The Rescue Rangers made it to the LAPD, and they were ready to tell Chief Bogo the news.
“We found out where Angel Paradise is!” Said Gadget.
“And Angelica from the Rugrats is forcing CG characters to turn 2D or get depixelated!” Said Dale.
“Do you have any proof that this happened?” Asked Chief Bogo.
“Actually, yes!” Said Dale, pulling out his cellphone. “I recorded the whole thing while we were spying on her.”
“Why didn’t you tell us before?” Asked Chip.
“I wanted to keep it a secret.” Replied Dale. He then gave Chief Bogo the phone, and he saw the footage of Ugly Sonic getting depixelated.
“Are they armed with USB drives?” Bogo asked.
“They are, in fact.” Said Chip. “So it’s advisable not to bring computer generated officers to the warehouse.”
“Got it written down!” Said Bogo. “Do you know the address?”
“285 Grey Street.” Said Chip.
—---------------------------------------------
Back at the warehouse, the weasels and Marvin went on a chase to find the Rescue Rangers, as well as capture any CG Toon that escaped.
“Listen, men.” Said Marvin. “We’re on the lookout for these pests.” He then pulled out a photo of Chip n Dale. “Any CG Toons that were previously captured will be re-captured if encountered. Got it, fellow mustelids?”
“Got it, Marvin!” Said Snappy, who then ran off to find either Chip or Dale.
“I guess we’re splitting up.” Said Biggo-Ego. “You go this way, I go that way, and Marvin takes the Main Street.”
“Main Street?” Asked Marvin. “But that’s where Toons cash in on their wholesome image to get away with crimes. None of the escapees would be caught dead there! I’ll be going my own way, thanks.” A propeller popped out of his helmet and Marvin flew off. The two weasels then ran across the streets to find a Rescue Ranger or CG Toon they could zap. After half an hour of running, Flasher was starting to get tired, so he stopped by Cypress Park, where Po happened to be resting. He needed to head back to DreamWorks in Glendale to resume filming for Kung Fu Panda 4, and even off-screen, he was a poor runner.
“It seems Lady Luck has smiled on me!” Said Flasher. “Come out, panda, so you can get your picture taken!”
“Are you talking to me?” Asked the panda bear. “You think I’m that gullible? The first time you sucked me into a USB drive was when you burst into my window. I’m not gonna fall for that, again.”
“Well, you know what they say.” Said Flasher. “Second time’s the charm!”
“I’m pretty sure the saying is third time’s the charm.” Said Po, grabbing a baseball bat from a kid’s yard.
“If Raps can use a frying pan to block the blasts from the goober,” Po thought to himself. “Then this bat should do a similar trick. I’ll use this bat to smack the goober out of that weasel’s paws!” Flasher was about zap Po with his USB drive, but he dodged each blast.
“How can someone so fat move so quickly?” Asked Flasher.
“I do all my own stunts!” Replied Po, who then smacked the bazooka out of Flasher’s paws. He then grabbed the weasel, threw him into the air, and smashed his belly into Flasher.
“Skadoosh!” Said the panda, and Flasher was sent flying into a dumpster, which closed shut upon impact. A live-action boy then noticed the scene and was amazed.
“Are you Po from Kung Fu Panda?” He asked.
“Yes, I am, in fact.” Replied Po, realizing he still had the baseball bat in his paws. “Oh! Here’s your bat back. I can sign it if you want.”
“I’d love to.” Replied the boy.
—-------------------------------------
Back at the police department’s bullpen, Chief Bogo chose four of his best non-CG officers for the raid at Angelica’s warehouse.
“Atten hut!” He said. “We are going to raid the warehouse of Angelica Pickles, star of the popular 90s cartoon Rugrats. She and her lackeys are armed with USB drives, which are lethal to CG Toons. You four are the best I can find at short notice, and I want all of you to join me at 285 Grey Street. Striper!” A hand-drawn tiger got up and walked out of the bullpen.
“Hendrickson!” Shouted Bogo, and a live-action human timidly walked towards Bogo.
“Will there be any preschool dogs there?” He asked the buffalo.
“I’m pretty sure there aren’t.” Replied Chief Bogo. “Now go out with Striper, please! And remind all the hand-drawn Toons to wear laminated suits in case Pickles has turpentine acetone benzene.” Sgt. Hendrickson walked out of the bullpen to join Striper.
“Petey!” Shouted Bogo, and a stop-motion human was about to walk out of the bullpen, but was stopped by the buffalo. “Petey, that is a banjo. You’re supposed to bring firearms!”
“Sorry, Bogo sir.” Said Petey. “I’m a musician at heart.” He went to his locker to find his musket.
“Horseman!” Shouted Bogo, and an anthropomorphic horse with human fingers walked out to join the other cops. The buffalo then looked at a photo of Angelica on his phone when she was younger.
“Pickles,” He said. “Prepare to be sliced.”
Author’s Notes: DreamWorks is, in fact, working on a Kung Fu Panda 4. The film is slated to be released March 2024, around the same time as the next movie from Pixar, Elio.
In Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Peter B Parker calls the USB drive that will deactivate the Collider (the machine that merges other dimensions) a ‘Goober’.
Striper is the name I gave to the unnamed 2D tiger cop seen in Chip n Dale: Rescue Rangers.
The tiger is right behind the two human cops on the right.
Also in ‘Rescue Rangers’, one of the cops, Sgt. Hendrickson, got attacked by the PAW Patrol. They say he’ll never have kids.
Petey is one of the mercenaries hired to starve and kill Mr. Fox and his family in Fantastic Mr. Fox. He may be a hunter, but Petey is more of a musician at heart.
I’m aware that BoJack Horseman is aimed at adults and shouldn’t be in a fanfic based on a property with the Disney name, but ‘Rescue Rangers’ managed to showcase Toons from shows that are not family friendly, such as Big Mouth, Beevis and Butthead, and even South Park!
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