Backstage, as Jimmy and Carl walked off the stage, Tommy immediately asked Jimmy if the dunk tanks were ready yet.
“Are the dunk tanks ready yet?” He asked.
“XJ-9!” Jimmy called. “Are the dunk tanks ready yet?”
“For the 50th time,” Answered a blue humanoid robot. “Call me Jenny! And yes, the dunk tanks are ready.” Jenny, along with a larger and more muscular-looking robot, were each carrying two dunk tanks. Afraid of getting herself short-circuited, Jenny sprouted four extra arms to safely carry the tanks over. When she placed them down, Jenny’s extra arms retracted back.
“That’s great!” Said Tommy. “Now we just need to bring them on stage and get out the participants!”
“I’ll bring out the participants!” Said Jenny. “XJ-8 will bring them over. Won’t you, sis?”
“Yes, sister.” Said the larger robot, grabbing the dunk tanks with two separate hands and walking onto the stage. A couple minutes later, Gerald walked onto the stage to introduce the next act.
“Have you ever been channel surfing, saw a show you despised, and thought to yourself ‘I wish I could beat up that character?’” He asked. “Well, here’s your chance! Six unloved Nicktoons characters volunteered to be dunked, and now’s your chance to throw whatever you want at them! If you’ve been following us on social media, you may have been told to bring your own expired food to throw at them! However, if you didn’t bring anything to throw, you can always buy eggs from us for 5 dollars a carton! Without further ado, here are the Nicktoons to be dunked!” The curtain rose, and it revealed four tanks from four unloved shows: Bessie Higgenbottem from The Mighty B, Bunsen from Bunsen is a Beast, Sanjay Patel and Craig the snake from Sanjay & Craig, and Fanboy and Chum-Chum. However, someone from the audience started complaining.
“Aw, no Bread-Losers?” He asked.
“Sorry.” Said Gerald. “We couldn’t seem to find them. I better go now. This could get messy!” Gerald left the stage to avoid getting hit with expired food.
“This can’t be happening!” Said Bessie. “I’d hate to have to do this: Kajolika! Kajolika! Kajolika!” But nothing happened.
“That only happens in the cartoon, Mighty Beanie!” Said someone from the audience, and she threw pickle slices at her.
“At least it’s not zucchini.” Bessie thought to herself.
“What did I ever do to you?" Asked Bunsen.
"Your show was a knockoff of My Gym Partner's a Monkey and Hotel Transylvania!" Said a heckler. "Not to mention that your show looked more like a Canadian import than something from Butch Hartman!"
"Good point." Said Bunsen, and someone threw a tomato at him.
"Your show was a knockoff of My Gym Partner's a Monkey and Hotel Transylvania!" Said a heckler. "Not to mention that your show looked more like a Canadian import than something from Butch Hartman!"
"Good point." Said Bunsen, and someone threw a tomato at him.
“What did we ever do to you?” Asked Sanjay Patel, with Craig tied to him like rope.
“Your show was a rip-off of Adventure Time and Regular Show!” Said another heckler. “It was nothing but potty humor and gross-out gags!”
“Yeah, well Ren and Stimpy, Rocko’s Modern Life, and CatDog also had potty humor,” Said Craig. “And you treat those shows like gods!”
“Who died and made you king?” Asked the same heckler that threw pickles at Bessie, and she threw food at Sanjay. Luckily, Craig saved Sanjay by unhinging his jaws and swallowed whatever was thrown at him. However, someone threw a shoe at that tank’s lever, and it dropped Sanjay and Craig in the water.
“At least it untied your knot.” Said Sanjay.
“Help!” Shouted Chum-Chum. “We’re trapped like Yamaguchi!”
“Serves you right.” Said the heckler that dunked Bunsen. “If it weren’t for your excuse of a show, Adventure Time may have had the chance to become a Nicktoon! Now Nick is a husk of its former self thanks to you!” He threw a boot at the lever, and FanBoy and Chum-Chum fell into the water. FanBoy tasted the water and made a comment.
“This could use some sugar.” He said. “Hey, anybody! Could you throw a bag of sugar at us, please?” Someone threw a watermelon, instead. As the curtains closed, Heffer (who finally returned from his walk), Jenny, and XJ-8 carried the dunk tanks and took the characters out. Helga was going to go onstage, but she had stage fright.
“I don’t know if I can do this, Football Head.” She said. “They’ll all think it’s dumb!”
“I won’t think it’s dumb.” Said Arnold. “And here’s some confidence to help overcome your stage fright.” He kissed her on the cheek, and Helga sighed with contentment. She shook off the goofy grin and walked on stage.
“And now,” She said. “A poem by me, Helga G Pataki.” She pulled out her heart-shaped notebook and started reading one of her poems. “‘H is for the head I’d like to punt. E is for every time I see the little runt. L is longing for our first kiss. G is for how good that longing is. And A is for Arnold, of course.’ Duh!” The audience laughed and cheered, and Helga bowed for her fans.
The poem Helga reads in this chapter was actually a poem she secretly wrote in the Hey Arnold episode 'The Little Pink Book'.
In The Mighty B, Bessie's middle name was Kajolika, and whenever someone said that name, something bad would happen.
Yamaguchi was a parody of the toy line Tamagachi in FanBoy and Chum-Chum, and was a favorite of Yo (no last name given).
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