The Great Toon War: Remastered Chapter 3

A few minutes after the modern Cartoon Network characters left, Madame Foster, founder of Foster's Home For

Imaginary Friends, stood on a podium.

"Okay, cream puffs!" She said. "We are going into war! For the next four weeks, we are going to train very

hard to beat their butts! Now, who's with me?!" Everyone except for the Eds, some Imaginary Friends, Dexter,

Billy, Mandy, Grim, Juniper Lee, Samurai Jack, and Ben fled. Courage, Dee-Dee, and Cow were also going to

be on their way, but were stopped by the PowerPuff Girls. Madame Foster then focused her eyes on Cow.

"Bovine!" She snapped. "You have four stomachs, right?"

"Yes?" Said Cow.

"And you have a superhero identity?" Madame Foster continued.

"How did you know that?" Cow asked sheepishly.

"That's not important!" Said Madame Foster. "Your superhero identity might come useful during the

battle. Now, purple dog!"

"Purple dog?" Said Courage. "Nobody called me that before."

"Ah, so you can talk." Said Madame Foster. "Now, is it true that you have a home computer in your attic

that you use when researching your enemies?"

"Yes." Answered Courage. "But it often calls me a twit."

"Could we use it to research the newer characters?" Asked Madame Foster.

"I suppose," Said Courage. "But my computer is a Doors 95, and he's been my second-best friend since I have

been adopted. I'm afraid that he'll change if we upgrade him."

"Well, the short scientist with orange hair can help you." Said Madame Foster. She then focused her eyes on

Dee-Dee. "Kiki, your brother has a secret lab. Right?"

"My name's Dee-Dee, not Kiki." Corrected Dee-Dee. “And it’s not really a secret. Everyone knows about the

lab, even mom and dad! I’m surprised Dexter never got punished, though.”

"He's a genius for someone his age." Said Madame Foster. "He will be very useful for the battle. Could you

get him over, sweetie?"

"Okay!" Said Dee-Dee, and she skipped off the podium to grab her younger brother.

"You know you could have just asked me to come over, Dee-Dee." Said Dexter.

"Dexter, my sweetie." Said Madame Foster. "Could you get your sweet grandmother copies of statistics for

everyone who will be fighting? And could you help this poor little dog fix his computer?"

"Oh, no!" Complained Dexter. "Not another dog!"

"What do you have against dogs?" Asked Courage. This surprised Dexter.

"Why, this is remarkable." Said Dexter. He grabbed Courage and looked down his throat with a

flashlight/telescope. "Animals aren't capable of speech, except for domesticated parrots. And I have never

seen a dog, let alone a mammal, with purple fur!"

“This is a cartoon, Dexter.” Said Dee-Dee. “Anything can happen.”

“Oh yeah.” Said Dexter. “I forgot.

“So, Dexter. Do we have a deal?” Asked Madame Foster. “Will you fix Courage's computer and do research

on our friends as well as foes? The ones who will be participating in battle?"

"It's a deal." Said Dexter, and he shook hands with the elderly woman.

—----------------------------------------

Back in the real world, Jim got his friend Bill over to watch The Great Toon War. They finished watching the latest episode, and they started a wager.

“I bet you 10 Yu-Gi-Oh cards that the new Cartoon Network characters win.” Said Bill.

“I bet you a whole deck’s worth of Yu-Gi-Oh cards that the old characters will win.” Said Jim.

“Deal.” Said Bill, and the two shook hands.

—----------------------------------------

Meanwhile, while universe hopping (literally), Uncle Grandpa and his crew ended up in the DCAU

(DC Animated Universe).

“Why do all the people look like they came out of Megas XLR or Ben 10?” Asked Pizza Steve.

“Because it’s not the real world, dough boy.” Said Mr. Gus.

“Maybe the next universe will be the real world.” Said Uncle Grandpa.

“Or the fifth.” Said Pizza Steve.

“Or the 2,000th.” Said Mr. Gus. Regardless, Uncle Grandpa pressed a button on the RV, and it literally

hopped out of the DCAU. Little did they know that Clark Kent, Superman’s alter ego, was there reading

a newspaper.

“Looks like I don’t have to send it to the Phantom Zone, after all.” He said.

Author's Note: In Cow & Chicken, Cow had a not-so-secret identity called 'Super Cow'.

Super Cow will appear in Chapter 13.

In Courage the Cowardly Dog, whenever Courage needed advice or information about the impending danger, he would consult with his computer in the attic.

Courage's computer will appear in Chapter 4.

The Great Toon War: Remastered Chapter 2

Many days later, the classic Cartoon Network characters finished watching all the episodes of the modern Cartoon Network shows, and vice versa. Each of them had mixed opinions on the shows.

"Sarah?" Jimmy asked his friend timidly. "Is there really an alien rock at the center of the Earth that will crack the planet open like an egg?"

"Of course, not, Jimmy!" Said Sarah. "Everyone knows aliens don't exist! Or at least, not in our show."

"Why does someone containing candy have to be so mean?" Bubbles sobbed.

"It's okay, Bubbles." Said Blossom, who was comforting her sister. "He's just acting. He couldn't possibly be that mean in real life."

"Hey, Mandy!" Billy asked. "Can we open our own food truck like those bears did?"

"You know you suck at making your own food." Said Mandy. "Besides, you would eat it all before the first customer arrives."

"I personally wish one of those princesses would fall for me." Said Johnny Bravo. "But not that fat purple one. She's scary."

"Haven't you noticed how similar the Ed's lives are to ours, Jeff?" Clarence asked in a giggly voice.

"Yes, Clarence." Answered Jeff in an annoyed tone. "I have noticed."

"Steven," Pearl said to the half-gem. "Were cartoons always that surreal and disturbing?"

"I don't remember so." Said a confused Steven. "That was probably what Rebecca grew up with.

"I think I noticed something, Darwin." Gumball said to Darwin. "Hector looks like he came from Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends."

"You know, what?" Said Darwin. "You're actually kind of right." Everyone soon went to a booth to write a review for each cartoon they saw, excluding their own. After everyone wrote down their reviews, Double D decided to announce the reviews.

"Okay, everyone!" Said Double D. "Time to cast the votes! First, let's see what reviews the classics got. Let's see, Dexter's Laboratory: A. Johnny Bravo: A. Cow & Chicken: A-. The PowerPuff Girls: A. Ed, Edd n Eddy: A-. Courage the Cowardly Dog: A. Samurai Jack: A+. Billy and Mandy: A-. Codename: Kids Next Door: B+. Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends: A+. And finally, Camp Lazlo: C+. That means we're certified fresh!" Everyone cheered.

"Now it's time for the next team's reviews." Said Double D, and he began reading reviews for the newer Cartoon Network shows. "First off, Chowder: B-. Adventure Time: A. Regular Show: A-. The Amazing World of Gumball: B+. Steven Universe: A. Over the Garden Wall: A+. We Bare Bears: A-. Craig of the Creek: A-. Summer Camp Island: B+. And finally, Infinity Train: A+ Well, looks like that rounds up our..." Double D was interrupted by Uncle Grandpa.

“Wait a gosh-darn minute!” Said the old man. “Where is my show?”

“Sorry, Uncle Grandpa.” Said Double D. “But you’re not that popular in the real world.”

“That can’t be!” Said UG. “There’s only one thing we can do.”

“Settle our differences and head home?" Asked Belly Bag.

"Make an episode on how awesome Pizza Steve is?" Asked Pizza Steve.

"Agree to disagree?" Asked Mr. Gus.

"No." Said Uncle Grandpa. "We have to go into war. What day is it, Mr. Gus?"

"October 8th." Said the grumpy dinosaur.

"Then on November 8th," Declared Uncle Grandpa. "The Great Toon War will begin. If you win, the wall will be torn down. If we win, you have to move to another planet!”

“Does it have to be so drastic?” Asked Belly Bag.

“Yes.” Replied Uncle Grandpa. “Besides, we have to go to the real world to see if there are at least some Uncle Grandpa fans out there.” UG, Pizza Steve, Mr. Gus, and Giant Realistic Flying Tiger went in the RV, set it to ‘universe-hop’, and the vehicle hopped like a grasshopper into another dimension.

"I guess we have to go, too." Said Finn, and the rest of the modern Cartoon Network characters started leaving.

—------------------------------

Back in the real world, Jim was watching the show with a popcorn ball.

“Is this gonna be like the upcoming Barbie movie coming next Summer?” Jim said to himself. “If that’s the case, I’m gonna bring Bill over tomorrow! This will be exciting.”

Author's Note: In case you're all wondering, Jimmy and Sarah from Ed, Edd n Eddy referenced Steven Universe, the PowerPuff Girls referenced Regular Show, Billy and Mandy referenced We Bare Bears, Johnny Bravo referenced Adventure Time, Clarence and Jeff from Clarence referenced Ed, Edd n Eddy, and Steven and Pearl from Steven Universe referenced The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.

The Great Toon War: Remastered Chapter 1

Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Dexter's Laboratory, The PowerPuff Girls, Ben 10, Cow & Chicken, Uncle Grandpa, Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, Samurai Jack, We Bare Bears, and all related material © Cartoon Network Studios.
Ed, Edd n Eddy © Cartoon Network. Created by Danny Antonucci.
Courage the Cowardly Dog © Stretch Films.
The Amazing World of Gumball © Hannah-Barbera Studios Europe.

For years, people have enjoyed watching cartoons. Whether they were released in theaters or broadcast on television, human beings were intrigued by the likes of Mickey, Donald, and Goofy, Tom and Jerry, and the Looney Tunes. However, there has never been a channel created specifically for cartoons, or at least until 1992. On October 2nd of that year, Cartoon Network was launched to the public. Little did they know that there’s an alternate universe where Toons have individual planets dedicated to their programming. Anyway, the planet Neptoon was created after Cartoon Network launched. Even though it took planet Earth a few billion years to cool down and support life, it took Neptoon about three years to do so. Soon, there was a city built by a CGI dog known as Moxy, which would be home to various Toons from soon-to-be beloved shows such as Dexter’s Laboratory, Johnny Bravo, Cow and Chicken, and The PowerPuff Girls. Even though he was goofy, Moxy was the glue that kept the Toons from acting out of control. The city, simply called Cartoon Network City, even had buildings modeled after those shows. The city continued to grow and grow until one day in 2004, Moxy died. Three years after that, tensions started growing between the Toons: They wanted to know if the old shows were better or the new ones. A wall was built to separate the Toons from interacting with one another: The Classic CN characters (1995-2006) on one side, and the Modern CN Characters (2007-present) on the other. It was only on Founding’s Day that they were allowed to interact with one another. One day, on October 2nd, 2022, it was an event that would affect not just Neptoon, but also the real world as well. It was the day Neptoon turned 30, and Dexter started questioning the whole holiday.

“Why do we have to do this in the first place?” He said. “This is just as pointless as dressing up as cutesy characters every October 31st just so you can get free candy!”

“Dexter!” Said his mom. “Where did you park your manners? They may be different, but they’re still people.”

“And Gems.” Said Pearl.

“And animals.” Said Potato.

“And plants.” Said Banana Joe.

“Radda radda.” Said Schnitzel.

"Didn't you have a show about a raccoon and a bird who worked at a park but never did their jobs and their boss was a short-tempered gumball machine?" Asked Billy.

"You mean Regular Show?" Answered Amethyst, from the New Cartoon Network Clan. "That ended years ago!"

"However, they lead their own separate lives." Answered Garnet, also from the New Cartoon Network Clan. "They deserve their privacy."

“Yeah, that was a good show.” Said Booergaurd Q Kazoo. “But not as good as my show!”

“What do you mean by that?” Asked Vambre.

“The cerulean one has a point.” Said Dexter. “Episodic television shows are usually better than serialized ones.”

“Can you say it in English?” Asked Eddy.

“It means that shows that focus more on the characters’ lives are superior to story-driven ones, Eddy.” Said Double D. “Like our show, for example.”

"Well, none of your shows, except for Samurai Jack and that show about imaginary friends, had compelling stories with three-dimensional characters!" Retorted Finn.

"I'll show you three-dimensional!" Shouted Eddy, and he started to fight Finn. This lead to an all-out free-for-all, though Double D, Steven Universe, and Clarence decided to stay out of this. After a few minutes of fighting, Double D pressed an air horn, emitting a very loud honk.

"Ha ha ha ha!" Said Clarence. "Do it again!"

"Attention, everybody!" Said Double D, speaking through a megaphone. "Can everyone please listen to me?! Steven, Clarence, and I have made a decision that we should hold a marathon of ten different Cartoon Network shows from each side of the city. The screenings will be held at the theater in the classic side of CN City, and eventually, we will cast our votes on the shows we watched. The shows with the best scores will be rewarded with a certificate of superiority!” Everyone stood silent, though Bonnibel Bubblegum explained what he said.

“It means that the shows with the better scores will be deemed as better!” She said, and everyone cheered. The Toons then went to the classic side of CN City to go to the movie theater to watch each other’s shows.

—------------------------

Meanwhile, in the real world in Weymouth, Massachusetts, a 13-year-old boy named Jim just got back from school, and he got a notification from his phone. He looked at his phone, and he saw a promo for a new show on Cartoon Network.

“The Great Toon War?” He said to himself. “What is this about? ‘A new show in which the old Cartoon Network characters and the new Cartoon Network characters go to war to prove which shows are better.’ Sounds interesting. I think I’ll tune in tomorrow night after homework, even though television is clearly a dying medium.”

Author's Notes: For those unfamiliar, The Moxy Show was the very first Cartoon Network show, though it's considered lost media. It starred a CGI dog named Moxy and a flea named Flea, and was an anthology show that would showcase old cartoons starring the Looney Tunes, Popeye, and Tom and Jerry. Even though the animation clearly wasn't as strong as what Pixar and PDI were doing at the time and the show itself got negative reviews, The Moxy Show was one of Chris Rock's first voice acting roles. On this show, he did Flea (the purple one).

For this story, I was inspired by Greta Gerwig's Barbie: In that movie, rather than being made in a factory, Barbie dolls live life as almost regular human beings in an alternate world known as Barbieland. To top it all off, whatever happens in the real world also happens to Barbieland. For example, if a Barbie in Barbieland suffers from an existential crisis, a Barbie doll with an existential crisis becomes available to sell in the real world. Sounds bonkers, I know.

Potato was a rabbit on OK KO: Let's Be Heroes who was overly optimistic. Like real bunnies, Potato is a great jumper.

Story Remake Announcement

Hi, everyone! In the Summer of 2017, I wrote a story about the classic Cartoon Network characters going to war against the new ones to prove which shows were better. This story was a reflection on what fans debated about in real life, and I wanted to show my frustration through my fanfic, The Great Toon War. Even though I admit the story still works, I can't help but think that there are some scenes that could use plussing: If Toons in this story are actors in the same vein as Who Framed Roger Rabbit, how are they also able to possess God-like powers? I also wanted to feature characters from shows that I either slept on or either didn't exist yet, such as The Life and Times of Juniper Lee, OK KO: Let's Be Heroes, and Infinity Train.

As a twist, I also decided to have 90-94% of every Cartoon Network show living on a large planet in an alternate universe called Neptoon. In a similar fashion to Greta Gerwig's Barbie, whatever happens on Neptoon also affects the real world, and vice versa. There's also a villain named Enrique Chavez, an AI-programmer who hates animation: He believes the beloved art-form is a waste of time, paper, and electricity, and when he learns about Neptoon, plans on destroying it after hearing about Uncle Grandpa's RV.

To learn more about The Great Toom War: Remastered, you'll have to wait until April 10th.

Movie Review: Leo

Movie Review: Leo                                                                                                                      2-6-25

This movie is about a 74-year-old tuatara named Leo, who lives as a class pet in Fort Meyers alongside his Chelonian buddy Squirtle. Leo believes that he’s dying, so one day while being taken home by one of the students, the super-talkative Summer. While trying to escape her bedroom, Summer learns that Leo can talk! After giving Summer advice about listening to other, Leo becomes a class sensation and helps each of the students with their problems, but does Leo have what it takes to charm the super-strict killjoy substitute teacher Ms. Malkin? And can Squirtle still be friends with Leo without getting super jealous?

Leo is easily Adam Sandler’s best movie with a surprisingly deep story, expressive character animation, some catchy songs, and super engaging characters. Of all the students, Summer is my favorite because of how relatable she is: Summer talks to her family and classmates so much that they get bored very quickly. This is something I can totally relate to since I have autism, ADHD, and OCD, and just like Summer, I can talk so much that I can end up bothering others.

Before I move on, Summer looks like this.

And it isn’t just the animals and kids that have depth either: The main reason Ms. Virginia Malkin is such a sourpuss is because she never had her own class, never had respect, and didn’t really have many friends. I personally like to imagine that Virginia and Leo are actually the same age.

Leo speaking to Ms. Malkin in her apartment.

If I were to make a nitpick about the movie, as well as most of the songs being out of place and a handful of gross jokes, I personally don’t like the designs of the kindergarten students: They look more like fish than mammals!

In conclusion, while not as well known or as popular other well-known 2023 animated movies such as Nimona, The Boy and the Heron, or especially Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Leo is still a lot of fun that will be remembered for being better than Disney’s feature that year, Wish. Just look at these ratings on Rotten Tomatoes!

Rating: 3.9 stars out of 5

Movie Review: IF

 Movie Review: IF                                                                                                                        1-13-25

With her dad in the hospital, Bea finds herself staying at her grandmother's apartment the same way she did the summer before her mother died. As she avoids her fears about the situation, she discovers she can see IFs (imaginary friends), and they enlist her to help them get reassigned to new children after their people have grown up and moved on, thinking they no longer need their old emotional supports. The more she tries, the more she realizes that the real solution to all their problems may need her to face down her biggest emotions.

Even though the story is essentially a movie adaptation of Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends with a touch of Spielberg’s Hook, IF excels with a heartfelt timeless tone, outstanding creature designs that actually look like they were created by kids, a good score from Michael Giacinno, and a surprisingly complex protagonist: Bea starts out as your typical cynical girl not too similar to Chihiro from Spirited Away, but after meeting Calvin (Ryan Reynolds’ character in the film) and the main two IFs, Blue and Blossom, she starts to develop a sense of maturity and confidence after dealing with the loss of her mother.

I also love the interaction of the live-action and animated characters. It seems like that Bea and Calvin are actually interacting with the IFs!

In conclusion, despite having a low critics rating on Rotten Tomatoes (Seriously, you need to soften up!), while obviously not on the same caliber as Inside Out 2 and The Wild Robot, IF is an enjoyable film with no cynical bone in its body that the whole family can watch together.

Rating: 3.6 stars out of 5

Animated Movies For 2025

Boy, 2024 was quite a year for animated movies. After five years, Disney finally had a successful movie with Moana 2, which had the biggest box-office opening for a Thanksgiving film. Pixar was able to break The Lion King 2019’s record for being the highest-grossing animated movie of all time with Inside Out 2, which earned a whopping 1.68 billion dollars! DreamWorks was able to wow the crowd with Orion and the Dark and The Wild Robot. Unfortunately for this year, there will be fewer animated movies than usual thanks to the strikes. Regardless, let's see what 2025 has for animated movies!

In January, DreamWorks will release a Captain Underpants spinoff with Dog Man. When a police officer and his dog are caught in an explosion, the nurse Genie S Lady decides to sew the dog’s head onto the man’s body, thus creating Dog Man, licking up crime! The movie will be CG, but will emulate stop-motion in the same fashion as Flushed Away, The LEGO Movie, and The Peanuts Movie. I’m actually a tad concerned about this film, as last time DreamWorks made a spinoff movie to one of their films with Penguins of Madagascar, it had a write-down of 57 million dollars.

In February, Daffy Duck and Porky Pig will star in their very first animated movie with The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie. Due to a series of antics at the bubblegum factory, Daffy and Porky discover a secret alien plot to conquer Earth through mind control. The duo must work together to stop the aliens, while also trying to avoid driving each other insane. Uncle Grandpa creator Peter Browngardt will direct this hand-drawn animated film. And if you're wondering, no. Planet Earth will not be blown up in The Day the Earth Blew Up.

In June, Pixar will release their next movie, Elio. This movie will be about a human boy named Elio as he gets kidnapped by aliens and is mistaken for the ambassador of Planet Earth. This movie was going to be released in March 2024, but was delayed because of the actor’s strike. Let’s hope this movie ends up being a success like Elemental and Inside Out 2.

In July, the famous Belgian blue creatures will appear in their first animated movie in eight years with The Smurfs Movie. Instead of Sony Pictures Animation producing the film, this movie will be done by Nickelodeon, Marcy Media Films, and The Peyo Company, with DreamWorks veteran Chris Miller directing the project.

In August, the famous animal thieves will return in The Bad Guys 2. In this movie, the Bad Guys are struggling to find trust and acceptance in their newly minted lives as Good Guys, when they are pulled out of retirement and forced to do 'one last job' by an all-female squad of criminals. I just hope that this movie lives up to the first one.

There will be two animated movies in November. First, on November 21st, is David, an independent CGI musical that will retell the biblical story of David. The movie has been described as a cross between The Prince of Egypt and Tangled: It will have the beauty and authenticity of The Prince of Egypt and the energy, passion, fun, and humor of Tangled. To learn more about David, click on the link below.

Facebook

On November 26th, Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps are back with Zootopia 2. This movie will feature animals that weren’t in Zootopia 1, such as a snake named Gary. I just hope this movie doesn’t end up stinking like a skunk-butt rug.

And finally, in December, the world-famous yellow invertebrate will return for his next animated movie with The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants. This movie will be about SpongeBob journeying to the depths of the ocean to face off against the ghost of the Flying Dutchman. Rather than Bryan Doyle-Murray voicing the famous ghost like on the show, Mark Hamill will voice him instead. With both Sponge on the Run and Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie being SpongeBob’s worst movies to date, I have no desire to see Search For SquarePants.

Of all these films, I'm most excited for The Bad Guys 2, The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie, and David.

Once again, there will be more animated movies than the ones listed here. These were the ones I wanted to talk about.

I'm sorry that I didn't include a proper picture for The Smurfs Movie. As I'm typing, there are no posters for that film yet.