A Loud Legend Chapter 10

Lincoln, Lynn, Flecko, and Craig just got out of the lake area. Lincoln put make-up on his acne in case someone else sees him. In a dorm, Squidward was arguing with Ronnie-Anne.

"You think your troops are ready to fight?" Squidward asked the Latino teenage girl. "They wouldn't last a minute against the Coons!"

"They completed their training." Said Ronnie Anne.

"Those boys aren't fit to be soldiers than you are to be captain." Said Squidward. "Once Von Strangle reads my report, your troops will never see battle."

"We're not finished!" Demanded Ronnie Anne.

"Be careful, captain." Warned Squidward. "You may be the general's sister, but I am Big Man's counsel. And by the way, I got that job by myself. You're dismissed." Ronnie Anne walked out of Squidward's dorm, and Lincoln tried to make small talk with her.

"Hey, I'll hold him, and you punch!" Suggested Lincoln. Ronnie Anne just ignored him. "For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain." Ronnie Anne smiled slightly, and continued back to her tent. Craig noticed this and popped out of the grass.

"I saw that." He said.

"What?" Asked Lincoln.

"You like her, don't you?" Asked Craig.

"No!" Protested Lincoln. "I..."

"Yeah, right, sure." Said Craig. "Go back to your tent!" Once Lincoln left, Craig and Flecko were now alone.

"I think it's time we took this war into our own hands." Said Craig. He slithered to Squidward's dorm, and the middle-aged man walked out, ready to bathe in the lake. Once the coast was clear, Craig and Flecko entered the dorm. Flecko started typing on Squidward's laptop.

"Let me see what you got." Said Craig, reading the computer screen. "'Dear Ms. Santiago, We're waiting for the Coons at the Water Tribe. It would mean a lot if you were to help us out.' And you forgot to say 'And since we're out of sauerkraut, perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing us some.' HELLO! This is the army! Make it sound more urgent, please! Know what I'm talking about?" Flecko nodded his head in agreement and typed a new letter.

"That's better." Said Craig. "Much better. Now let's print it and go!"

Now that they had the letter, Craig and Flecko needed a mode of transportation, so they went to see Lynn.

"Lynnda, baby." Said Craig." We need a ride." Upon hearing that, Lynn spat at Craig. She was about to spit at Flecko, but then the fly flew off.
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Meanwhile, at the lake, Squidward just finished taking his bath. He dried his body and bald head with two separate towels, while also holding his soaked slippers.

"Insubordinate ruffians." Said Squidward. "You men owe me a new pair of slippers! And I do not scream like a girl." Suddenly, a dog with a cat's face on its butt took a bite out of Squidward's slipper, causing Squidward to scream. On the creature’s back was a dummy of a tall tan general with large muscles, a green shirt, and camouflage-patterned pants. Craig controlled the arms while Flecko controlled the facial features.

"Urgent news for the general." Said Craig, using an Arnold Schwartzanigger-like voice. Squidward couldn't help but stare at the creature the dummy was riding on. "What? Never seen a cross-breed before?" Squidward started directly at where Flecko was, who was cleverly hidden.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"Excuse me?" Responded Craig. "I think the question is, who are you? We're in a war, man! There's no time for stupid questions! I should have your nose for that, rip it right off your face. But I'm feeling gracious today, so carry on before I report you." The cat side of the creature climbed up a nearby tree and broke the dummy, but thankfully, Squidward didn't notice it. When Squidward finished reading the letter the dummy gave him, he burst into Ronnie Anne's tent.

"Captain!" Shouted Squidward. "Urgent news from the general! We're needed at the front!"

"Pack your bags, Flecko." Said Craig, who was watching Squidward from a tree along with Flecko. "We're moving out."

Author's Notes: Flecko typing on the laptop in this chapter is loosely based on a deleted scene in Zootopia, in which Judy Hopps hopped on the keyboards of an elephant's computer to do research on Emmet Otterton, the missing otter.
The idea for sauerkraut came from the Loud House episode 'Changing the Baby'. 

The creature the dummy rides on in this chapter is CatDog, from the rather unusual 90s Nicktoon CatDog.

 

The dummy in this chapter is a nod to Jorgen Von Strangle from The Fairly OddParents.