Sunday, July 9, 2023

Chip n Dale 2: Wrath of Pickles Chapter 5

Soon enough, the Angel Paradise truck ended up in front of a warehouse. The Rescue Rangers parked the Ranger Plane and snuck into the warehouse, and they were surprised that there was another Angelica, but this one was in her 30s, and was 2D.

“Another Angelica?!” Dale exclaimed. “How is this possible?”

“I honestly don’t know, Dale.” Said Chip. “But we have to keep a low profile. We don’t want to get spotted.” Adult Angelica was just sitting on a plastic throne, and Marvin the Martian was fanning her as if she were a queen. Soon enough, 2D weasels, along with CGI Angelica, entered the warehouse, each holding USB drives.

“Have each of you caught a total of at least 30 CGI Toons?” Said Adult Angelica. “And are they all famous?”

“Yes!” Said one weasel. “I even captured Sonic the Hedgehog the other night, meaning that there won’t be a Sonic the Hedgehog 3!”

“Darn!” Whispered Dale. “I was hoping to see that one.” When the weasels and CGI Angelica entered the USB drives into a large computer, various CG characters materialized behind a literal firewall. Kidnapped Toons included Anna and Elsa, Moana, Shrek, Po, Gru, and Ugly Sonic, as well as hand-drawn Toons who went through CGI surgery, such as Mickey, Donald, and Goofy, six Disney Princesses, Tinkerbell, and even Baloo. Adult Angelica, however, was mad that the wrong Sonic was kidnapped.

“Flasher, who’s the blue freak with the human teeth?” Asked Adult Angelica.

“You told me to kidnap Sonic the Hedgehog, Miss Pickles.” Replied the weasel.

“That’s Ugly Sonic in there, you idiot!” Adult Angelica yelled. “There are two Sonics, one of whom you won’t find in Los Angeles.”

“That’s what I was trying to tell ya!” Said Ugly Sonic.

“Why did you capture me and Shrek in the first place?” Asked Donkey, one of the kidnapped Toons. “Shrek 5 hasn’t even been put into production yet!”

“Your highness will explain in a moment.” Said Marvin, and Adult Angelica got off her throne.

“I guess you’re all wondering why I, Angelica C Pickles, have you trapped behind a firewall.” She began. Elsa tried to put the fires out with her ice powers, but nothing came out. Not even a snowflake.

“Sorry, but powers don’t work behind the Firewall.” Adult Angelica continued. “Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes! You see, as you all may know, I was the star of the beloved 90s cartoon, Rugrats. However, once I started First Grade, I was replaced by a younger and nicer Toon actor. Luckily, I was recast as the role for the spinoff show, All Grown Up, only to have it focused on Tommy and the gang. It only got worse after that show ended. Toons were blaming me for the death of hand-drawn animation in America. After The Rugrats Movie premiered, other studios tried to cash in on the success and tried making their shows into movies, whether they were successful or not. But that wasn’t my fault! And to add salt on the wound, nearly everyone hated me just because I played the villain on my show. When Rugrats turned 25, I snapped. I decided that since I was ‘responsible’ for the death of 2D animation on the big screen in the US, I was gonna bring it back. I teamed up with Marvin the Martian, and to avoid competition with Sweet Pete, I kidnapped one or two CG characters a year, all of whom were nobodies. Waldo C Graphic, Chicken Little, FanBoy and Chum-Chum, and that honeybee who looks like Jerry Seinfeld.”

“I was wondering where Barry went.” Said Shrek.

“The kidnapped Toons had two options.” Adult Angelica continued. “Either convert to hand-drawn with this reverse-engineered CAPS computer, or get depixelated. And you don’t want to know how many got depixelated! Anyone who witnessed the crimes would get memory-wiped. After Sweet Pete got defeated, however, I was starting to want bigger fish, so I teamed up with these weasels, along with my younger self, to capture more popular Toons, as well as kidnap those who went through CGI surgery. We decided to start with you thirty or so, and once Hollywood notices some of their biggest Toon stars are gone, they’ll have no choice but to switch to hand-drawn animation. I'll also make a law that bans movies based on 2D cartoons.”

“You’re saying that you had a grudge against the younger Angelica,” Asked Daisy Duck, yet another kidnapped Toon. “Yet you teamed up with her? How come?”

“Simple.” CGI Angelica explained. “Nobody expects a little girl to kidnap Toons!”

“If you plan on capturing popular computer animated characters,” Asked Donatello. “Then where are Miles Morales, the Bad Guys, and Callum and Ezran?”

“She spared them.” Said another weasel with a cheesy-crust pizza in his right paw. “They used animation styles that respected hand-drawn animation.”

“Now before you all meet your demise,” Adult Angelica continued. “Would you like to see how de-pixelation works?”

“Not really.” Asked Mickey.

“Mickey, Donald, and I have to attend Disney’s 100th anniversary party at FanCon!” Said Goofy.

“Too bad!” Said another weasel. “She’s gonna test it anyway!”

“Who to pick?” Adult Angelica asked herself. “How about the anomaly that isn’t supposed to be here.” She gave a dirty look at Flasher. “First, we type in Control-T to transfer Ugly Sonic into the computer.” She typed in Ctrl and T on the computer, and Ugly Sonic disappeared and reappeared on the computer’s monitor, who was in lower-resolution.

“Help!” Ugly Sonic yelled. “I look like I was programmed on a Sega Saturn!”

“And now to type in R-M-Star!” Said Marvin. He typed in R, M, and * into the computer, and Ugly Sonic was torn apart pixel by pixel until there was no more.

“Anyone still willing to convert?” Asked Adult Angelica.

“But I like being CG.” Said Snow White, another kidnapped Toon. “I can be around Sneezy without having him sneeze everywhere.”

“It helps me differentiate myself from the other Mickey Mouse.” Said Mickey. “The one who acts like SpongeBob.”

“I’ll convert!” Said Po. “It might make me more awesome if I were 2D.” As more trapped Toons expressed their thoughts, Gadget was getting angry.

“They can’t depixelate CG characters and get away with it.” She said. “Without the Disney Princesses, my daughters won’t have anyone to look up to! They’ll have to resort to… Winx Club!” She ran towards Adult Angelica and bit her leg.

“Yowch!” She screamed, shaking her leg and tossing Gadget into the air.

“Look what we have here.” Said Flasher, grabbing the mouse. “A Rescue Rodent. Does she look familiar, guys?”

“It looks like that mouse from Rescue Rangers that could build anything out of garbage.” Quickly said Snappy, one of the weasels.

“Rescue Rangers?” Asked CGI Angelica. “You mean those stupid rats from a jillion years ago who came out of retirement and put Peter Pan out of business? If they figure out our secret base, they’ll shut us down for good!”

“Flasher!” Said Adult Angelica. “Get out your secret weapon!” Flasher got out a flashlight, turned it on, and flashed it on the wall, eventually finding Chip, Dale, and Zipper. Zipper flew off, but Chip and Dale were captured by Snappy, tied up with rope with Gadget, and put them on a table.

“If it isn’t Chip and Dale.” Said Adult Angelica with disgust. “It disgusts me to see a hand-drawn Toon being friends with a CG Toon. What are you two spies doing here?”

“Oh!” Said Dale, starting to ad-lib. “We’re not Chip n Dale. Were, uh…. Mac and Tosh, the Goofy Gophers! And this is one of the mice from Robin Hood!”

“Typical Dale.” Chip said to himself.

“And she’s the Queen of English.” Said CGI Angelica.

“Marvin!” Commanded Adult Angelica. “Get me a bottle of dip. And bring me live-action gloves so I don’t burn my hands off!”

“Got it, your wickedness!” Said Marvin, giving her a bottle of dip. “It’s ironic how 76 years ago, that Judge Doom guy wanted to destroy Toontown with this stuff, and now, I’m handing it to you.”

“Whatever happened to Toontown, anyway?” Asked Biggo-Ego.

“In the 1960s,” Explained Adult Angelica. “The place was getting overcrowded, so the Disney and Maroon Studios Toons moved to Disneyland, while the Looney Tunes moved to Six Flags. When shows like Fat Albert and Schoolhouse Rock started being put into production, old timers like Tom and Jerry, Popeye, and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit felt that cartoons aren’t meant to teach, so they moved to Los Angeles. Now, the place is home to preschool Toons. Enough to make an adult go mad.” While Adult Angelica was monologuing, Zipper was flying towards the control panel, getting ready to free the trapped CG Toons.

“What should we do with Dale?” Quickly asked Snappy. “CGI Toons are immune to dip.”

“Let him watch his friends get dipped, then zap him with a USB drive.” Said Marvin.

“Chip!” Said Dale. “Remember when we were in Sweet Pete’s bootlegging machine, and you chewed on the wire to save my life? Chew on the rope to save us!”

“What am I, a beaver?” Chip asked himself. Regardless, he chewed on the rope and freed himself, Dale, and Gadget. Suddenly, they all heard an electronic noise. Zipper pressed the button to free the Toons. Behind the Rescue Rangers, the firewall collapsed, and the CG Toons started escaping.

“Don’t let them escape!” Commanded Adult Angelica, and Marvin and the weasels chased the CG Toons all over the warehouse. Flasher was about to zap Rapunzel with his USB bazooka, but she grabbed a frying pan and used it to block the electricity from the bazooka. Donald Duck simply ripped a bazooka out of Marvin’s hands, and eventually did it with the other lackeys. Zipper then flew over to the Rescue Rangers amongst the chaos.

“We better get going, guys!” Said the fly, and they escaped the warehouse to tell Chief Bogo about where the warehouse was located: 285 Grey Street.

“Did you catch any CG Toons?” Asked Adult Angelica.

“I did!” Asked Biggo Ego. He put the USB drive into the computer, but it wasn’t the right Toon: It was CGI Angelica.

“I felt my life flash before my very eyes!” She said.

“You idiots!” Said Adult Angelica. “You let all the Toons escape?!”

“Donald’s a force to be reckoned with.” Said Snappy. “I may have zapped other Toons while they were awake, but I zapped Donald when he was asleep. He would’ve called the police if I zapped him when he was awake.” Adult Angelica was about to blow off steam, but then she calmed down.

“This is when I would dip you,” She said. “But I’m giving you a second chance. We have a new objective in mind, fellas: Get rid of Chip and Dale. With those rodents out of the way, we’ll continue our plans to eliminate computer animation. Hand-drawn animation will rise again!” She then gave out a maniacal laugh, with the weasels, CGI Angelica, and Marvin joining in.

Author’s Notes: Since the weasels in Who Framed Roger Rabbit are meant to be evil counterparts to the Seven Dwarfs, I decided to name two of these weasels, Snappy and Biggo-Ego, after scrapped Dwarf names.

Flasher, however, was one of two scrapped weasels from ‘Roger Rabbit’. As stated earlier, Judge Doom’s weasels were meant to be evil counterparts to the Seven Dwarfs, and there were going to be seven weasels. As well as Wise Guy (renamed to be suitable for my family demographic), Greasy, Wheezy, Psycho, and Stupid, there was also gonna be Flasher and Slimy. Here is what Flasher would’ve looked like.

I also considered using Slimy, but after looking at his design, I thought it was too gross for mainstream audiences. Look him up at your own risk.

In the world of Chip n Dale: Rescue Rangers, Baloo from The Jungle Book went through CGI surgery so he could star in the 2016 remake.

I imagine that, in the world of Rescue Rangers, 7 of the 9 2D Disney Princesses went through CGI surgery (Tiana refused because she liked being hand-drawn, and Mulan felt that she wouldn’t do martial arts as well if she were CG) so they could guest star in Ralph Breaks the Internet.

Pocahontas, along with Raya, didn’t get kidnapped because they aren’t that popular. I also imagine that Mulan didn’t go through CGI surgery, as she may or may not have appeared in this shot alongside what could be her daughter in Chip n Dale: Rescue Rangers.

Mickey and friends in this story went through CGI surgery to star in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

The Ninja Turtles in this story are the same ones from the 2012 show. And if you're wondering, no. They did not go through CGI surgery.

If you’re wondering where Charlie Brown, Homer Simpson, Scooby-Doo, and SpongeBob SquarePants are, they never went through CGI surgery. I imagine that they all wore special suits that made them look CG in case they had to star in more 2D projects.

Callum and Ezran are the stars of the Netflix series The Dragon Prince. From Avatar: The Last Airbender writer Aaron Ehasz, this show is about half-brother princes Callum and Ezran and Rayla, a four-fingered elf with goat-like horns. Together, the trio hatch and raise the baby dragon Azymondias (or Zym, as they call him) and have to stop a thousand-year-conflict between the human kingdoms and the mystical creatures of the magical realm of Xadia (where the show takes place). What makes this show special is that, even though it was animated on computers, the characters, objects, and backgrounds are all rendered and shaded to look hand-drawn.

As I am typing, there are 36 episodes of The Dragon Prince on Netflix.

The code (RM*) that deletes CGI Toons is named after a code that nearly deleted Toy Story 2. During production of the film, an anonymous employee entered that code into one of the animation computers, and first, Woody’s hat disappeared. Then his boots. And as they kept checking, he disappeared. Soon, other characters, and even whole sequences, started getting deleted in front of their eyes. Luckily, technical supervisor Galyn Susman had a spare copy at her house. Since Susman had two sons, she needed a computer at home so she could work at home and take care of her kids at the same time. The Pixar employees wrapped Susman’s computer with blankets and pillows, carried it to the studio, plugged it in, and the movie was saved. Ed Catmull recalls in his book ‘Creativity Inc’ that they never found out who typed in the code, but he/she was never fired. Here’s a link to how Susman and co-technical supervisor Oren Jacob recalled the story.

How Toy Story 2 Almost Got Deleted: Stories From Pixar Animation: ENTV - YouTube

Ugly Sonic pointing out that he looked like he was programmed on a Sega Saturn (a video game console from the 90s to compete against the PlayStation 1 and the Nintendo 64) was secretly making fun of how computer animation during the 80s and 90s, for the most part, looked a little blocky.


A screenshot from the 1992 PDI short film ‘Gas Planet’.

Mac and Tosh were a pair of chipmunk-like gophers who were superbly polite. For years, they were referred to as the Goofy Gophers, but were given the names of Mac and Tosh on The Bugs Bunny Show, a TV show dedicated to showcasing old Looney Tunes cartoons.

If Chip n Dale: Rescue Rangers takes place in the same universe as Who Framed Roger Rabbit, one question comes to mind: What happened to Toontown? I imagine that, since live-action humans in the movie don’t seem to mind that Toons of all mediums are walking across the streets of Los Angeles, then the animated city should have new residents. Since some of the denizens of Toontown in ‘Roger Rabbit’ looked overly cute, it would only make sense to have preschool Toons inhabit the city.

Zipper freeing the CGI Toons by pressing a button is a nod to the ending of the Chip n Dale: Rescue Rangers episode ‘Three Men and a Booby’. In that episode, while grocery shopping at the local supermarket, Chip, Dale, and Monterey Jack meet a booby (a type of bird) who’s looking for her egg. When they arrive back at the Ranger Headquarters, the booby tells her that the baby, who hasn’t hatched yet, got taken by an egg-shaped helicopter. The Rangers decide to rescue the egg, and they discover that the booby’s egg was taken by a greedy egg collector with vicious guard hawks.

The Rescue Rangers get the booby egg back, but the mama has been kidnapped by the egg collector, Mr. Dumpty. While Gadget repairs the Ranger Plane, Chip, Dale, Zipper, and Monty have to take care of the egg until it hatches. The next day, the booby hatches, and he confuses the rodents for his parents!

The Rescue Rangers and the baby booby sneak inside Mr. Dumpty’s manor by hiding in an Easter basket. The rangers free the mother booby, attack Mr. Dumpty with candy (they were in an Easter basket, after all), suck the hawks into a vacuum cleaner, strip them of their feathers, and escape the manor. Zipper also messes with the thermostat, making Mr. Dumpty’s egg collection hatch.

285 Grey Street is a play on my old address: 258 Rea Street.

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