It was going to be a very long night for Dexter.
Author's Note: The monster serum Dexter was trying to recreate in this chapter was from the Dexter's Lab episode 'Monstory', which will appear later in the story. However, they'll be much smaller than they were depicted in the actual episode.

Goo was a character on Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends who had a hyper-active imagination, so she tends to make many imaginary friends at once. She played Checkers and Truth or Dare differently, called Bloo 'Chester', and mistaken Mr. Harriman for a badger (when he's actually a rabbit).
Goo will appear in Chapter 6.