Jake: And now, let’s see what’s cooking in the kitchen with Yves St. La Roche.
Scott: It’s probably something that’s poisonous for skunks.
(cuts to Yves in his kitchen)
Yves: Bonjour, bonjour little animals out there! Today, we will make skunk cabbage calzone! For this recipe, you will need dough, tomato sauce, cheese, and skunk cabbage. First, you take the dough (grabs a can of Pillsbury-esque baking dough) and spread it on the plate (pours the can onto the plate). Next, you spread the tomato sauce and cheese on the dough (spreads tomato sauce and cheese on the dough) Next, you put on the skunk cabbage (puts skunk cabbage on the dough). Now, you roll the dough up (rolls up the dough) and bake it in the oven for 350 degrees (places the calzone in the oven for 350 degrees). Unfortunately, only snapping turtles, gastropods, and certain insects can eat skunk cabbage leaves, so once this is ready, I’ll give this to Alicia. I think I’ll give her a call right now.
(cuts back to Stinky and Jake)
Jake: And now, all the way from North and Central America…
Stinky: America.
Jake: Please welcome Scott the Spotted Skunk!
Scott (gloomily): Hi, again. I guess you’re here to hear about skunks, right? Then why didn’t you stick with Stinky?
Stinky: Number 1. I was already a guest star before. And Number 2. I’m a striped skunk, and this episode is about spotted skunks!
Scott: Alright. There are three species of spotted skunk, and I’m an Eastern spotted skunk.
Spotted skunks rely on not just our stench, but our black and white colors to warn other animals we smell bad. Just like a human’s fingerprint, no two spotted skunks have the same marking.
Jake: That skunk looks like it’s ready to spray!
Stinky: Spotted skunks can spray up to ten feet, and the stench is hard to get off. However, you can get it out with tomato juice.
Scott: Even though Stinky had over 300,000 skunks visit the studio to prove that skunks aren’t endangered, Eastern spotted skunks are classified as Vulnerable. Humans have infected us with diseases, cut down our forests, and compete with other animals for food. We might as well be extinct. (starts sobbing)
Stinky: That’s it! I’ve had it with your negativity!
Scott: Well, you’re always chipper!
Stinky: That’s not true! There was the time that I thought I was gonna get eaten by a vulture, then there was the time I wore a hazmat suit to avoid the poisonous guest stars, then there was a time I was afraid the world would end due to climate change, then there was a time when I trapped Stinky and I in a cage to about getting beaten up by a hippo and a buffalo, then there was…
Jake: Quiet! There’s only one thing to settle the dispute- A duet.
Stinky: I know which song to sing. Music, maestro!
I like to party hard!
Scott: I like my own backyard.
Stinky: I like to jive and bop!
Scott: I like it when you stop!
Both: So who knows, who knows?
Who knows what you see?
Who knows what you see in a skunk like me?
Scott: You don’t like to lose.
Stinky: You can’t stand to win.
Scott: You won’t sing the blues.
Stinky: You think fun’s a sin!
Both: So who knows, who knows?
Who knows what you see?
Who knows what you see in a skunk like me?
Stinky: You say doom is nice.
Scott: No, I don’t! You say gloom’s a vice.
Stinky: But you don’t like to dance.
Scott: You’re Mr. Fany-Pants!
Both: So who knows, who knows?
Who knows what you see?
Who knows what you see in a skunk like me?
Scott: Actually, I don’t mind the way you clown.
Stinky: Well, I don’t mind it when you frown.
Scott: And I like your weedy style.
Stinky: I like your weedy smile!
Both: So we know, we know
We know what we see!
Stinky: I know what I see and it’s fine by…
Scott: I know what I see and it’s fine by…
Both: We know what we see
And it’s fine by me!
Scott: You know what? I’m all better! I think I’ll go back to the woods. (heads over to the Habitat Door)
Jake: I’m glad you made up with Scott, because now it’s time for the Animal Awards!
Bunnie: Today, the award for the smelliest animal! Could it be… the tamandua?
Armstrong: The skunk?
Bunnie: The milliede?
Armstrong: Or the musk ox?
Bunnie: And the winner is… the skunk!
Armstrong: No surprise there.
Bunnie: Did you know that there’s actually a stinkbird?
Armstrong: I don’t think I want to know. Besides, I’m smarting to smell Yves’ skunk cabbage calzone!
(cuts back to Stinky and Jake)
Jake: And now, it’s time for a story, which happens to be about a skunk relative. “Once upon a time, there was a wolverine named Wilfred. Even though wolverines are famous for hurting other animals much bigger than itself, Wilfred was rather skittish. In fact, even the snapping sound of a branch would scare him! One day, he met a hungry wolf. ‘You’re a meek prey, and I’m a vicious predator!’ Said the wolf. ‘And I’m going to eat you!’ ‘Can’t we just settle this like civilized animals?’ Asked Wilfred. ‘No!’ Said the wolf, and he started chasing poor Wilfred all over the woods until he was cornered against a wall. ‘There’s no way you can escape me now!’ Said the wolf, until suddenly, he smelt something. ‘Something smells.’ He then looked at Wilfred. ‘I’m not gonna eat something that smells bad! I’m gonna hunt a deer, instead!’ And from that day forward, Wilfred decided to use his bad smell as a weapon, but only if the situation calls for it. The end.”
Stinky: That was a good story, Jake. Are wolverines related to skunks? Wilfred looks like me.
Jake: Wolverines are related to skunks, actually!
(cuts to Bunnie and Armstrong in from of the Habitat Door)
Bunnie: It’s Habitat Time, Armstrong! Today, we will be visiting Japan!
Armstrong: Japan?! No way! I don’t want to get stomped on by Godzilla. Or eaten by him.
Bunnie: But Armstrong, Godzilla’s not real! He’s just a human in a suit!
Armstrong: Really?
Bunnie: Yes. (opens the door) Come on, let’s go!
Here we are in Japan, an island nation that’s also nicknamed the Land of the Rising Sun.
Armstrong: How come?
Bunnie: Because it’s located to the east of mainland Asia, making it the first place to see the sunrise from that view!
Armstrong: That looks like Nitiru from the tundra episode!
Bunnie: That’s because it is! This is a snow monkey, which is also called the Japanese macaque. Snow monkeys are a type of Old World Monkey.
Armstrong: Old World monkey? Then what is the New World?
Bunnie: The Americas!
Armstrong: What is that kitty doing in the woods?
Bunnie: It may look like a household cat, but this is the Iriomote cat. This critically endangered relative of the leopard only has 100 left in the wild!
Armstrong: I normally hate cats, but that sounds horrible!
Bunnie: It is sad, Armstrong, since their dusky markings are lovely and found on no other feline in the world. Iriomote cats also love to swim, unlike most cats.
Armstrong: I know what that is- a squirrel!
Bunnie: Correct, Armstrong! This is a Japanese dwarf flying squirrel.
Armstrong: A flying squirrel? Like Quincy?
Bunnie: Yes, though this one is probably smaller than Quincy. Also, Japanese dwarf flying squirrels are popular pets.
Armstrong: That looks like a raccoon.
Bunnie: That’s actually not a raccoon, but a raccoon dog.
Armstrong: A raccoon dog? What next? A fox-cat?
Bunnie: And this is a Japanese marten.
Armstrong: A marten? I’m pretty sure that’s a weasel.
Bunnie: Martens are related to weasels. They’re mustelids, like Stinky!
Armstrong: Could we stay in Japan a little while longer. I want to learn more about martens!
Bunnie: Sorry Armstrong, but we have to get home. Maybe another time.
(Bunnie and Armstrong leave Japan and return to the Animal Show studio)
Bunnie: For Habitat Time, this is Bunnie Bear.
Armstrong: And Armstrong the Chickenhawk.
Bunnie: Just back from Japan.
(Tizzy flies around Stinky and Jake again)
Tizzy: Quiz time!
Jake: And what’s the quiz this time?
Tizzy: Well, here it is! (cuts to the screen below)
What's the name of this turtle that releases a foul odor like a skunk? Give it a think. Back in a buzz!
(Tizzy flies back to Stinky and Jake, who are trying to find out the answer)
Jake: I actually know the answer, but I want Stinky to answer.
Stinky: Could you give me a hint?
Jake: Sure. It’s a nickname your mom gave you.
Stinky: Stinkpot?
Tizzy: Yes! (flies back to the previous screen) This is called the stinkpot turtle. Bee-lieve it, because it’s true!
Jake: Thanks for the quiz, Tizzy! Well, that’s the time we have… (sniffs) What’s that smell? (Yves runs towards Jake with a plate of skunk cabbage calzone)
Yves: The calzone is ready! Where’s Alicia?
Alicia: Coming! (slowly crawls over) Sorry that I was late. I had to stop for directions.
Stinky: Pee-yew, that stinks, and I’m a skunk! If you need me, I’m gonna go to the arcade. I’ll play either Zombie Attack or Chaos at the Carnival.
Jake: And I have to visit Woodland Valley.
Bunnie: Say Armstrong, want to go back to Japan?
Armstrong: You bet!
 |
| Doc holding a copy of Zombie Attack. |
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