A Loud Legend Chapter 4

When Lincoln and Lynn went home, Lincoln was sad, and he looked at himself in the water and started to sing.

Lincoln: Look at me

I will never pass

For a perfect son

Or a perfect brother

Can it be

I'm not meant to play this part?

Now I see

That if I were truly to be myself

I would break my family's heart

Who is that boy I see

Starring straight back at me?

Why is my reflection

Someone I don't know?

Somehow I cannot hide

Who I am

Though I've tried

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

When Lincoln finished singing, he sat down on a bench in the garden. Luna, who heard him singing, walked over to Lincoln and tried to comfort him.

"I heard your singing, bro." She said. "And I couldn't help but overhear."

"I just needed to get something off my chest." Said Lincoln.

"Well, forget about that." Said Luna. "That's in the past, and just look at the beautiful flowers we have this year. But look. This one's late. I bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all." She put a flower on Lincoln's shirt. Suddenly, both of them heard drumming in the distance. They headed to the front yard and saw Squidward on a horse about to give an announcement. Rita, Lynnard, Leni, Luna, and Luan went outside to see it, while Lincoln, Lucy, Lana, and Lily stayed behind the fence.

"Attention, citizens!" Said the big-nosed understudy. "I bring news from the city council: the Coons have invaded Michigan!" Everyone gasped when they heard that. "By order of Mayor Big Man, one child from every family must serve in the imperial army." Squidward started reading a list of family names.

"The Turner family." He handed an envelope to a buck-toothed teen with brown hair, blue pants, and a red shirt and hat.

"The McBride family." Squidward handed an envelope to an African-American teen with big glasses, black hair, and a striped shirt.

"I will serve Big Man in both of my father's places." He said. Squidward continued reading the list.

"The Loud family." Squidward was about to give an envelope to Luna Loud, since Leni had autism and Luan can't take anything seriously. This shocked Lily, Lana, Lucy, and especially Lincoln, since Luna was always kind to him. He ran out the fence and ran in front of Squidward.

"Luna, you can't go!" Lincoln pleaded.

"Lincoln, get back inside, now." Commanded Rita, trying to hold in her anger.

"It's fine, honey." Said Lynnard. "I don't want to see one of our daughters or son get killed. That's why I'll volunteer."

"Then it's a deal." Said Squidward, giving the envelope to Lynnard instead. "Report tomorrow at DeLisle Isle." Leni helped escort Lincoln back to the house, while Squidward continued reading last names.

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Back in the house, Lynnard opened his closet and saw Japanese souvenir armor from long ago. He also pulled out an AirSoft gun he gave to Lincoln on his 10th birthday, but it was never played with. He called Luna into the room to help him practice dodging, since he would play darts and other games at his work station at his job with his daughters on "Bring Your Daughter To Work Day". He put on his antique armor and handed Luna the toy gun. However, with the heavy armor combined with Lynnard's aging body, he couldn't move as fast as he used to. He also forgot to wear his helmet. Luna shot a dart at Lynnard's forehead, and it left a mark on his forehead.

Author's Notes: The buck-toothed teen with brown hair, blue pants, and a red shirt and hat is Timmy Turner from The Fairly OddParents, if he ever grew up, that is.

The Bring-Your-Daughter-To-Work-Day scenario is from the Loud House episode 'A Novel Idea'.

A Loud Legend Chapter 3

After getting dressed by Leni, Lana gave Lincoln Flecko in his jar.

"What?" Asked Lana. "He's a lucky fly! Like how the Chinese believed crickets are lucky. To me, though, crickets are lizard fodder." Lincoln then headed outside with four other teens waiting to be interviewed. Suddenly, a large green toad with blue lips, a white shirt, a black bowtie, and brown paints with suspenders walked out of the Conglom-O building to announce his next appointment. This was Ed Bighead.

"Lincoln Loud." He said.

"Present!" Said Lincoln.

"Speaking without permission," Said Mr. Bighead, writing down Lincoln's score on a clipboard. When the two headed inside, Lana asked "Who spat in his bean curd?"
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Once Ed Bighead and Lincoln entered the building, Mr. Bighead escorted Lincoln to a private room, so he could review the white-haired teen.

"So, Lincoln Loud," Ed began. "Why do you want to work at Conglom-O?"

"Well," Lincoln began. "I have been playing video games since I was seven. All my sisters think that video games are for boys only, so I wanted to make a game that would appeal to both boys and girls."

"Interesting." Said Mr. Bighead. "What past work experiences have you had?"

"Well, there have been quite a few misadventures I had when I was eleven." Said Lincoln. "One of these was working for a gas station owner named Flip with my friend Clyde. However, it was only an internship, so I didn't get paid."

"Intriguing. Tell me a bit about yourself."

"Well, I live with seven sisters. However, last year, Lori, my oldest sister, left home so she could work as the general's second-in-command, who's also her boyfriend. I also have two other sisters, Leni and Luna, who are 20 and 19 respectively, but Leni has autism, so she won't be leaving the house any time soon. As for Luna, she wants to leave next year to pursue her career in music."

"Amusing. Have you done this kind of work before?"

"Not really." Lincoln replied nervously. He pulled out the jar that contained Flecko for good luck, but it didn't go unnoticed by Mr. Bighead.

"I normally don't ask for others' belongings," He said. "But what is that?"

"That's my lucky fly Flecko." Lincoln answered.

"A fly, hmm?" Asked Mr. Bighead, grabbing the jar. "To me, flies are nothing but snacks. I know where this one will go: Into my colon!" He took the lid off and stuck his tongue into the jar, trapping Flecko.

"Get your dirty tongue off him!" Commanded Lincoln, grabbing the toad's tongue and taking the jar off, making a pop noise. This caused Ed to fall backwards and hit his desk, knocking down a candle and lighting his butt on fire. Lincoln tried to fan it out with a work paper, but it instead, made the flame grow brighter.
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Outside, some of the people could hear the chatter from inside. Mr. Bighead burst through the door, shouting "Put it out! Put it out!" Lincoln threw coffee on the toad, dousing the fire.

"I hate my life." Muddled Ed.

"Lincoln! What happened?!" Demanded Rita.

"Ed tried to eat the lucky fly Lana gave me!" He pulled Ed's tongue out and showed the mark where the jar was.

"Lincoln!" Said Lynnard. "He may be a different species, but you should still give him personal space!"

"If I weren't any richer," Said Mr. Bighead. "I'd afford that son some manners! Your son will not be hired to work at Conglom-O, and that's final!"

"It's okay, Link." Said Lana quietly. "I know you're innocent. Just give me Flecko back." Lincoln gave Flecko back to Lana, and the Louds headed home.
Author's Notes: The internship Lincoln explains in this chapter is the episode 'Intern For The Worse'.
It is not officially confirmed if Leni has autism, but there are quite a few hints that she might. 
The line 'Get your dirty tongue off him!' is originally from Happy Feet.

A Loud Legend Chapter 2

Meanwhile, in a small house with a big family and a large backyard, a 15-year-old boy with white hair was eating Zombie Bran cereal, while also writing down notes on his cellphone. Today, he was getting ready for an important job interview. Being in a family of eight children, one son and seven daughters, five of this boy's sisters already know what they want to be when they leave the house. Lori, the oldest sister, already left and is now a guard at the Michigan/Ontario border wall. After four years of debate, Lincoln, the white-haired son of the family, decided to work as a video game tester at Conglom-O. He wanted to make games that would appeal to kids of any age and any gender, especially since he had quite a few sisters.

"Never be late," He wrote down. "Be excited about the job, dress appropriately, visualize the situation, and bring something new to the equation." Suddenly, a calendar icon appeared on his phone: It was time to feed the pets!

"Lily!" The boy shouted. He ran to a little girl's room and noticed Lily sleeping. He touched her and the 5-year-old girl shot up awake.

"Lincoln!" Said Lily. "You know how I hate that!"

"I'm sorry, Lily." Lincoln apologized. "Could you help your big brother with his chores today?"

"Okay." Said Lily. "But it will cost you."

"Here are some cookies." Said Lincoln, giving Lily some small chocolate-chip cookies. "Today, you need to feed the pets. Remember, the dog biscuits are for Charles, the cans of tuna, pre-opened, are for Cliff, the birdseed is for Walt, and the sunflower seeds go to Geo. And remember, you are too young to go near Lynn."

"I know most of my animals, Lincoln." Said Lily. "I just don't know where baby mammals come from. So, how will this work?"

"The first one who completes a lap around the yard gets one more cookie for the day!" Upon hearing that, Lily ran out the doggy door and into the backyard. Pet food spilled wherever she ran, attracting Charles, their dog, Cliff, their cat, Geo, their hamster, and Walt, their canary. Lily ran past Lynnda's stable, their horse, and Lynn just growled. Lily continued running and ran into a small cemetery, where Lucy, another one of Lincoln's sisters, and Lynnard Loud, the father of the family, were praying to the ancestors for good luck. Lucy and Lynnard were sitting on their knees next to the grave of their late Grandpa Albert, but Lucy, believing she can contact deceased spirits, says that he's been doing fine. Lucy lit a serpent-shaped oil lamp and Lynnard started to speak.

"Honorable ancestors." He started. "Please help Lincoln get a job as a video game tester." Suddenly, Lily ran through the cemetery, with the pet food trail, and ran back out. Cliff, Charles, Geo, and Walt followed and ate the assorted pet food.

"Please." Lynnard said with Lucy in unison. "Please help her."

Outside the cemetery, Lincoln was carrying a mug of tea, since both parents were aging. Lily saw Lincoln and looked at him with puppy-dog eyes.

"Okay," Said Lincoln. "Here's the cookie I promised." He gave Lily her final cookie of the day, and she happily ate it. Lynnard walked out of the cemetery and saw Lincoln with a mug of tea.

"Lincoln." Said Lynnard with a concerned tone. "Shouldn't you be in town by now?" Lincoln then looked at his phone.

"OMG!" He said. "You're right! I better get going!" He headed towards Lynn's stable and saddled her up so he could head to town. Once Lincoln left, Lynnard saw cookie crumbs on Lily's face.

"Will you tell mommy?" She asked.

"I won't this time, sweetheart." Said Lynnard, hugging the child. "Just make sure that's your last cookie of the day."
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Meanwhile, in downtown Royal Woods, Rita Gratuity Loud, the mother of the family, was waiting for Lincoln.

"Mom?" Asked Leni, the second-oldest child. "Is Lincoln here yet? We have to prep him for the big job interview, and I heard Mr. Bighead is a bit crabby. Does that mean he's related to lobsters?"

"No it doesn't, Leni." Rita face-palmed herself. "Of all days to be late. I should've prayed to the ancestors for luck."

"How lucky can they be?" Asked Lana, the second-youngest daughter. "They're dead. Besides, I've got all the luck we need." She held a fly in a jar with holes poked in the lid so he could breathe. "Okay, Flecko. This is your chance to prove yourself." Lana tied a handkerchief in front of her face and started crossing the road, unaware of the cars that could hit her. Rita's motherly instincts kicked in and she started to shout to her 10-year-old daughter.

"Lana Loud!" She said. "Get back here immediately!"

"It's fine, mom!" Said Lana, still blindfolded. When she reached the other side of the road, Lana untied her handkerchief and said "Yep, this fly's a lucky one!" Flecko fainted shortly after. Suddenly, Rita heard neighing: Lincoln finally made it to downtown!

"I'm here!" Said Lincoln, getting off of Lynn. Rita gave Lincoln a cold stare. "But mom, I..."

"None of your excuses." Said a disappointed Rita. "Now, let's get you ready for the interview. Leni, you can dress up Lincoln now!"
Author's Notes: It is my headcannon that Lynn Jr's real name is Lynnda, Lynn Sr's real name is Lynnard, and Rita's maiden name is Gratuity.

Zombie Bran was a cereal Lincoln desperately wanted in The Loud House episode 'Cereal Offender'.

Grandpa Albert, or Pop-Pop, is from the episodes 'Cover Girls' and 'The Old and the Restless'. Do you notice any resemblances between him and Lincoln?

Conglom-O was the company Ed Bighead worked at in Rocko's Modern Life.

Conglom-O will appear again in Chapter 3.

A Loud Legend Chapter 1

Nicktoons © Viacom International. Splinter created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird.

Mulan © Disney Enterprises. Songs courtesy of Matthew Wilder and David Zippel.

Call of Duty © Activision.

Halo © Microsoft Studios.
Like my previous stories, this story is set AU (alternate universe).
Just as a reminder, Lola and Lisa WILL NOT appear in the story, Lynn will appear as a horse, and the remaining Loud House characters will be aged by four years: Lori and Bobby will be 21, Leni will be 20, Luna will be 19, Luan will be 18, Lincoln, Ronnie Anne, and Clyde will be 15, Lucy will be 12, Lana will be 10, and Lily will be 5.
When the words are in italic, in means the characters are singing.

It was 2 AM in Royal Woods, Michigan. A 21-year-old woman was walking along the wall that borders Michigan and an Ontario wildlife preserve. However, the fauna in this section of Ontario were not too friendly: They were a gang of forest mammals who evolved to a human level, and their motto is 'Eat, beat, kill.' Suddenly, an anhinga (a type of bird) swooped down and made the woman drop her cellphone! Then, several pine cones attached to rope shot up into the sky and the pine cones latched themselves to the wall.

"We're under attack!" Said the woman. "Light the signal!" As soon as Lori, the female soldier and the general's second-in-command/girlfriend, started heading towards a ladder, a beaver with yellow fur entered through a door and was ready to attack. Lori climbed up the ladder, just before the beaver started chewing on it. Before she could light the signal, a bigger beaver with a turtle shell for a helmet and two more on his shoulders, appeared in front of Lori, and the anhinga landed on the beaver's shoulder. This was Oonski the Great, leader of the Ontarian wild animal tribe, known as the Coons. Lori then lit the signal, causing an alarm to sound off in a 2-mile radius.

"Now all of Michigan will know you're here." Said Lori. Oonski took a flag with the Michigan state symbol and snapped it in two.

"Perfect." Said the beaver.
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In a matter of minutes, Bobby Santiago, Lori's boyfriend and General of Royal Woods, marched into the mayor's office to tell him about the news. The mayor's name was Kenneth Thompson, known to the townsfolk as Really Really Big Man. His understudy was the rather crabby and pessimistic Squidward Tentacles, named after his freaky deformed feet.

"Kenneth," Said Bobby. "The Coons have crossed our northern border, and Oonski is leading them. We'll set up defenses around the town hall immediately."

"No." Said Kenneth. "Send your troops to protect the Royal Wooders. Squidward."

"Yes, your highness?" Asked Squidward.

"Deliver draft notices throughout all of Michigan." Said Kenneth. "Call up reserves and as many new recruits as possible."

"Forgive me, Big Man," Said Bobby, "But l believe my troops can stop him."

"I won't take any chances, Santiago." Replied Kenneth. "A single grain of rice can tip the scale. One man may be the difference between victory and defeat."