Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Dexter's Laboratory, The PowerPuff Girls, Ben 10, Cow & Chicken, Uncle Grandpa, Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, Samurai Jack, We Bare Bears, and all related material © Cartoon Network Studios.
Ed, Edd n Eddy © Cartoon Network. Created by Danny Antonucci.
Courage the Cowardly Dog © Stretch Films.
The Amazing World of Gumball © Hannah-Barbera Studios Europe.
For years, people have enjoyed watching cartoons. Whether they were released in theaters or broadcast on television, human beings were intrigued by the likes of Mickey, Donald, and Goofy, Tom and Jerry, and the Looney Tunes. However, there has never been a channel created specifically for cartoons, or at least until 1992. On October 2nd of that year, Cartoon Network was launched to the public. Little did they know that there’s an alternate universe where Toons have individual planets dedicated to their programming. Anyway, the planet Neptoon was created after Cartoon Network launched. Even though it took planet Earth a few billion years to cool down and support life, it took Neptoon about three years to do so. Soon, there was a city built by a CGI dog known as Moxy, which would be home to various Toons from soon-to-be beloved shows such as Dexter’s Laboratory, Johnny Bravo, Cow and Chicken, and The PowerPuff Girls. Even though he was goofy, Moxy was the glue that kept the Toons from acting out of control. The city, simply called Cartoon Network City, even had buildings modeled after those shows. The city continued to grow and grow until one day in 2004, Moxy died. Three years after that, tensions started growing between the Toons: They wanted to know if the old shows were better or the new ones. A wall was built to separate the Toons from interacting with one another: The Classic CN characters (1995-2006) on one side, and the Modern CN Characters (2007-present) on the other. It was only on Founding’s Day that they were allowed to interact with one another. One day, on October 2nd, 2022, it was an event that would affect not just Neptoon, but also the real world as well. It was the day Neptoon turned 30, and Dexter started questioning the whole holiday.
“Why do we have to do this in the first place?” He said. “This is just as pointless as dressing up as cutesy characters every October 31st just so you can get free candy!”
“Dexter!” Said his mom. “Where did you park your manners? They may be different, but they’re still people.”
“And Gems.” Said Pearl.
“And animals.” Said Potato.
“And plants.” Said Banana Joe.
“Radda radda.” Said Schnitzel.
"Didn't you have a show about a raccoon and a bird who worked at a park but never did their jobs and their boss was a short-tempered gumball machine?" Asked Billy.
"You mean Regular Show?" Answered Amethyst, from the New Cartoon Network Clan. "That ended years ago!"
"However, they lead their own separate lives." Answered Garnet, also from the New Cartoon Network Clan. "They deserve their privacy."
“Yeah, that was a good show.” Said Booergaurd Q Kazoo. “But not as good as my show!”
“What do you mean by that?” Asked Vambre.
“The cerulean one has a point.” Said Dexter. “Episodic television shows are usually better than serialized ones.”
“Can you say it in English?” Asked Eddy.
“It means that shows that focus more on the characters’ lives are superior to story-driven ones, Eddy.” Said Double D. “Like our show, for example.”
"Well, none of your shows, except for Samurai Jack and that show about imaginary friends, had compelling stories with three-dimensional characters!" Retorted Finn.
"I'll show you three-dimensional!" Shouted Eddy, and he started to fight Finn. This lead to an all-out free-for-all, though Double D, Steven Universe, and Clarence decided to stay out of this. After a few minutes of fighting, Double D pressed an air horn, emitting a very loud honk.
"Ha ha ha ha!" Said Clarence. "Do it again!"
"Attention, everybody!" Said Double D, speaking through a megaphone. "Can everyone please listen to me?! Steven, Clarence, and I have made a decision that we should hold a marathon of ten different Cartoon Network shows from each side of the city. The screenings will be held at the theater in the classic side of CN City, and eventually, we will cast our votes on the shows we watched. The shows with the best scores will be rewarded with a certificate of superiority!” Everyone stood silent, though Bonnibel Bubblegum explained what he said.
“It means that the shows with the better scores will be deemed as better!” She said, and everyone cheered. The Toons then went to the classic side of CN City to go to the movie theater to watch each other’s shows.
—------------------------
Meanwhile, in the real world in Weymouth Massachusetts, a 13-year-old boy named Jim just got back from school, and he got a notification from his phone. He looked at his phone, and he saw a promo for a new show on Cartoon Network.
“The Great Toon War?” He said to himself. “What is this about? ‘A new show in which the old Cartoon Network characters and the new Cartoon Network characters go to war to prove which shows are better.’ Sounds interesting. I think I’ll tune in tomorrow night after homework, even though television is clearly a dying medium.”
Author's Notes: For those unfamiliar, The Moxy Show was the very first Cartoon Network show, though it's considered lost media. It starred a CGI dog named Moxy and a flea named Flea, and was an anthology show that would showcase old cartoons starring the Looney Tunes, Popeye, and Tom and Jerry. Even though the animation clearly wasn't as strong as what Pixar and PDI were doing at the time and the show itself got negative reviews, The Moxy Show was one of Chris Rock's first voice acting roles. On this show, he did Flea (the purple one).
For this story, I was inspired by Greta Gerwig's Barbie: In that movie, rather than being made in a factory, Barbie dolls live life as almost regular human beings in an alternate world known as Barbieland. To top it all off, whatever happens in the real world also happens to Barbieland. For example, if a Barbie in Barbieland suffers from an existential crisis, a Barbie doll with an existential crisis becomes available to sell in the real world. Sounds bonkers, I know.
Potato was a rabbit on OK KO: Let's Be Heroes who was overly optimistic. Like real bunnies, Potato is a great jumper.
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