Who Framed Fozzie Bear Chapter 8

While Rich was washing the feathers off of him after getting the chicken head off, Janice entered the apartment.

"Mr. Jewel?" She asked. "Mr. Jewel. Are you home?" Rich then got out of the bathroom with no shirt on. "You've got the wrong idea, Richard. I'm not a murderer. I'm a pawn in this, just like Fozzie. Can you help me find him? I'll pay you anything."

"I bet you would." Said Rich. "You gotta have the bear to make the scam work."

"No, I love my husband!" Said Janice. "You've got me all wrong. You don't know how hard it is being a woman, looking the way I do."

"I actually have an idea of what it might be." Said Rich. "I've been married to Jenny for five years, now."

"I'm not bad." Said Janice. "I'm just built that way."

"But weren't you playing pattycake with Chuck Beasley?" Asked Rich.

"No, of course, not!" Pleaded Janice. "You were set up to take those pictures."

"What are you talking about?" Asked Rich.

"Thatcher wanted to blackmail Beasley." Explained Janice. "I didn't want anything to do with it, but if I didn't pose for those pattycake pictures, Fozzie would never work in this town again. I couldn't let that happen!" She then wrapped her arms around Rich's left shoulder. "I'd do anything for my husband, Mr. Richard. Anything." Suddenly, Jenny entered the room, and boy, was she mad.

"Some husband you are." She said. "First, I had to watch over that bear, then come home and clean the apartment because someone trashed the place, then had to sleep alone, and now, you're cheating on me?!"

"I think I should go now." Said Janice, and she headed for the exit. After Janice left the apartment, Jenny angrily walked towards Rich.

"What was she doing with her arms around you?!" She demanded.

"Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife." Suggested Rich.

"C'mon, Richie!" She said. "I caught you red-handed!" She then walked out of the building, with Rich following in pursuit.

"Come on, Jenny!" He told her. "Do I look like a guy who would fall in love with a puppet? Besides, she's looking for Fozzie!"

"That's not all she's looking for." Said Jenny, walking towards the diner.

"Now look, Jenny." Said Rich. "Listen to me. I want you to buy a new swimsuit, because we're going to Florida. I'm almost done cracking this case!"

"No you're not, Richie." Explained Jenny. "That's what I came to tell you. I checked the internet at the library yesterday, and Thatcher's not after Puppetown like you thought. It's Triple M that wants to get their hands on Puppetown. They put in the highest bid. Unless Mr. Beasley's will shows up by midnight tonight, Triple M will own Puppetown!"

"At midnight tonight?" Asked Rich.

"That's right." Replied Jenny.

"First they buy the taxi service," Rich started hypothesizing. "Then they want to get their hands on Puppetown. That doesn't make sense." Suddenly, the two of them heard singing.

"That's Fozzie!" Rich and Jenny said together, and the both of them ran to the diner to see what was going on. Little did they know that the Moopets were eavesdropping on them from in the sewers.

"The bear." Said Kermoot. "Get the judge."

---------------------------------------------------------------

When Rich and Jenny got inside the diner, Fozzie was singing and dancing to 'Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee' from Pinocchio. Infuriated by this, Rich grabbed Fozzie and threw him into the cleaning closet.

"I'm risking my neck out there for you," He explained. "And what are you doing? Singing and dancing!"

"But, Richie!" Said Fozzie. "Those people needed to laugh!"

"And when they're done laughing, they'll call the cops!" Said Rich. "Jared Weisner would rat you out for a buck!"

"Not Jared." Said Fozzie. "He'd never turn me in!"

"Why?" Asked Rich. "Because you made him laugh?"

"That's right." Said Fozzie. "Laughter is the third greatest gift of all. Sometimes, it's the only weapon we have. Laughter is..." Suddenly, Rizzo entered the room through the air vent.

"Tex Coleman is here, so you might wanna stay put." He said, giving them a telescope. "Here. Use this to look outside without being caught."

"Thanks!" Said Fozzie. When Rizzo left the closet, he saw Judge Coleman at the entrance of the diner.

"I'm looking for a murderer." He said, and the Moopets followed. Rich and Fozzie spied on him with the telescope. "A bear! A puppet bear, about this tall." He used Roowlf as a comparison.

"Look," Said Jenny. "There's no bear in here, so stop harassing my customers."

"I didn't come here to harass." Said Coleman. "I came here to reward." He walked over to the whiteboard, which said 'Shredded Olives' on it, grabbed a marker, erased 'Olives' and wrote 'Bear', so it said 'Shredded Bear'.

"I've seen the bear." Said Jared.

"Where?" Asked Coleman.

"He's right here in the diner." Said Jared, placing his hand behind a piece of air. "Say hello, Harry!" Upon introducing 'Harry', everyone in the diner, except for Coleman and Jenny, laughed their heads off. Coleman then looked at the CD player that played 'Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee' earlier. He took the CD out and looked at it.

"'Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee'." He read. "That's an odd choice for background music for a diner." He then smelled the disc. "He's here!" He threw the disc into the air like a frisbee and it landed in Foozie's mouth, which made the Moopets laugh hysterically.

"Stop that laughing!" Coleman demanded, smacking Miss Poogy with his cane. "Have you forgotten what happened last time? If you don't stop laughing, you'll end up dead, just like the Teppums!"

"Say, boss." Said Janooce. "Should we disassemble the place?"

"No, Janooce." Said Coleman. "Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The bear is going to come right to me. Does anyone have a honey-flavored ice cream cone?"

"I'll get one, boss!" Said Kermoot, who barged into the kitchen to look in the fridge for honey ice cream. He found one and gave it to Coleman.

"Free honey-flavored ice cream!" He declared. Back in the closet, Fozzie overheard the judge and was very tempted to have a taste of the ice cream.

"Fozzie, no!" Said Rich, restraining the bear from leaving the closet.

"I can't help it, Richie!" Said Fozzie. "I'm a bear!" He ran out of the closet to get the ice cream, only to get caught by Coleman. Kermoot then noticed Rich in the closet.

"Hey, Judge." He said. "What should we do with the stowaway?"

"We'll proceed to him later." Said Coleman, holding Fozzie by the neck. "Right now, I feel like dispensing some justice. Bring me the Puppet Shredder!" Roowlf then brought over the Puppet Shredder and turned it on. "Does the bear have anything to say before he becomes a bearskin rug?"

"You're a judge, right?" Fozzie asked. "Don't I have a say in this?" Coleman just choked Fozzie and brought him closer to the Shredder. This was when Rich had an idea. He went into the kitchen and got some root beer.

"Hey, Tex!" Said Richard. "Doesn't a dying bear deserve a last request?"

"Like what?" Asked Fozzie.

"I think you want a drink." Said Rich, pouring root beer into a glass. "How about it, Judge?"

"Well, why not?" Asked Coleman, placing the bear on a stool and turning off the Shredder. "I don't mind delaying the execution." Rich then handed the glass to Fozzie.

"Richie, no!" Pleaded Fozzie. "Remember what happened the other night? Why not the honey ice cream?"

"Seems like the other bear already got it." Said Rich, looking at Foozie lick the ice cream cone. "Drink the root beer!"

"But I don't want the drink!" Pleaded Fozzie.

"He doesn't want the drink." Said Coleman.

"You do want the drink!" Said Rich.

"I don't!" Said Fozzie.

"You do."

"I don't!"

"You do."

"I don't!"

"You do."

"I don't!"

"You don't."

"I do."

"You don't!"

"I do!"

"You don't!"

"Listen," Said Fozzie. "When I said I do, it means I do!" He guzzled down the root beer, and after a few seconds, let out a long burp that bought Richard enough time to fight some Moopets. After Fozzie finished burping, Rich grabbed the bear and ran outside.

Author's Notes: In The Muppet Movie, Fozzie got a honey-flavored ice cream cone at the Bogan County Fair (where they first met Piggy).

Fozzie singing 'Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee' is a reference to him singing the same song in the Rita Coollidge and Kris Kristofferson episode of The Muppet Show.

The Teppums were alien doppelgangers in The Jim Henson Hour episode 'Outer Space', whose names were basically backwards versions of regular Muppet names. They included Timrek the Gorf, Oznog, and Noel.

Harry mentioned in this chapter is a reference to not Crazy Harry, but Harry the Hipster, one of the first Muppets ever created. He appeared on Jim's prime-time puppet show Sam & Friends, which also had the earliest Kermit puppet.