Who Framed Fozzie Bear Chapter 3

Later that night, Richard arrived at the entrance of Cyclia. When he knocked on the door, Bobo the Bear peeked through the hole.

"What's your name?" Bobo asked.

"Richard Jewel." Said the detective.

"Sorry," Said Bobo. "I don't see your name on the guest list."

"Okay," Said Rich. "Mark Hamill." Bobo then looked at the list again.

"Yep!" Said Bobo. "You're on the list! You may come inside." Bobo opened the door and was surprised to see 'Mr. Hamill'. "Say, you look younger than I remember."

"Prosthetic makeup." Replied Rich. As he went inside the building, he heard two familiar voices: It was Bert and Ernie on a stage, and they were entertaining human adults.

"Ernie, what should we do for our act?" Asked Bert.

"Maybe we could do the game of rhymes!" Replied Ernie.

"But Ernie! We're in front of live adults!" Bert protested.

"We'll just have to wait until the lobster molts!" Said Ernie.

"It's just not what I want to do."

"Wiggle your finger and waggle your shoe."

"Ernie, I don't want to play a game of rhymes!"

"Nice going, Bert. I'll ring my chimes."

"I don't wanna do it."

"There's really nothing to it."

"Stop it, please!"

"A dog has fleas."

Also working at Cyclia were penguins, the Swedish Chef, and Rowlf the Dog. As Rich walked closer to the stage, someone squirted him with ink. It was Chuck Beasley, son of legendary comedian Gags Beasley. Chuck started chuckling, but Rich didn't think it was funny.

"You think that's funny?" He asked.

"It's a panic!" Replied Chuck. However, Rich was angry at him and held him by the shirt.

"You won't think it's funny if I stick that pen up your nose!" He threatened.

"Calm down, bro." He said. "It's disappearing ink. No hard feelings, I suppose." When Rich looked at his jacket, the stain disappeared. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm-"

"I know who you are." Richard interrupted. "You're Chuck Beasley, the guy that owns Puppetown. The son of comedian Gags Beasley."

"In the flesh." Said Chuck. "Give me a shake, pal!" Rich extended his hand towards Chuck, but the detective got shocked, instead. "The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller after all these years!" As Chuck laughed to himself, a penguin came by to ask Rich for a drink.

"What would you like to drink, sir?" He asked.

"Scotch on the rocks." He said. "And I mean ice!"

"Right away, sir!" Said the penguin, and he zoomed off to the Swedish Chef's kitchen. Meanwhile, back on the stage, Bert finally decided to play along with Ernie.

"All right, all right. I give up." He said.

"Eat from a plate and drink from a cup." Said Ernie.

"I guess I'll just have to play along."

"It plays like a game and sings like a song."

"You may be right, I may be wrong."

"A clock goes tick, and a bell goes bong."

"This game is really kind of kicky."

"Sugar is sweet and glue is sticky!"

"It's a great kind of game to play with a friend."

"And now, old buddy, we've come to the end."

"End? As in it's over?" Asked Bert. "But I was just getting the hang of it!"

"Sorry, Bert," Said Ernie. "But Miss Janice has to go on."

"Alright, Ernie." Said Bert, as the two walked off the stage. "But maybe we could do it again after work!" As soon as the curtain closed, the penguin arrived with Rich's drink. It was Scotch, alright, but it had rocks instead of ice.

"Puppets." He said to himself.

"Bunch of weirdos, if you ask me." Said a familiar voice. It was Miss Piggy, and she was selling DVDs. "Is that you, Richard Jewel?"

"Piggy?" He asked.

"Long time no see." Said the pig.

"What are you doing here?" Asked Rich.

"Moi wants to star in her own movie," Said Piggy. "But alas, I don't have the funds. So, I'm working on a series of odd jobs to fund my own movie! I call it 'All About Moi'."

"Good luck with that." Said Rich. Suddenly, the lights dimmed, the curtain rose, and the audience howled in delight. Even Chuck Beasely was acting crazy.

"What's with him?" Asked Rich.

"Mr. Beasely never misses a night when Janice performs." Replied Piggy. An orange feminine humanoid Muppet with blonde hair and Lamb Chop-esque eyes walked onto the stage and started singing the classic song 'I'm a Woman'. It was Fozzie's wife Janice, and Richard was baffled.

"She's married to Fozzie Bear?" He asked. "But she's not even a bear!"

"And I'm married to a frog," Said Piggy. "Yet here we are." She then closed Rich's mouth and walked off. Throughout the song, Janice teased men in the audience, regardless if they were single or not. After she finished her song, Rich followed Chuck Beasely to Janice's dressing room. Once Chuck was inside, he placed his ear against the door so he could listen. Little did he know that Bobo the Bear was behind him, and he was mad. Not because he was spying on Janice, but because he realized he was tricked.

"You're not Mark Hamill!" He said. "Hamill was absent today! I have no choice but to throw you out, sir." Bobo grabbed Rich and threw him out in the garbage.

"That's just great." Said Rich. "How am I supposed to take a picture of Janice and Chuck together?" Oscar then popped out of one of the trash cans to give him advice.

"You could always take a picture through the window." He snickered, and that's exactly what Richard did. When he finally took pictures of Janice and Chuck, they were playing patty cake. Literally.

Author's Notes: Gags Beasley was an unseen character who was mentioned frequently on The Muppet Show. He was Fozzie Bear's joke writer who wrote the notorious Banana Sketch in the Sandy Duncan episode.

The rhyming game that Bert and Ernie play in this chapter was taken from a 1975 episode of Sesame Street. You can watch this funny sketch in the link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMMRI7H8sEI

Janice singing 'I'm a Woman' is inspired by Miss Piggy and Raquel Welch singing the same song on The Muppet Show.